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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Joint custody & arrangements .

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:40 PM
  • 14 Replies
1 mom liked this
So I'm newly divorced .
My ex husband and I have DD who's 10 months.

He has her Wednesday & Thursday
& gives me CS $$ every 2 weeks .
He's there if I need him & in every appoiments she has ( doctor , daycare , ect )
We get along thank heaven .....
Oh , and this wasn't dictated by a court is out mutual arrangement . 3 months so far and doing okay ,
How is it with you ?
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:48 PM
Is it written and you both signed it???
I'm w my daughters father. But my husband has a son from a previous relationship.
shortycmlb
by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:50 PM

Don't need one thank god.

My parents (dad, anyways...) was amazing. Dad paid mom every month, on time (all $950!), paid my medical ins plus 1/2 copays, clothes and extracurriculars. Visited me 300 miles away almost 30x in one year, nearly every weekend! Flew me out when I got older.


I see my friends and the worthless men they chose and I think to myself and tell my mom damn, you got lucky.

_abeauty92
by Silver Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 2:53 AM
No , just. Word agreement .
He's a good man , I trust him .
Our marriage just didn't work out .
We got married very young and grew to be wet different adults , to the point were we just were not compatible anymore .


Quoting Anonymous:

Is it written and you both signed it???

I'm w my daughters father. But my husband has a son from a previous relationship.

SexyTeacher
by Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:00 AM

My ex and I separated when dd was 6 and were divorced when she was 7. Ever since then it has been 50/50. One week with me, one week with him........No child support paid by either parent. For 2 years she lived FT with him and visited me. I lived in another state. He didn't ask for support although he could have easily gotten it. She is 15 now and the arrangement is still the same. We worked out the arrangement oursleves, typed it up, made copies, had them all notarized and presented it to the judge when our divorce was finalized. It has worked for us!!

HumanBeing
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:06 AM
Ex and I have never had a court arrangement. We broke up when ds was 2 months old and ds is currently 9 yrs old.

First 3 years: we rotated weeks. No cs. Sometimes we both made it to appointments and sometimes we didn't.

When ds was 3 ex joined army. I had ds full time but he went for 1 overnight and 2 evenings a week to paternal grandmas. When ex was in town he took ds when he wanted and my dh and I handled all the hands on parebting. Ex gave me 200 a month in cs.

When ds was like 6 yrs old ex was not active in army. He moved back but then my dh and I moved 45 minutes away. Ex got ds eow.

Where we moved to was not suitable for ds's scholastic needs. However it's much safer neighborhood and the school meets the needs of my 2 youngest. So after 18 ish months ds moved back with ex.

I now have ds eow and sometimes extra weekends but pay no monetary cs. My dh and I however provide all the health insurance and any related costs. We purchase all clothing and school items and I ask ex every month if he needs anything else.

So our current arrangement has been since the July before last. Ds just started 4 th grade but when he finishes grade school either dh and I will try to move closer, ds will come live here or we will keep things the same.

We are really relaxed about most things. We have had parental disagreements but it's all typical stuff that any parents in a relationship would argue about. Never has a holiday been an issue. We have had a surprisingly easy coparenting situation from what I've seen from others situations.
tardistraveller
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:09 AM

My custody arrangement is, no access whatsoever.  No parental rights. No child support (he is ineligable). 

We used to have a different arrangements, but the past year this has been in place.


GrinningCheese
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:24 AM
I never had that problem but my sister had a unique arrangement. Her ex got the kids half of every week and all weekend every other weekend. They went to the same school either way and each parent bought clothes for their house. Mom would send them to school in one uniform and they brought it or another one home with them. If it was a short week they just stayed in their uniform or dad made sure to send one along.
WinterIsComing
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:35 AM
Honestly. Sit down together write it out and sign it. Just in case. Things may never go wrong, but if they do you want both of your rear ends covered.
I've seen too many bad situations happen and shit hit the fan.

Glad things are running smoothly. It's always good for the child involved when both parents can be mature is these types of situations. :-)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 4:42 AM
Dh and I have been separated for close to 3 years. We have no formal cs or custody/visitation order. My ex has access to his children ANY time he wishes. The kids are 15 and 11 and the oldest has a phone so whenever he wants to see them he calls or texts her. He sees them practically every day. He gives me VOLUNTARILY a very large amount of cash for the kids. In addition to the cash payment, he pays the car ins, the cell phone bill for me and the kids, and will often help me out if I get in a bind. For instance, since he moved out, he has bought me a brand new car, a washer, and several other big purchases. I still do his laundry, he drops it off and picks it up and I sometimes still cook for him since he rents a room and doesn't have a stove. He's an excellent dad but we just couldn't be married to each other.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:05 AM
Oh I understand that I didn't mean it negatively against either of you just more or less to protect both of you


My dh (like I said) has a child from another relationship and they had an agreement Between the 2 of them and even child support (which the agreed amount was very close to c/o one now) but she met her husband and thankfully my dh was smart enough to go to court to get it a court order and would you believe she fought it although the agreement was exactly the same as the verbal one they had and followed for 2 years.
The weekend after he got the c/o. She tried to say she wasn't going to bring him for his visit....smh

Needless to say that is where my hesitation comes in w nothing in writing.
But you 2 know each other better then anyone.

Quoting _abeauty92:

No , just. Word agreement .

He's a good man , I trust him .

Our marriage just didn't work out .

We got married very young and grew to be wet different adults , to the point were we just were not compatible anymore .




Quoting Anonymous:

Is it written and you both signed it???


I'm w my daughters father. But my husband has a son from a previous relationship.

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