We had an argument because he wants to send MORE money to his children than what we already have this month. They are 16 and 18 and live with their mother several states away. The 18 year old starts college this month. Though not court ordered, we pay for all their needs beyond food and shelter (summer camps, prom dresses, car insurance, dental, health premiums, school lunches, gas for their cars, allowance money, all electronics & accessories, back to school clothing and supplies, etc.) in addition to many of the oldest's college expenses. It's never enough. No matter what we give them, he always wants to give more. It's to the point we have very little savings, are no longer contributing what we used to for retirement, and have nearly 10K in credit card debt just so we can send every extra penny their way.
I made the statement that he had "failed." I honestly can't even remember what it was I said he failed at. But it was one specific thing and instead he left crying saying it was nice going off to work having been told he was a failure. I feel horrible but stand by my argument that we need to take care of our own financial needs instead of him being the absent Disneyland dad who gives them money whenever they cry "Daaaaadddddyyyyyyy!"
EDITED TO ADD:
We just handed the oldest $14,000.00 in June for college. This money is now sitting in an account ready to be accessed by her as needed. Neither she nor the youngest has ASKED for any money lately. DH just wants to arbitrarily send it, which is what we had the argument about. We need to be applying money toward our debt instead of sending it for no reason.