A bit of a backstory....
25 years ago I was assaulted by my best friends brother. It caused a serious "scandal" among my family members. The assault resulted in a pregnancy that I decided to go through with. My mother blamed the entire fiasco on me and kicked me out of the house when I decided...at 8 months along...to give the child up for adoption. I gave birth Dec 23 to a beautiful baby girl but I could not hold her and not see my attacker. Although I knew I couldnt care for her I needed to know she was well taken care of. The adopting couple happened to be my father's sister and her husband.
Jauqlene has grown up all these years with me watching her from the sidelines and beyond happy that I still was able to see her grow but my aunt (after 14 years of infertility and 3 stillborns) just blossoming with the chance to be a mother. I have never over stepped my bounds and as far as my daughter is concerned Im her favorite cousin. My aunt and I are very close, and it was the proudest day of my life when I was invited to watch her graduate highschool and college.
I suffered several complications during and after my pregnancy with my daughter that did not allow me to conceive until 7 months and 12 days ago. My husband and I have been married 20 years and have never had children. We simply resolved ourself to doting on our neices and nephews, and any other little bundle we came across. On a routine yearly exam I expressed to my OB that I was showing some signs of what I thought to be menopause.
Low and behold I was 8 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has been a gift from God. Your run of the mill pregnancy and my husband and I have had Joshua's nursery stocked and set up since month 4. My aunt is so happy for me because Im more of a daughter to her and she sees this child as the gift for the selfless act of giving her the chance to be a mother in turn.
My aunt decided last month she was going to throw me a baby shower. DH and I tried to stand our ground and refuse but my aunt was adamant that I be allowed to experience something like this. Naturally my aunt sent my mother an invitation.
Here is the email I received in response to it:
I am appalled that you have the audacity to have "B" send me an invitation to a sham of a celebration! What right do you have to celebrate the birth of this child which mind you is probably going to be mentally retarded when you handed my grand-daughter over to complete strangers!! You took my chance away from me years ago. Please do not mind me if I would rather not attend and I will not attend the birth. Your trying to replace the child you threw away and it sickens me. I pray that everytime you look at it's face you see the daughter you destroyed. With this email I am also asking that you do not contact me any further. It wasn't enough that your father died but you shamed me and then took away my grand-daughter. I wish I could offer you my best wishes but quite frankly I offer my condolences to your daughter. I did not raise you to be selfish and you are a severe reminder of the failure your father was.
I have been nearly hysterical since I got this email....Im honestly at a loss as to what to think, feel, or say. My mother was not aware that my aunt adopted my child. We thought it to be better this way. My DH and I have both agreed that regardless if our son is born with disabilities he is our angel none the less.
A small part of me thinks she is right, a very tiny microscopic part. Is this wrong?