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Why do you women think other women can't be friends with married men?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Is it because of insecurities? Or what? If my best guy friend got married I don't think we shouldn't be friends because of that.

Most of you women won't admit you are insecure about your husbands being friends with females and its really sad.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 14, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Replies (11-20):
Iwillnevertell
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:35 AM
this! but we still have some friends of the opposite sex, its not a big deal.


Quoting Anonymous:

I was willing to sacrifice friendships with the opposite sex for my husband and I don't regret it. If your best friend thought a friendship with the opposite sex would cause strain on his marriage, he would not hesitate to drop you. He didn't make vows to you but he did to her

LiesLiesLies
by Platinum Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:36 AM
1 mom liked this
Or they could talk to their mom, aunt, sister, best friends wife, cousin, therapist, guy friend, brother, dad, pastor etc.

No man has to talk to a random female to figure out his relationship! Lol!


Quoting Anonymous:

I see that side. But I've had my male friend come to me for advice about his girlfriend because he didn't know what to do. I simply told him you can either choose to work things out and overlook the negative or you can choose to leave. Personally I would rather my so to talk to a female friend then some random female.




Quoting Kerannmer:

I think it's fine to be friends with a married man. I have lots of married man-friends, and my husband has married-women friends. We also have single friends of the opposite sex. But...it's an issue when said friend starts confiding in you about wanting to leave his wife, he doesn't love her, etc...it's time to remind him of the boundries or back away.



TableforSeven
by Ruby Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this

DH and I don't have close friendships with members of the opposite sex (except for each other) out of respect for our marriage.  It has NOTHING to do with being insecure.  We are both 100% secure in our marriage and know that the other will never cheat.  But we feel is is disrespectful of our marriage and each other to become very close with another person of the opposite gender.  Yes, part of the reason is for appearance-sake....if I am never out alone with another man and DH never goes to coffee with another woman, then no one can ever get the wrong impression about us as a couple and our loyalty to each other.  But - mostly - it is because we can, and do, share everything with each other.  If I need a male pov on something....I ask my DH - and vice versa.

TableforSeven
by Ruby Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:58 AM

Would be better if he talked to HER about it, instead if you.  They need to work their problems out, not get outsiders' advice.  (Just my opinion).

Quoting Anonymous:

I see that side. But I've had my male friend come to me for advice about his girlfriend because he didn't know what to do. I simply told him you can either choose to work things out and overlook the negative or you can choose to leave. Personally I would rather my so to talk to a female friend then some random female.


Quoting Kerannmer:

I think it's fine to be friends with a married man. I have lots of married man-friends, and my husband has married-women friends. We also have single friends of the opposite sex. But...it's an issue when said friend starts confiding in you about wanting to leave his wife, he doesn't love her, etc...it's time to remind him of the boundries or back away.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 15, 2013 at 1:03 AM

It might work for some but in our house the "friends" are either too clingy,overstep their friend boundaries or still carry some kind of lust.

So no-it has nothing to do with insecurity. If a woman can respect their male friend is married. Fine-cool. But most get possessive and pull the "I knew him first" mentality.

And men shouldn't be asking other women bout their women if they're married. They should either address their ladies directly or go talk to some male friends in long term,committed relationships.

AlwaysKISA
by Ruby Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 1:05 AM
I've never had much desire to be friends with any man lol. So I can't answer that question.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hotmama88
by Bronze Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 1:18 AM

She sounds like a total bitch and she does it to get on your nerves. I would be mad at my husband if he hasn't checked her about saying things like that. Have female friends all you want but don't allow them to disrespect me like that kwim?


Personally, I have married male friends and there's nothing to it. We were friends before they got married, it's never been anything more than pleutonic, sort of brother-sister relationship if anything. One of them does talk to me about his marriage, and the advice I give him is to do as much as he can to stay with her. I don't want to see any of my friends in a failed relationship if the person isn't doing anything extreme. 

My man has female friends he knew before we got together. The problem I with opposite sex friendships is new people. If you've been friends with someone all of your life okay, but I find it inappropriate to get that close to some female you have recently met. Idk if that's contradictory, but it's like what reason do you have to let this new woman in and what is her agenda. Insecure? Sometimes I can be for various reasons but it's partly about not trusting other women.


Quoting jenerica.:

I get it.  Sometimes women are bitches.  One of my hubby's best friends is a woman.  They have been friends for over 20 years.  And even after all these years, she STILL makes comments like she knows him better than I do.  She STILL says shit about his preferences, like big boobs and that kind of shit, when I have A's.  It can be infuriating.  SOME women can't take that kind of shit from their hubby's girl-friends.  Lucky for my husband, I'm not SOME women.  :)  But like I said, I get it....even though I choose to overlook it.



Irenesmommy
by Gold Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 1:25 AM

in my experience it's just a natural progression, boy is friends with girl, boy doesn't want to eff said girl, boy meets girlfriend, girlfriend assumes boy wants to eff said girl, boy ends a lifelong friendship to please girlfriend. I see it everyday on cm, insecurities about another "female" in their husband's lives. 

reaandiziesmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 1:30 AM
1 mom liked this

One of my VERY best friends is a man. He comes by daily. Has walked in on me getting out of the shower. He doesn't knock. I don't want him too, he is welcome here any time. SO is fine with it. BF's so is fine with it. He and I love each other very much. Would do ANYTHING for each other, but there is NO attraction there. He is like my brother. I don't get over paranoid women in this regard. It must be horrible to be with someone who doesn't trust you 1000% and you the same. It's not about the other person. It's about your so and your trust in them

reaandiziesmama
by Platinum Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 1:32 AM

Why? I don't understand. Because he is a man he can not talk to you about his feelings and issues? I don't get that. At all.

Quoting Kerannmer:

I think it's fine to be friends with a married man. I have lots of married man-friends, and my husband has married-women friends. We also have single friends of the opposite sex. But...it's an issue when said friend starts confiding in you about wanting to leave his wife, he doesn't love her, etc...it's time to remind him of the boundries or back away.


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