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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Oh childless friends of mine, I laugh at you. EDIT

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 331 Replies
8 moms liked this

I love my friend dearly..we've been close since middle school. She is not married nor does she have kids, while I've been married 8 years and have 3 kids.

She has NO CLUE what it's like. Every time I post something about "Oh I'd love to have this" (ie: a candle or purse I saw on my facebook feed) she says "so get it?" and today I posted a status about how I'd love to have a pedicure because my feet are killing me. She says "maybe you shouldn't buy the kids their dance clothes and go get yourself a pedicure instead". No? I'm not selfish. My kids have been looking forward to this dance and I promised them new dresses and shoes for it. I'm not taking that money away from my kids to spend on myself that is uncalled for. I told her that the clothes were more important and she replies with "sad...it must be a mother thing, I don't understand why you never do anything for yourself". I replied with "you'll see one day".

And honestly I can't wait for that day to come. She'll see and it will be a huge wake up call.

Edit:

It seems that it's unheard of for a woman to sacrfice herself for her family and that my DH is getting the blame. DH is very tight when it comes to money but if I needed something he wouldn't tell me no. I just don't ask. I buy what household supplies we need and whatever he or the kids need. I pay the bills and buy the groceries. He hardly ever looks at the bank account. I know how much money we have and I know I don't want to spend it on myself when there is so much I want for my family.  

DH is not an asshole, in fact he's bringing home dinner right now because he asked how I was feeling and said "down and tired". He's done this a lot lately because this pregnancy has been rough so it saves me from having to cook anything.

I choose to not buy things for myself or do things. I chose to be the sole care-giver to my family and only my family. My wants are not important and really most of my "needs" I could do without. 

As long as my family is happy, I'm happy. I don't need anything for myself.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nerdymom28
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:25 PM
23 moms liked this

 Yeah, it's a rude awakening for all of us. You never know what parenthood is like until you're in it too deep to get back out. lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:26 PM
12 moms liked this
She is right kinda you should do something for yourself once in a while.
anotherhalf
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:27 PM

I know just how you feel.  My childless sister is always buying such cute clothes that I "have" to get too.  But its on sale 30% off!!!!!!  Its still a lot of money. lol!  They just can't get it.

Seagodess
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:27 PM
2 moms liked this

Sorry, but I agree with your friend. Its important for parents to do something for themselves once in a while. You dont need to take away from your kids to do that. Pedicures only cost like $20-30. Save a few extra dollars here and there and go do something for yourself once in a while. Its not selfish.

B1Bomber
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this

That's not a mother thing. I do stuff for myself. If money was so tight I couldn't afford a pedicure, my kids wouldn't be getting new dresses and shoes for a dance (unless it was high school prom). Not because I would rather have the pedicure, but because I want them to learn fiscal responsibility too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:27 PM
5 moms liked this
While I understand taking care of the kids, you should take care of yourself too.
sunrisekn
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this

She will see. I did have my son until I was 35, so I had lots of years of doing for me. It was a wake up call to have priorities other than myself, but I wouldn't change it for the world! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:28 PM

No, I shouldn't. My family is more important. I've gone this entire pregnancy with no maternity clothes, wearing DH's shirts and just not buttoning my pants. One pair of shoes, flip flops that have about seen their last day. I don't ever do anything for myself because I am a mother and my needs and wants come last, and there is never anything left over for me to buy myself anything. I'm lucky I'm able to get deoderant and still feel guilty about that.

Quoting Anonymous:

She is right kinda you should do something for yourself once in a while.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this
You have to take care of yourself. My child's needs come before mine but I still find time to take care of myself and do things for me


Quoting Anonymous:

No, I shouldn't. My family is more important. I've gone this entire pregnancy with no maternity clothes, wearing DH's shirts and just not buttoning my pants. One pair of shoes, flip flops that have about seen their last day. I don't ever do anything for myself because I am a mother and my needs and wants come last, and there is never anything left over for me to buy myself anything. I'm lucky I'm able to get deoderant and still feel guilty about that.


Quoting Anonymous:

She is right kinda you should do something for yourself once in a while.





Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 3:30 PM
4 moms liked this

I don't understand why you don't do anything for yourself.

I budget 1 thing in a month for myself, just got a pedicure this weekend :)  Being a mom doesn't mean you have to stop doing things for yourself.

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