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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

There needs to be something done about adoptive parents breaking an open adoption agreement.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

The only way it should be able to get changed is by all parties agreeing to it or court order. If the adoptive parents break the agreement they should be held in contempt of court and face penalties.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:15 PM
As an adoptive mother, choosing to close the adoption was the best thing for our child. After repeatedly trying to contact bio mom and her ignoring us, we were fed up with trying to chase her down. The last message I left her was telling her that we were closing the adoption but she could still contact us. This was 4 years ago and not a word from her. I've seen her on Facebook and Instagram. She doesn't care so why should my husband and I?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:15 PM
That doesn't always work! I had an open adoption ordered by the courts and have not even gotten a picture in over 5 years. Adoptive mom won't even let the sibling talk!


Quoting Anonymous:

I dont know about penalities. But i do agree that they should write an agreement up and take it to court. I think a lot more people would be open to going through with adoption if this was how it was.


Jscott1216
by Silver Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:15 PM
This! The health and well being being of the child come first. You signed away your rights and as much as it may be hurting you, you put them up for adoption for a reason. To give them a better life. Well if keeping in contact with you is upsetting them and in turn hurting their mental health then sorry but their needs come first.


Quoting Anonymous:

Parents are warned before placing their children that this is a possibility. the reason being that if the relationship isnt healthy the adoptive parents legally need to be allowed to do something to protect their families.


Wicked.Jester
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I disagree with her. I think open adoptions can be very confusing, unstable, and painful for children.  They are very difficult to pull off seamlessly.

Quoting silverdawn99:

really?

alot of people would disagree with this

Quoting Anonymous:

I believe and from experience open adoptions are much better for the kids.
Quoting silverdawn99:

i think there should be no open adoption

once you sign that dotted line its their child not yours




eztwins
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:16 PM
7 moms liked this
I don't agree with open adoptions. The adoptive parents are the parents they should be able to do whatever they want. I don't think bm should be able to interfere. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Here's my baby....I can't provide the best life so you can raise her but I'm going to keep popping up and create havoc on your life. When those papers are signed mom and dad are the parents and bm no longer is.
gypsy_rose
by Kandy on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I disagree. Adoptive parents need to be able to do what they feel is best for their child. (i was adopted)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:16 PM

 I have known and worked with many adoptions on both sides. I have seen closed adoption upset children but never open.


Quoting Jscott1216:

And what if it upset the child to still be in contact? Shouldn't the child's interests be out before your wants?


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm currently doing adoption and i as the bm would be extremely pissed if they didn't follow the open adoption that i choose


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:17 PM

 Have you tried to fight it? arent they technically going against the courts, in contempt or whatever?

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Quoting Anonymous:

That doesn't always work! I had an open adoption ordered by the courts and have not even gotten a picture in over 5 years. Adoptive mom won't even let the sibling talk!


Quoting Anonymous:

I dont know about penalities. But i do agree that they should write an agreement up and take it to court. I think a lot more people would be open to going through with adoption if this was how it was.



 

WrstMomever
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:17 PM
2 moms liked this

I dont agree.You gave up that right when you signed away your parental rights.yeah it sucks,but they have every right to do it.This is coming from a birth mother.

gypsy_rose
by Kandy on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:18 PM
My uncle was realy fucked up by his. He had realy bad issues.


Quoting Wicked.Jester:

I disagree with her. I think open adoptions can be very confusing, unstable, and painful for children.  They are very difficult to pull off seamlessly.

Quoting silverdawn99:

really?

alot of people would disagree with this

Quoting Anonymous:

I believe and from experience open adoptions are much better for the kids.


Quoting silverdawn99:

i think there should be no open adoption

once you sign that dotted line its their child not yours






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