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only if u take marriage seriously!

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I have never been so fed up in my life! I never take my rings off unless I take a shower (im afraid they will slip of and go down the drain) and after I shower they go right back on well my husband thinks its okay to take his off whenever, go to the fire station where all the sluts around here use to hang out and ya know leave his ring! its bad enough that fire department is pissing me off to the point I told him if he didn't quit I was leaving (he hasn't quit btw) its an obsession to him! he has the scanner on his phone ON constantly, his pager is on public all the time and his radio is too! I never get any peace! im constantly hearing a department get paged out or him getting paged out and no matter how simple the call is (as far as needing people) he will leave running thru the house like his ass is on fire! doesn't matter if I need help or anything! if I ask him to turn them down he acts like a 5 year old! so I was laying in the bed and he left the room well I rolled onto his side of the bed and found his ring under the remote control! I was so pissed, it got worse when I came into the house and he wasn't home! I figured where he was but didn't leave a note or anything! I text him this big long rant and basically told him if he could leave his ring around like he thought our marriage didn't mean shit well mine wasn't gonna be worn when we left the house or even if I left by myself! needless to say when I got out of the shower he was home, still didn't put his ring on (I hid it in my dads room as punishment) I came in the living room sat down and haven't said more than two words to him the whole time! am I being childish probably! but this isn't the first time this has happened, he actually lost it at one point! I swear he thinks its a joke but to me its serious business! I SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED HE IS A VOLUNTEER ITS NOT A JOB IT SHOULD BE A HOBBY BUT TO HIM ITS AN OBSESSION HE DOES NOT GET PAID FOR IT OR ANYTHING.
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:57 PM
Replies (51-60):
by Anonymous 10 on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:22 PM
1 mom liked this

My ex was a fire fighter and I couldn't handle it. I know exactly where you are coming from.

by Anonymous 11 on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:22 PM
1 mom liked this

yeah i agree with everyone saying it's a hazard. Being married and having a ring is important to me but i told my husband i'd like him to wear his since he doesn't have a high risk type job. if he did, i'd understand that and not be so adamant about it. But  the fire station is his either hobby or job, and if you didn't like it and can't accept it, why did you go into a relationship with someone who does that? Letting your spouse be who they are and do the things they like to do are WAY more important than whether or not he wears a ring. Talk to him about it and find a way to compromise on the noise of hearing constantly from the fire station but don't stress over his ring. It isn't worth it.

by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I assume he is a fire fighter from your post and I would say that him wearing any type of jewelery would be considered a safety hazzard.  I was in the Army and when I was out on the flight line working on the helicopters there was a strict rule of now jewelery or hats while at work. 

I think you have a trust issue here also...

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:22 PM

You sound fragile. Dh lost his a while and hasn't gotten a new one yet. It doesn't bother me. He will eventually get another and until he does, it's no big deal. It doesn't mean he doesn't take marriage seriously. Get a grip.

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:23 PM

As far as the ring thing goes, when we got married and dh kept taking his off and leaving it I just told him I'd start taking mine off and leaving mine at home too. It was AMAZING how he was suddenly able to remember! He didn't want someone thinking I was available.

Secondly, it sounds like the firefighter thing is the bigger issue, but my question is, was he a ff when you met? Did you marry him knowing this was his profession and something he loved? If so I don't honestly know what you expect bc you took this on when you married him. Maybe some therapy and having some boundaries at home, like turning off the pager and radio but you don't marry someone and are fine with what they are doing and then later say I can't stand that about you any more. You don't marry someone and think or hope even that they will change.

I think you are having some MAJOR communication problems and a marriage usually doesn't work well without good communication. If you can't fix it on your own, which it sounds like you can't, then it's time to seek the help of a professional. Best of luck.

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:23 PM

 finally someone understands!

Quoting mistressflora:

I never take mine off either, unless I am making something for dinner thats messy. and they go right back on. I forgot to put them back on one time and I actually asked my DH for his ring bc I felt like I was cheating on him lol! he told me no, and he doesnt take his off either, the only time he had was when he worked on cars. Some jobs require it.


by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:23 PM

where I work, any jewelry is a safety hazard, including wedding rings.  some have gotten a tattoo of their wedding ring.  If you are this serious about him having a ring, maybe you should ask him to get the tattoo.

by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:23 PM
You are really immature. You should probably stop nagging before you push hIm away.
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:23 PM
My husband and I haven't worn our rings since around the time our second child was born. That child turned 28 years old back in April.
IMO we are just as married now as we were when we did wear rings.
by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:23 PM
We take our marriage seriously, and neither of us wear our rings. We only wear them when we go out. My husband cannot wear his at work, he works with electricity so it's a safety hazard. I don't wear mine because I just don't wear jewelry and it doesn't fit right now because I'm pregnant.

Just because we don't wear our rings, doesn't mean we're out whoring around. I trust my husband and he trusts me, in the end the rings are just jewelry.

I'm also sure that it's a safety hazard for a firefighter to wear a ring on the job. Just chill. If you don't trust him, work on that. Communicate.
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