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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is this marriage worth saving in your opinion?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you give this marriage another chance? (Questions welcome :-) )

Options:

Yes

No


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 67

View Results

I am currently seperated and confused. I left because he became physically abusive when I started talking to another guy. He hasn't tried to find anyone else and has no other issues. Normally he fully supports us, is very helpful with the kids and house and is generous. He is seeking counseling/willing to attend couples counseling. I admit what I did was unacceptable, he was on the road a lot and I talked to a guy in another state that challenge me intellectually and it turned romantic. Things never turned physical with the other guy and I no longer talk to him.

DH and I had sex very often, but there is really no intimacy on his part. He will not slow things down, he goes at me real hard everytime and even kisses fast/hard like he is mad. He puts a lot of effort into doing fun things with our three small children, but he rarely shows them any physical affection.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PandTsmomjuly
by Florence on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:34 AM
2 moms liked this

 Kinda iffy. The abuse made me want to say no right off the bat until I read that you cheated first. Doesn't make it right but you also stated he hadn't done it before.

smalltownmom03
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:35 AM
1 mom liked this
I only had to read the first sentence to say no.
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MomOf3AngelBabe
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:37 AM

Oh this is tough. Physical abuse should normally be a 'deal breaker'.

Princess_s21
by Sarah on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:37 AM

 Well, abuse is my deal breaker, so my first thought is no.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:37 AM
Bump
handy0318
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:38 AM
1 mom liked this

I voted yes, because there are children involved and it sounds as if he's a good dad and even husband, except the the sex and intimacy part AND because he is willing to attend couples counseling.

It sounds as if overall, you have a good home, but with a serious issue that both of you acknowledge and are willing to work on. 

Things just aren't to the point of breaking up your children's home yet. 

EDIT see post 9 for a clarification...


krissy920
by Gold Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:42 AM
2 moms liked this

he got physical after you  had an affair.. if i were him id leave you honestly .. i couldn't be with someone or look at someone that pushed me to the point where id hurt them i was so upset. Physical abuse is never right and for him to  be that upset with you  would harm you says you ahve scarred him. Usually once you cross that line  you can never go back.

handy0318
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:42 AM
2 moms liked this

After re-reading this... I want to clarify...

When I read the whole post, I more or less understood "he became physically abusive when I started talking to another guy." as a one time thing brought about by hurt and frustration over your emotional affair. Not making excuses for him, but if it was just the one time and because of the one issue, then there might be some hope, especially since he's willing to go to counseling.

If it's been ongoing... no... definitely not.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:43 AM
Quoting Akiyasmommy1:

Are you happy? Are you scared of him?


I'm not happy alone. He takes the kids on the weekendsand I just want to jump van with him. No I don't fear him. He only lashed out at me when I rubbed the other guy in his face and pushed him to the edge listing all the ways that he wasn't good enough for me.
lovelife350
by Platinum Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 4:46 AM

physical abuse is a deal breaker, no i wouldn't give this marriage another chance, you talked to another guy that never turned physical and your husband hit you for it.  what happenes if one of your children does something he doesn't like and he decides to hit them too,  it could only take a second, we date/ marry what we think we deserve. you deserve better then him

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