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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why do you women think other women can't be friends with married men?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Is it because of insecurities? Or what? If my best guy friend got married I don't think we shouldn't be friends because of that.

Most of you women won't admit you are insecure about your husbands being friends with females and its really sad.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 14, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:16 AM
I think it is crazy that you would think a friendship would be more important than marriage. Like i said, you make vows to your husband not your best friend.

Quoting Anonymous:

I think its crazy to sacrifice a friendship for your husband. Your husband knew about the friendship before marriage.




Quoting Anonymous:

I was willing to sacrifice friendships with the opposite sex for my husband and I don't regret it. If your best friend thought a friendship with the opposite sex would cause strain on his marriage, he would not hesitate to drop you. He didn't make vows to you but he did to her

BCauseImAwesome
by Gold Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:18 AM

 I think thats silly. Whats the point in being friends with someone if you cant confide in them about serious things?? My best friend is contemplating divorce right now and we talk about it whenever he wants to. My  husband knows. We dont see that as crossing a line.


Quoting Kerannmer:

I think it's fine to be friends with a married man. I have lots of married man-friends, and my husband has married-women friends. We also have single friends of the opposite sex. But...it's an issue when said friend starts confiding in you about wanting to leave his wife, he doesn't love her, etc...it's time to remind him of the boundries or back away.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:18 AM
But to just drop someone because your husband doesn't like you being friends with them is insane. It should have been brought up and discussed before marriage and a compromise could have been made.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think it is crazy that you would think a friendship would be more important than marriage. Like i said, you make vows to your husband not your best friend.



Quoting Anonymous:

I think its crazy to sacrifice a friendship for your husband. Your husband knew about the friendship before marriage.






Quoting Anonymous:

I was willing to sacrifice friendships with the opposite sex for my husband and I don't regret it. If your best friend thought a friendship with the opposite sex would cause strain on his marriage, he would not hesitate to drop you. He didn't make vows to you but he did to her


estrada_m0mmy
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:19 AM
Idk. My DH has an unmarried best friend. She was his best friend bedore I even met him and continued to be during our dating days and now that we are married I don't see the reason to change that. However, I too have an unmarried male best friend who I too was best friends with before meting DH.
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BCauseImAwesome
by Gold Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:20 AM

 But who do you talk to about your husband?


Quoting TableforSeven:

DH and I don't have close friendships with members of the opposite sex (except for each other) out of respect for our marriage.  It has NOTHING to do with being insecure.  We are both 100% secure in our marriage and know that the other will never cheat.  But we feel is is disrespectful of our marriage and each other to become very close with another person of the opposite gender.  Yes, part of the reason is for appearance-sake....if I am never out alone with another man and DH never goes to coffee with another woman, then no one can ever get the wrong impression about us as a couple and our loyalty to each other.  But - mostly - it is because we can, and do, share everything with each other.  If I need a male pov on something....I ask my DH - and vice versa.


 

smurfbitebug
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:21 AM
Are you talking about the chick that was giving actual good advice to that married dude?
I think she makes a great friend. Not only to him, because she tells him what he needs to hear rather than what he wants to hear, but to the family as well.
We would get along just fine. Not if she was hidden from me, I'm sure. That would be pretty bumpy, but not her doing really. But otherwise, that's a valuable friendship, and it should be treated as such.
BCauseImAwesome
by Gold Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:22 AM

 I completely agree with you here. I have a very close friend like this.


Quoting reaandiziesmama:

Why? I don't understand. Because he is a man he can not talk to you about his feelings and issues? I don't get that. At all.

Quoting Kerannmer:

I think it's fine to be friends with a married man. I have lots of married man-friends, and my husband has married-women friends. We also have single friends of the opposite sex. But...it's an issue when said friend starts confiding in you about wanting to leave his wife, he doesn't love her, etc...it's time to remind him of the boundries or back away.



 

Jlynn8710
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Exactly!!!


Quoting LiesLiesLies:

Insecurity on my part? No.



I just think it opens way too many doors. I have been hit on and far worse by married "friends". I just don't want to put myself in that situation anymore...because no matter what *I* will be the bad guy. It's easier for women to accept it that way.



Can they be Facebook friends? Couple friends? Get together as group friends? Sure. Can they be private dinners, movies, frequent texting friends? No. Not in my opinion.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Yes.


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Are you talking about the chick that was giving actual good advice to that married dude?

I think she makes a great friend. Not only to him, because she tells him what he needs to hear rather than what he wants to hear, but to the family as well.

We would get along just fine. Not if she was hidden from me, I'm sure. That would be pretty bumpy, but not her doing really. But otherwise, that's a valuable friendship, and it should be treated as such.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:24 AM
This.

Friendships are fine as long as appropriate boundaries are set. People don't realize how easily a friendship can turn into more in a weak moment until it happens to them. Keep them at arms length and you will never have that problem.


Quoting Apollos82:

I don't think the friendships are wrong, but often the boundaries or parameters are not appropriate so as to be respectful of the spouse and the marriage. People don't have good, healthy boundaries these days...

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