I grew up the baby. my brother is 4 years older then me and all my life i have felt pushed to the side. We both had problems growing up, he has ADHD and i had multiple learning disibilitys, speech imparments and also i was in and out of ocupational therepy in elementry and some of middle school. My brother was my biggest tormenter he would make fun of the way i talked or the way i ran. Yes i know he is my brother but it was like he meant it at times. When we got older we barly ever talked but once we fought it wasnt him pulling my hair or pushing me. It was full blown fist fights. I remember I was 12 and he woke me up for school i think i said "Fuck off" because it was early and i was cranky. the next thing i know he smacked me so hard across the face i had a bloody nose. then after i got up and was ready to go to school. He was still angry and triped me and i ended up getting a black eye because my face hit my door frame. My mom just yelled at him, nothing else. I always seemed like the punching bag for him with mental, verbal and physical abuse. My father also i have no relationship with him today and i cant stand to be around him. My father didnt beat me but i got smacked across the face and also a metel spoon to my ass. (I know I am rambling) My mom and brother though always are on my case "Why cant you find a good guy with no criminal or messed up past" How am i supposed to answer that when i was literly abused by the two men that where supposed to be my protectors. I know i wasnt beaten or abusd on a daily basis or it just happend but still i believe i was abused growing up and up until today. Not even six months ago i got down my brothers back for something about my daughter the next thing i knew he fucking smacked me in the face and my mom is standing there "You deserved it." I cant talk to him. I have no relationship with him and i am an embarressement to him and my father. I am quiet and shy and come off as stuck up or have a bitchy attitude cause i pick and choose the people i talk to. He smokes pot and goes to festivals every weekend in the summer getting messed up on mollie and whateverelse that is out there and i am the one getting attacked or shunned. My whole family looks at me like an outcast and I sometimes wish i wasnt apart of my family.