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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

People undergoing extensive fertility treatments bug me.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 Here is my rant.


I think the medical community labels couples as being infertile way too quickly. Back in the day it wasn't uncommon for it to take a few years for a woman to become pregnant. We have become such a demanding society that people want everything NOW and the medical community is happy to oblige and charge billions.

I think many (not all) people who undergo years of IVF hurt themselves and their marriages. infertile women can be whackos...especially to people who get pregnant naturally. Sex becomes mechanical.

Why waste all your money on IVF when you could adopt? I know some insurance covers IVF but many people spend a lot out of pocket. Not that everyone should or can adopt, but 5+ years of clomid/IUI/IVF is bazaar to me.

Also, I am sad about the unused/discarded embryos.

EDIT:  Cafe mom should require a reading comprehension test before letting people on this site.   I'm not berating anyone who undergoes fertility treatments.  I think that's a normal next step if you can't get pregnant. I'm critisizing the medical community for the promises they make and I'm sad for people who undergo extensive prolonged fertility treatments... clomid, IUI, IVF and whatever else the doctors have to offer for YEARS on end.  There are a lot of people left with no baby and money lost out of pocket.  If that is not your situation then guess what?  I'm not talking about you. If you're going to post a success story about your IVF then great.  It worked!  Congratulations.  Again...not talking to you. 

My personal opinion (what I would do for my own body) is to forgo IVF.  That doesn't mean I think you should forgo it but do conside the facts.

Edit (one more time)  Yes - we did have fertility problems.  I have miscarried 4 times an then adopted a beautiful baby girl.  We have no other children at this time.  I never underwent any fertility treatments other than an HSG to check the shape of my uterus and some progesterone during pregnancy.  I am 45 and I consider myself too old to TTC now so we are done.

Edit Again - some books referenced on this thread

The Business of Baby: What Doctors Don't Tell You, What Corporations Try to Sell You, and How to Put Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Before Their Bottom Line

Another book

Everything's Conceivable was a book referenced in this thread.   The author is Liz Munday and it's on Amazon and Google Books.

Random House LLCApr 24, 2007 - Social Science - 406 pages

Award-winning journalist Liza Mundy captures the human narratives, as well as the science, behind the controversial, multibillion-dollar fertility industry, and examines how this huge social experiment is transforming our most basic relationships and even our destiny as a species.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Replies (51-60):
ashley1693
by Gold Member on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:01 AM
I've been trying for 7 years. So how many more years should I fail before its right for me to take further steps?
We don't want to adopt. I had adoptive brothers growing up. They were HORRIBLE they made our life living hell. I don't want to go through that again. I also don't want to spend a ton of money to be put on a 3+ YEAR wait list to only get a child, get attached and have a birth parent change their mind and take the child back.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:02 AM
2 moms liked this
How dare those whacko infertile losers spend their own money on something they want! Oh the nerve! They should instead spend their hard earned money lavishing the fertile women of the world with soft linen blankies for their bundles of joy.
kelly617
by Gold Member on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:03 AM
2 moms liked this

I really don't understand how its ANY of your business?
If a couple is having trouble getting pregnant and they want to use a fertility specialist and medical intervention to help them have the child they want how does that affect you in any way, shape or form??

I have never had fertility issues...when we wanted to get pregnant...boom we got pregnant. I was lucky...I have friends that were not so lucky. I am SO happy they have the option of clomid, or IUI or IVF or whatever so they can feel the joy I feel.

turtlesquish23
by on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Not here. we're looking at 30-60k for open adoption. 75k for closed. maybe its because we're gay so some agencies won't take us. ivf is cheaper and what I want is my own child, that grew inside me. selfish, I know. I will adopt, its just not that easy


Quoting Anonymous:

I have experienced infertility. And I have adopted. IVF can cost as much as you want to spend. The medical community will just keep on taking your money. Adoption is 30k on the high end.







Quoting turtlesquish23:

Ivf costed me 5k. adoption costs 30k. also the sex was never mechanical however we're gay so....yeah. I hope you never experience infertility

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:06 AM

Quoting Anonymous:

It cost less than $100k. I know two couples who have thrown over $100k down the shitter out of pocket on IVF and got nothing. I know, its not my business but when they complain, i just don't have the words.

Quoting Pastalove:

I love how people think adoption is the obvious cheap choice!  We're trying to adopt because fertility treatments were not a good option for us and it's freaking expensive and there is NO guarantee just like fertility treatments.  


There is no way that those two couples have spent over $100k in IVF treatments. That would be 10 cycles without insurance (and everyone who does IVF gets IVF insurance, which refunds a good portion of your money if a child is not conceived) and its not safe nor possible to hyperovulate a woman's ovaries for that many cycles.
rayroe2
by on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:08 AM
It is. I would give you one of my kids from birth no questions asked but one.

Quoting turtlesquish23:

Its not that easy.




Quoting rayroe2:

Its called adoption!





Quoting LiesLiesLies:

It really bugs me that people care so much about what another couple does.







Infertility is a horrible thing to deal with. It is a normal natural thing for a woman to want to experience pregnancy and a man to want to watch his wife grow their child inside of her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:10 AM

Stop laughing your ass off and read the OP. Yes, sometimes IVF works great. If you notice I used the word "extensive" in the headline...and then referenced 5 years or more in the post. (I hate it when people can't read.)

The bottom line is that people are too impatient and the medical community over promises. Over promising can cause stress, grief and hurt people's marriages.

Adoption is and option many don't considered because the doctors are promising miracles they cannot deliver.

Imagine if the money wasted on fertility treatments (where no babies are ever conceived) was spent on helping starving children in other countries. There are 300 babies per day discarded in Kenya. Many thrown in the trash.

Many couples would have gotten a bigger reward from perusing adoption than they did shelling out cash for failed IVF.

Quoting Anonymous:

LMAO! If only you knew the truth. IVF is much cheaper, much quicker, and much more guaranteed than adoption.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:11 AM
Go read some research and/or speak with endocrinologists.


Quoting queencreekmom:


How does it destroy it? I was on birth control from 1986 to 2001. I got pregnant the very first month I went off bc. I had 3 kids in 4 years. Almost every mom I know was on bc for some time to prevent pregnancy. 


Quoting Anonymous:

I agree, but I go one further.


Women who destroy their endocrine system by using birth control have no right whining when they DO decide they want a baby. This is no different than a chain smoker getting lung cancer and feeling sorry for themselves.


CAUSE AND EFFECT





Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Well, I have been trying for 2 1/2 years. Is that long enough for me to qualify?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:13 AM
Was it like is 5-10 years ago? My friends have been doing this for a long time. I am only going by what they have told me.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Anonymous:

It cost less than $100k. I know two couples who have thrown over $100k down the shitter out of pocket on IVF and got nothing. I know, its not my business but when they complain, i just don't have the words.



Quoting Pastalove:

I love how people think adoption is the obvious cheap choice!  We're trying to adopt because fertility treatments were not a good option for us and it's freaking expensive and there is NO guarantee just like fertility treatments.  




There is no way that those two couples have spent over $100k in IVF treatments. That would be 10 cycles without insurance (and everyone who does IVF gets IVF insurance, which refunds a good portion of your money if a child is not conceived) and its not safe nor possible to hyperovulate a woman's ovaries for that many cycles.
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