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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

People undergoing extensive fertility treatments bug me.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 Here is my rant.


I think the medical community labels couples as being infertile way too quickly. Back in the day it wasn't uncommon for it to take a few years for a woman to become pregnant. We have become such a demanding society that people want everything NOW and the medical community is happy to oblige and charge billions.

I think many (not all) people who undergo years of IVF hurt themselves and their marriages. infertile women can be whackos...especially to people who get pregnant naturally. Sex becomes mechanical.

Why waste all your money on IVF when you could adopt? I know some insurance covers IVF but many people spend a lot out of pocket. Not that everyone should or can adopt, but 5+ years of clomid/IUI/IVF is bazaar to me.

Also, I am sad about the unused/discarded embryos.

EDIT:  Cafe mom should require a reading comprehension test before letting people on this site.   I'm not berating anyone who undergoes fertility treatments.  I think that's a normal next step if you can't get pregnant. I'm critisizing the medical community for the promises they make and I'm sad for people who undergo extensive prolonged fertility treatments... clomid, IUI, IVF and whatever else the doctors have to offer for YEARS on end.  There are a lot of people left with no baby and money lost out of pocket.  If that is not your situation then guess what?  I'm not talking about you. If you're going to post a success story about your IVF then great.  It worked!  Congratulations.  Again...not talking to you. 

My personal opinion (what I would do for my own body) is to forgo IVF.  That doesn't mean I think you should forgo it but do conside the facts.

Edit (one more time)  Yes - we did have fertility problems.  I have miscarried 4 times an then adopted a beautiful baby girl.  We have no other children at this time.  I never underwent any fertility treatments other than an HSG to check the shape of my uterus and some progesterone during pregnancy.  I am 45 and I consider myself too old to TTC now so we are done.

Edit Again - some books referenced on this thread

The Business of Baby: What Doctors Don't Tell You, What Corporations Try to Sell You, and How to Put Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Before Their Bottom Line

Another book

Everything's Conceivable was a book referenced in this thread.   The author is Liz Munday and it's on Amazon and Google Books.

Random House LLCApr 24, 2007 - Social Science - 406 pages

Award-winning journalist Liza Mundy captures the human narratives, as well as the science, behind the controversial, multibillion-dollar fertility industry, and examines how this huge social experiment is transforming our most basic relationships and even our destiny as a species.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Replies (101-110):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 23 on Aug. 9, 2013 at 12:59 AM
2 moms liked this

IVF has nothing to do with sex since fertilization happens in the lab.

Most reproductive endocrinologists require a couple try for a minimum of 6 months to a year before they will even begin treatments. 

Many REs who deal with IVF set a limit on the number of retrievals and transfers that are attempted.

Many of the couples who go through infertility treatments are not candidates for adoption. Various adoption agencies have rules ranging from a couple certifying that they will not attempt to have biological children to having no medical problems to weight restrictions and religious restrictions. 

Most IVF clinics have policies on embryos not implanted in the couple. Some will not discard an embryo. 

Couples who face the issue of infertility or secondary infertility have just as much right to want a biological child as others.

What bothers many couples in infertility treatment are the women who complain that they are pregnant, talk about how they hope they aren't knocked up again, bitch about every aspect of parenthood, etc. 

TeamTARDIS
by on Aug. 9, 2013 at 1:00 AM
Btw, why does it matter if someone needs IVF or just wants it because they want it? How is it affecting you at all? It is their money, time, bodies and future children. Why do you care, unless you are jealous because you can't afford it so you try to put people down who can.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 9, 2013 at 1:00 AM
You are a smart lady. Good luck. Maybe you will get pregnant along the way.

Quoting MaggieO:

I was able to get pregnant once on my own and have a beautiful son.  I was unable to get pregnant again.  I did 2 rounds of IVF that failed and said "enough"!  We are pursuing adoption for a second child.  I don't judge anyone who does IVF or egg donation or whatever it takes.  I just couldn't take it anymore.  It's hard on the body and the soul. 

Mcelly
by on Aug. 9, 2013 at 1:04 AM
I had 2 kids naturally, my pregnancies were terrible. We wanted 4 kids, but I felt I could only handle 1 more pregnancy. So I did IVF, transfered 2 eggs, the probability of 1 implanting was 60% twins 40% triplets 5%
I delivered triplets. I am done having babies, I got 3 babies, 1 pregnancy, I had no fertility issues, for us it was family planning.
Adoption is not something my husband wanted to do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 9, 2013 at 1:09 AM
How early were they?

Quoting Mcelly:

I had 2 kids naturally, my pregnancies were terrible. We wanted 4 kids, but I felt I could only handle 1 more pregnancy. So I did IVF, transfered 2 eggs, the probability of 1 implanting was 60% twins 40% triplets 5%

I delivered triplets. I am done having babies, I got 3 babies, 1 pregnancy, I had no fertility issues, for us it was family planning.

Adoption is not something my husband wanted to do.
Mcelly
by on Aug. 9, 2013 at 1:15 AM
31 weeks. They offered a reduction to twins to increase the time I could carry, we said no. They were in the nicu for 3, 4, and 5 weeks.
Going through w the triplet pregnancy was risky, and not what we had expected. We got a bonus baby, and they are all doing great. They were preemies, but they are as healthy as my other 2 full term babies.


Quoting Anonymous:

How early were they?



Quoting Mcelly:

I had 2 kids naturally, my pregnancies were terrible. We wanted 4 kids, but I felt I could only handle 1 more pregnancy. So I did IVF, transfered 2 eggs, the probability of 1 implanting was 60% twins 40% triplets 5%


I delivered triplets. I am done having babies, I got 3 babies, 1 pregnancy, I had no fertility issues, for us it was family planning.


Adoption is not something my husband wanted to do.

justbreatheOx
by Platinum Member on Aug. 9, 2013 at 6:52 AM

Toonkasmommy
by Platinum Member on Aug. 9, 2013 at 7:42 AM
They have the right to do whatever it takes to have a baby.
Toonkasmommy
by Platinum Member on Aug. 9, 2013 at 7:47 AM
Congrats :)


Quoting Mcelly:

31 weeks. They offered a reduction to twins to increase the time I could carry, we said no. They were in the nicu for 3, 4, and 5 weeks.

Going through w the triplet pregnancy was risky, and not what we had expected. We got a bonus baby, and they are all doing great. They were preemies, but they are as healthy as my other 2 full term babies.




Quoting Anonymous:

How early were they?





Quoting Mcelly:

I had 2 kids naturally, my pregnancies were terrible. We wanted 4 kids, but I felt I could only handle 1 more pregnancy. So I did IVF, transfered 2 eggs, the probability of 1 implanting was 60% twins 40% triplets 5%



I delivered triplets. I am done having babies, I got 3 babies, 1 pregnancy, I had no fertility issues, for us it was family planning.



Adoption is not something my husband wanted to do.


j3st3r
by Jedi on Aug. 9, 2013 at 7:49 AM
I think your last statement is the most telling. I have no issues with coupled using technology to conceive.
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