I love my friend dearly..we've been close since middle school. She is not married nor does she have kids, while I've been married 8 years and have 3 kids.
She has NO CLUE what it's like. Every time I post something about "Oh I'd love to have this" (ie: a candle or purse I saw on my facebook feed) she says "so get it?" and today I posted a status about how I'd love to have a pedicure because my feet are killing me. She says "maybe you shouldn't buy the kids their dance clothes and go get yourself a pedicure instead". No? I'm not selfish. My kids have been looking forward to this dance and I promised them new dresses and shoes for it. I'm not taking that money away from my kids to spend on myself that is uncalled for. I told her that the clothes were more important and she replies with "sad...it must be a mother thing, I don't understand why you never do anything for yourself". I replied with "you'll see one day".
And honestly I can't wait for that day to come. She'll see and it will be a huge wake up call.
It seems that it's unheard of for a woman to sacrfice herself for her family and that my DH is getting the blame. DH is very tight when it comes to money but if I needed something he wouldn't tell me no. I just don't ask. I buy what household supplies we need and whatever he or the kids need. I pay the bills and buy the groceries. He hardly ever looks at the bank account. I know how much money we have and I know I don't want to spend it on myself when there is so much I want for my family.
DH is not an asshole, in fact he's bringing home dinner right now because he asked how I was feeling and said "down and tired". He's done this a lot lately because this pregnancy has been rough so it saves me from having to cook anything.
I choose to not buy things for myself or do things. I chose to be the sole care-giver to my family and only my family. My wants are not important and really most of my "needs" I could do without.
As long as my family is happy, I'm happy. I don't need anything for myself.