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Need some real advice for a dear friend!

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:05 AM
  • 22 Replies
I know my thoughts on this, but before I tell her what I think I want to get some advice on how to handle the conversation!

She has 3 kids, all under age 8. She went to help her sister move and came home to her husband at a neighbors and her kids were left alone and the door was left open. They live in a really bad neighborhood.

She is at a loss at what to do. She said that its happend before and she's just finding out about it from her 8 year old. Me personally, I think its a stupid decision on the fathers part and if its happened before it most likely won't stop.

She said that he acted as if it wasn't a big deal. I think it is, anything could happen. Prime example, not even a week ago a mom was putting something in her car, turned around for a minute and Ger 4 year old was gone. He was found in the river.

All it takes is one second. Anyway what are your thoughts?
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KymberleeAnn
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:08 AM

Wow!

flcowgrl23
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this
I would be pissed. I make sure my children are all secure and supervised at all times.
KymberleeAnn
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:11 AM

I personally feel that the mother was being very irresponsible with her children, why not close the door? Being that you know you live in a bad neighborhood. The child that fell or was found in the river what happened to him? Is he okay?

KymberleeAnn
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Exactly, I never let my children out of my sight, I'm on top of my children they I are too precious for careless parenting.

Quoting flcowgrl23:

I would be pissed. I make sure my children are all secure and supervised at all times.


bettymoreno03
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:14 AM
She trusted her husband. He wasn't supposed to leave the house. If you can't trust your husband who can you trust. No the little boy was found dead. It's a very sad situation.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:15 AM

I stayed home on my own with an unlocked door all the time at 6yrs old and over. I see nothing wrong with it; just tell her to teach the kids not to wander; they cannot be watched every single microsecond

bettymoreno03
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Her youngest is two. Yeah I have kids myself and I dont leave them home alone. The point is, the father was irresponsible by leaving his children at home alone.
shudderette
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:21 AM

Well, it's not a big enough deal for her to divorce her husband. Seems like there's a lot of that going around today. But, yeah, it's a big deal. What she needs to say to her husband is that while he might not think it's a big deal, she does, and so out of respect for her he should make sure not to leave the kids alone.

Sometimes that's just what men need to hear. I need you to do this FOR ME. It's important TO ME. Please respect me. It'll make me feel better to know that our kids are safe and it's your job as their father to protect them. Plus, it's really hot when my husband shows that he can protect our family. It makes me feel safe and secure and happy and loved. 

davnrori
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:26 AM

 No one can keep an eye on their children every second of every day. An accident can happen while a parent is taking a shower or going to the bathroom. It is not possible to be prepared for everything bad that could happen. A parent could be driving to the store and get into a terrible accident with the kids in the car, does that mean they shouldn't take the kids anywhere? The best course of action is to teach kids what to do in the event of an emergency. Make sure they know how to call 911, that they know their address, phone number, and their parents first and last names. An 8yr old is more than old enough to know those things.

Was it responsible for the dad to leave the kids at home alone? No. But a wife knows her DH and your friend knows what kind of man she married. She left the kids home alone with him so she also bears responsibility. The most she can or should do is have a conversation with her DH about leaving the kids alone. If she feels it is a big deal then she needs to tell him that and give her reasons. This is not an issue that she should leave him over or start a huge, marriage fracturing argument over.

bettymoreno03
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:29 AM
Thank you. I agree she shouldn't just divorce him but it is a very big deal to leave the kids alone. Especially since her youngest is 2.

I know the neighborhood where they are at and its horrible. They are trying to sell the house and move but funds are short for them right now due to the husband losing his Job.

It is a crappy situation. My advice for her was to first talk to her kids about the situation and then talk to her husband.



Quoting shudderette:

Well, it's not a big enough deal for her to divorce her husband. Seems like there's a lot of that going around today. But, yeah, it's a big deal. What she needs to say to her husband is that while he might not think it's a big deal, she does, and so out of respect for her he should make sure not to leave the kids alone.

Sometimes that's just what men need to hear. I need you to do this FOR ME. It's important TO ME. Please respect me. It'll make me feel better to know that our kids are safe and it's your job as their father to protect them. Plus, it's really hot when my husband shows that he can protect our family. It makes me feel safe and secure and happy and loved. 


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