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Wasn't it easier to be "poor?"

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
When my husband and I were first married we lived in a trailer. Our rent was like $250 a month. We had a car that we shared and paid about $1000 in all for. We didn't have Internet, iPhones or even cable. We watched movies. Back then we were relaxed and happy. I had no worried! Now I feel like life has overwhelmed me and even though we are "well off" now sometimes I want to go back to the simple life. Sometimes I had to dig change under the seat just to buy milk but we were soo happy. We had so much fun.

Those telling me to just go back to that. I would if it was just me but its not all about me. My husband wants the lifestyle we have and he's worked hard for it so its selfish of me to force my wants in the entire family
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:05 AM
Replies (231-233):
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 10:12 PM

I kind of agree with you. Dh works construction and our winters when he's laid off and things are tight on unemployment are so much smoother and happier then when he's making mad money because our biggest arguments are always financial. And midargument he usually starts yelling that maybe he should just quit his job because he'd rather be poor and happy then argue all the time.

by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 1:39 AM
Congratulations on your son graduating!! A great saying is that people don't have expiration dates! What an inspiration you must be to your children and to those around you for not giving up when you heard the diagnosis. You sound like a wonderful Mama and I'm sure your sons feel so lucky to have a true inspiration as their Mother.

We always want to provide the most for our children, but some of the greatest success stories are from those who started with next to nothing and just had the heart and the drive to better their lives and the lives of those around them. The tougher our lives are, the greater our success story can be. Your life story could happen to anyone! It's how you deal with it that sets you apart. You are already a success. Two wonderful sons who will probably never look down on people less fortunate or be judgemental. And you showed your doctors that you wouldn't give in to their prognosis because you chose to fight.

Thank you for putting a post like this into the right perspective. We can complain about our lives getting more complicated as we earn more money to buy more things, such as houses, cars, vacations, etc. Essentially you're just buying more debt too! But people need meaning in their lives. We need something to live for, otherwise what is the point? When we lose sight of that meaning, we become depressed, lonely, confused and disillusioned. Money can become a distraction from our purpose. It's not the money that creates happiness or gives us meaning. It's fulfilling our purpose that brings satisfaction to our lives.

Currently my purpose is to raise my children the best that I can! Growing up I never knew we were poor because we always had fun together. That's what I remember most and I hope that's what my children remember too.

I will keep your story close to my heart, knowing that life and luck can change on a dime! Instead of wishing things were better, I will appreciate each day as it is and be grateful to have another day to love my family.

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Quoting MomtasticX2:

I'm sorry you have been through so much. What an @$$ that teacher was!! And I hope your condition is at least improving. I pray for good things to come to you! And I wish you much happiness. Your story made me so sad because no matter how tough things are, they can always get worse! That is exactly why we need to find happiness in each moment and appreciate what we have, not just yearn for what we don't. Losing your health, wealth, and your husband must've been tragic yet you certainly don't sound defeated! Overcoming obstacles and hurdles are what makes us strong, builds character, makes us wiser and allows us to feel gratitude for all the "little" things in life which are actually the most important things!

I have 100 times more respect for someone who has been through more than their share of life's lessons than someone who has lived a comfortable and sheltered life and doesn't know true empathy. The difference is huge!

I was asked a long time ago if I could change anything from my past, what would it be. I said nothing. Because who knows who I would be without my hardest struggles! But probably not as strong, independent and grateful as I am now.

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It is harder now to live on the fringe where you are not poor enough to qualify for fs and housing, but are too poor to make ends meet than it was 15 or so years ago.

I have the opposite. When I was first married, we both had jobs and we were able to have kids, buy a house, go on vacations. I was diagnosed with a serious, life threatening condition and had to go on disability. I divorced my husband for a variety of reasons and initially, things were not that hard. However, now we are expected to have internet if the kids are in school. The library limits use to 1 hour a day and if the kid is in an after school activity, the library is out because it closes at 6. It was not that uncommon to have only a house phone or no phone at all. Now, it is basically a necessity. The area in our city that had lower rents now rent the same houses for $1000 or more a month. The cost of everything has skyrocketed, yet my income has not gone up because long term disability rates do not increase at all. Even the income I had fresh out of college in my first professional job in 1984 is more than I have now. I would love to go back to the income I had in to.

I think it is harder for poor kids than ever before. My kids attended a high school where a large percentage of the kids drove nice, new cars. They had more money than needed and the teachers planned trips that were out of range for the lower income kids.  We were told in one meeting that our kids were to go to Austria and payments of $300 a month had to start being paid in 2 weekis. There was no way I could do that and there was no way to raise the amount of money needed for the trip in the limited time frame. The teacher told me that if I wanted my kid to go, I could come up with the $2500 plus meals and spending money plus passport for my kid. He said "anyone" could afford that amount.

Thank you very much. It has been up and down. I have outlived the initial prognosis I was given and have lived long enough to see both of my sons reach adulthood. My younger son, 20, will graduate on Tuesday with his first college degree...something I never thought I would live to see. Life was certainly harder for my kids than I ever wanted them to be, but they are both strong young men with empathy. Thank you again for your kind words.

by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 9:10 PM

I agree with the sentiment.  A more simple life has its advantages.  Maybe you could pare down, like cancle your cable, not schedule so many activities for your family, and get back to just being like you were then?

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