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There needs to be something done about adoptive parents breaking an open adoption agreement.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

The only way it should be able to get changed is by all parties agreeing to it or court order. If the adoptive parents break the agreement they should be held in contempt of court and face penalties.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:18 PM
3 moms liked this

You shouldn't have to go to court to make a decision about what is in the best interest of your child.  This is why people go overseas to adopt. 


Quoting Anonymous:

 Read the whole OP. I said unless court ordered. That mean you go to court and have them terminate the agreement.

Quoting briansmommy2010:

And what about seriously toxic bio parents. My bio mom is severely mentally unstable, and I wish my adoptive parents had cut contact with her.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I know the law works that way but something should be done about it.


 


Quoting xixCandyxix:


Unfortunately, that's not the way the laws work. The adopting couple can close it at any time. Not saying I agree with it, but the laws don't work the way you think they do. Yes, I think they should be enforced to stick to the original agreement though.


 


 

 

 


 

Wicked.Jester
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM

why?  Just because she wants to?

what it comes down to is what the adoptive parents feel is best for the child.

Period.

Quoting Anonymous:

No, i think they are parents. but if bm choose to do an open adoption. she should be allowed to remain in contact with the child.


Quoting Wicked.Jester:

You think adoptive parents are babysitters?

Quoting Anonymous:

I disagree with both of you





Quoting Wicked.Jester:

I agree.  Adoptive parents are not babysitters.

Quoting silverdawn99:

i think there should be no open adoption

once you sign that dotted line its their child not yours







brandie1470
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree with some of what is being said. Like adoptive parents are not babysitters and the child does not belong to the birth parent after the adoption.

However these adoptive parents know exactly what they are getting into when the birth parents say they want  it open. How open should be agreed by both parties. Once agreed it should be that way until taken to court.

kailu1835
by Platinum Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM
5 moms liked this
If you want contact with your kid don't give them to someone else. The kid belongs to the legal parents and they do not have to keep you in the loop. Open adoption means that it is public record, and the bm knows who has the kid. That's it. It doesn't mean that they are legally required to keep you involved in their kids life. The kid isn't yours, he or she is theirs. Period. They get to make the decisions, not you.

*general you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm torn on how i feel about this subject....
I feel like a lot of young mothers are lured into "open adoptions" just to have them closed in their faces and i really don't think that's fair...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM

well, if the mother wanted to be able to see her child, she should have kept it or adopted it to a member of her family, once someone else takes over the parental rights of that child, its their child, they shouldnt have to deal with the bio parents trying to see the kid, it is not their kid anymore, end of story.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM
I'm really hoping they won't do that. they seem like really nice people. plus i trust the agency i am working with.


Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm currently doing adoption and i as the bm would be extremely pissed if they didn't follow the open adoption that i choose

 You have to be prepared for that reality because it does happen.


Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM
7 moms liked this

I am the birth mother in what was an open adoption. I told them several years ago that I thought it would be best to go semi open, and allow their son to choose if he wanted to continue contact with me. I never wanted him to worry about staying in contact just for the sake of my feelings. I mean, he is fifteen now, and very busy.  But he has chosen to stay in contact, and he knows (from his parents and I), that HE is in control of how much contact there is.  

I know I am in the minority, because I have been at peace with my choice to place him from the moment I made that choice. I know he is where he was meant to be, and the only real role I play in his life is as the vessel that brought him to his family. But I just wanted to put that out there. Not all adoptive parents feel the need to continue to cling.

briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM
Why should an adoptive parent have to go to court to make decisions for THEIR child?

Want to be a part of your child's life? Figure out a way to MAKE IT WORK instead of signing over your rights.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Read the whole OP. I said unless court ordered. That mean you go to court and have them terminate the agreement.


Quoting briansmommy2010:

And what about seriously toxic bio parents. My bio mom is severely mentally unstable, and I wish my adoptive parents had cut contact with her.


Quoting Anonymous:


 I know the law works that way but something should be done about it.



 



Quoting xixCandyxix:



Unfortunately, that's not the way the laws work. The adopting couple can close it at any time. Not saying I agree with it, but the laws don't work the way you think they do. Yes, I think they should be enforced to stick to the original agreement though.



 



 




 

Wicked.Jester
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 5:20 PM

Its one of the major reasons why I did.  I had no interest in an open adoption, and they were even more popular when I adopted than they are now.  

People are finally starting to see that an open adoption is NOT always best for the child.  Probably isn't best in most cases.

Quoting Anonymous:

You shouldn't have to go to court to make a decision about what is in the best interest of your child.  This is why people go overseas to adopt. 


Quoting Anonymous:

 Read the whole OP. I said unless court ordered. That mean you go to court and have them terminate the agreement.

Quoting briansmommy2010:

And what about seriously toxic bio parents. My bio mom is severely mentally unstable, and I wish my adoptive parents had cut contact with her.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I know the law works that way but something should be done about it.




Quoting xixCandyxix:


Unfortunately, that's not the way the laws work. The adopting couple can close it at any time. Not saying I agree with it, but the laws don't work the way you think they do. Yes, I think they should be enforced to stick to the original agreement though.










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