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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

People undergoing extensive fertility treatments bug me.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 495 Replies
15 moms liked this

 Here is my rant.


I think the medical community labels couples as being infertile way too quickly. Back in the day it wasn't uncommon for it to take a few years for a woman to become pregnant. We have become such a demanding society that people want everything NOW and the medical community is happy to oblige and charge billions.

I think many (not all) people who undergo years of IVF hurt themselves and their marriages. infertile women can be whackos...especially to people who get pregnant naturally. Sex becomes mechanical.

Why waste all your money on IVF when you could adopt? I know some insurance covers IVF but many people spend a lot out of pocket. Not that everyone should or can adopt, but 5+ years of clomid/IUI/IVF is bazaar to me.

Also, I am sad about the unused/discarded embryos.

EDIT:  Cafe mom should require a reading comprehension test before letting people on this site.   I'm not berating anyone who undergoes fertility treatments.  I think that's a normal next step if you can't get pregnant. I'm critisizing the medical community for the promises they make and I'm sad for people who undergo extensive prolonged fertility treatments... clomid, IUI, IVF and whatever else the doctors have to offer for YEARS on end.  There are a lot of people left with no baby and money lost out of pocket.  If that is not your situation then guess what?  I'm not talking about you. If you're going to post a success story about your IVF then great.  It worked!  Congratulations.  Again...not talking to you. 

My personal opinion (what I would do for my own body) is to forgo IVF.  That doesn't mean I think you should forgo it but do conside the facts.

Edit (one more time)  Yes - we did have fertility problems.  I have miscarried 4 times an then adopted a beautiful baby girl.  We have no other children at this time.  I never underwent any fertility treatments other than an HSG to check the shape of my uterus and some progesterone during pregnancy.  I am 45 and I consider myself too old to TTC now so we are done.

Edit Again - some books referenced on this thread

The Business of Baby: What Doctors Don't Tell You, What Corporations Try to Sell You, and How to Put Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Before Their Bottom Line

Another book

Everything's Conceivable was a book referenced in this thread.   The author is Liz Munday and it's on Amazon and Google Books.

Random House LLCApr 24, 2007 - Social Science - 406 pages

Award-winning journalist Liza Mundy captures the human narratives, as well as the science, behind the controversial, multibillion-dollar fertility industry, and examines how this huge social experiment is transforming our most basic relationships and even our destiny as a species.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM
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inspain
by Platinum Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:03 PM
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We tried for five years for DD1.  We used Clomid and got pregnant at the four year mark.  There was no heart beat at 7 weeks.  We were about to begin an IVF trial when I got pregnant, three months after the miscarriage.  

We tried two years for DD2, then spent the next two years trying Clomid and IUI, three rounds, at $1000 each.  We finally tried IVF.  It was far, far, far cheaper than adoption.  It worked on the first go.  

I would never consider adoption.  

We have offered our remaining 5 embryos to a friend.  If she chooses not to use them or take them over by February of 2014, they will be destroyed.  

Sex was never mechanical and the worst I ever got on IVF drugs was sleepy and I had one afternoon where I would have killed for a cheeseburger and ice cream.  Otherwise, I was fine.  

Our marriage has never suffered, through any of this.  We only got closer.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Have you ever wondered if you would have gotten pregnant w/o the fertility treatments?

Quoting inspain:

We tried for five years for DD1.  We used Clomid and got pregnant at the four year mark.  There was no heart beat at 7 weeks.  We were about to begin an IVF trial when I got pregnant, three months after the miscarriage.  

We tried two years for DD2, then spent the next two years trying Clomid and IUI, three rounds, at $1000 each.  We finally tried IVF.  It was far, far, far cheaper than adoption.  It worked on the first go.  

I would never consider adoption.  

We have offered our remaining 5 embryos to a friend.  If she chooses not to use them or take them over by February of 2014, they will be destroyed.  

Sex was never mechanical and the worst I ever got on IVF drugs was sleepy and I had one afternoon where I would have killed for a cheeseburger and ice cream.  Otherwise, I was fine.  

Our marriage has never suffered, through any of this.  We only got closer.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:17 PM
6 moms liked this

You know some people can't. So let it go.  At least these people aren't on PA.  They pay a pretty penny to have a child of their dreams.  

inspain
by Platinum Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:18 PM

You mean the IVF with DD2?  No, because I'm not a moron.  I was lucky there were any eggs left.  I was 45.  AND both of my tubes were blocked.  One was blocked when I got pregnant with DD1.  After that many years of trying, at my age (35 with DD1), assistance was the smartest route to take.  

After age 30, it's recommended that one try for no more than two years before seeking help.  We tried for five.  I'd have to be an idiot to have kept hoping beyond that.

Quoting Anonymous:

Have you ever wondered if you would have gotten pregnant w/o the fertility treatments?

Quoting inspain:

We tried for five years for DD1.  We used Clomid and got pregnant at the four year mark.  There was no heart beat at 7 weeks.  We were about to begin an IVF trial when I got pregnant, three months after the miscarriage.  

We tried two years for DD2, then spent the next two years trying Clomid and IUI, three rounds, at $1000 each.  We finally tried IVF.  It was far, far, far cheaper than adoption.  It worked on the first go.  

I would never consider adoption.  

We have offered our remaining 5 embryos to a friend.  If she chooses not to use them or take them over by February of 2014, they will be destroyed.  

Sex was never mechanical and the worst I ever got on IVF drugs was sleepy and I had one afternoon where I would have killed for a cheeseburger and ice cream.  Otherwise, I was fine.  

Our marriage has never suffered, through any of this.  We only got closer.  


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:18 PM
2 moms liked this
Not everyone wants to adopt. Not everyone who can't have kids feel obligated to adopt.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:19 PM
9 moms liked this

I agree, but I go one further.


Women who destroy their endocrine system by using birth control have no right whining when they DO decide they want a baby. This is no different than a chain smoker getting lung cancer and feeling sorry for themselves.


CAUSE AND EFFECT

ROBIN-C
by Gold Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:22 PM
3 moms liked this

You can have you opinion but I am so very thankful for IVF! My brother and his wife now have a beautiful almost 2 year old son! No she never would pave gotten pregnant without the IVF. And it's their choice to have their own kid and cheaper be ause ins covered a huge portion of it. 

Anonandon
by on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:23 PM

I used Clomid to get pregnant with both of my kids.  I was a month from being cut off from it (my doctor only prescribes it for up to 9 months at a time) when I got pregnant with my son.  Around the 6 month mark, we started discussing other options.  IVF was not something we were willing to do, so we were going to look into foster adoption.  We probably still will look into foster adoption later on down the road, but not right now.  It doesn't bother me if people use IVF, it's their money, not mine, and I understand the strong desire to have your own biological child.

EAzizM
by Erica on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:26 PM
3 moms liked this
Because adoption is a one size fits all?? Yea, not so much.
first-one
by Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 11:26 PM
12 moms liked this

I'm sure my friend who'd give her left boob (and probably her right one too) to be pregnant would totally agree with your heartless, cold, opinion based statement.

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