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Wasn't it easier to be "poor?"

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
When my husband and I were first married we lived in a trailer. Our rent was like $250 a month. We had a car that we shared and paid about $1000 in all for. We didn't have Internet, iPhones or even cable. We watched movies. Back then we were relaxed and happy. I had no worried! Now I feel like life has overwhelmed me and even though we are "well off" now sometimes I want to go back to the simple life. Sometimes I had to dig change under the seat just to buy milk but we were soo happy. We had so much fun.

Those telling me to just go back to that. I would if it was just me but its not all about me. My husband wants the lifestyle we have and he's worked hard for it so its selfish of me to force my wants in the entire family
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:05 AM
Replies (91-100):
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:02 PM

I know what you mean! It's not really that you want to be poor but you were very happy in that time frame even if you had to scrape up change to buy necessities. We've been there. It stressed me out not always having enough money, but we didn't have the car payment or huge rent payment that we have now.

I've found some ways to simplify life--things like we don't have cable. We do have netflix but I find it encourages us to actually spend time together doing things besides just watching TV. I've set up goals for other things. For instance we're planning a trip to California next summer and want to take the kids to Disneyland. We're not well off right now, but definitely more well off than we were when DH and I first got together. We still have to budget everything. So after we finished off a gallon of milk I washed it out really well and now whenever DH and I have coin change we get the kids together and they drop it into the milk jug. When it's full we'll take it to the bank and cash it in and that will be spending money for our trip, if it's still a while before our trip, I won't cash it in, but we'll just start another jug and then cash everything in before the trip. Doing little things like this makes it fun for everyone and helps our kids realize that if they want to have spending money on the trip we should reduce what we spend money on now. Instead of going for ice cream they'll say "Let's put the money in the jug" and it also keeps them excited about a trip that isn't going to happen for 10 more months.

by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:13 PM

No I wouldn't.  I have so many wonderful memories of our first years happily married, but really poor.  We ate so many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the park, read so many books together and went on so many walks just talking and laughing together.  We didn't have tv, internet, cell phones, or anything like those but we were really happy.

We are still really happy, if not more so I can't see why I would want to go back.  We still go on walks, but now we can walk into the shops we talk about wanting to explore and actually get the things we like, we can walk into the cafe's and restaurants we have never been to and actually afford to eat there.  We still read, but not each other since we're both busy now, we read the same books and pass them back and forth and then spend time talking about what we've read.  We watch the same shows and movies together, and we play games together, so basically we're still doing things together and are just as close, but we have more funds to do more or enhance what we want to do.

I don't believe money creates happiness, that is done through people and their choices and actions, but having money does offer a nice stress relief to be able to provide the things in life that are necessary.

by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:13 PM
We're still poor but we are agreed that as we become better off we will still strive to keep our current standard of living. Lifestyle creep can make the richest person feel poor. We would rather save for trips and experiences while living frugally than living lavishly.

We don't have Internet except on our phones and we don't have cable or a car payment. To be honest, the money spent on interest for a car loan is just wasteful. Better to save up while driving a clunker and buy outright. It saves interest and you'll get a better price paying cash.
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:14 PM

Do you have enough money for the things you mentioned?  How often is your husband there?  

That would be really sad and stressful if your family is sacrificing time with your husband just so you can pay for 'things' .  And, you mentioned that it would be 'selfish' for you to go back to the way things used to be, because your husband wants the lifestyle you have now.  Yet, it isn't selfish for your husband to work so hard for that lifestyle that only HE wants?  Especially if he is not around much?  Maybe there is a middle ground? 

Quoting Anonymous:

I wasn't really worried. I didn't care that I was digging in the couch. That's not really a worry compared to taxes, retirement, college funds, paying a shit ton of bills not to mention my husband isn't around all the time like he used to be.

Quoting one_on_the_way:

You had to dig change under the seat just to buy milk, but you had "no worries"?  

What worries do you have now that are so overwhelming?  I'm genuinely curious.  

by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:33 PM

We have been feeling the same way, my DH and I.   Back when we lived in a trailer and were "poorer"... my kids actually asked me one time, "Mom, are we wealthy?   We feel wealthy."   Now?  They feel like we are poor...  I don't get it.


by Anonymous 20 on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:34 PM

I feel the EXACT same way! Although we are not well off by any means, as DH's pay has went up, so has his desire for a typical american lifestyle (which means a house payment, car payment, atv payment, higher utilities, buying things he wants,  it sucks!) . I miss the days we lived in a little mobile home and our rent + utilities was under $450 a month!  Our house payment alone is $600 now : /   DH is not willing to compromise anything though. Things are SO tight because when we got our car I told him we would have to cut back (internet and tv) which we used to live without!!! BUT once we got the car he refused so now we are racking up credit card debt and he wont stop using his credit card (I purposly lost mine, no idea where its at and no desire to find it).!!!

by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:45 PM

start with little cut backs. Im poor, not a in a trailer, but we dont have cable and dh and I share a flip phone and stuff. While we tend to definitely have more quality time it would be nice.. really really nice to not worry about food or making rent. Try to appreciate what your do have. 

by Anonymous 21 on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:51 PM
I don't understand. If you are well off then what are so worried about in the first place? I am not trying to be rude, but if you can truly afford your lifestyle then you should be just as relaxed as you were back then.
by Anonymous 22 on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:56 PM

I feel the same way.   I am sick of having it all.  My dad now lives in a tiny trailer.  He is living off his social security while his retirement fund grows and grows.  He is soooooo  happy.   It's a golf resort rv he lives at. 

I just want to get out of living like i am and go live in a lttle hole in the wall.  If it were just me, I would.  But hubby still wants it all. 

by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 2:04 PM

Yup I get you OP.  There are times I miss my little travel trailer we lived so happily in. 

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