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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Stepmothers incorrectly using the term Birthmother

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 135 Replies
21 moms liked this

I wish stepmothers would quit calling your step children's mothers their birthmothers.  UNLESS they have totally relinquished rights and you have legally adopted their child they are the MOTHER.  Not birthmother.  No matter how much parenting you do or how checked out they are... you are the STEPMOTHER.  They are the MOTHER.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:18 PM

i kinda feel the same way.

 i dont say anything or  be rude with my girls step mother, but she refers to me as "the birth mom" the whole snobby nose turned up thing.

 yeah  because i mean  since the kids only visit  for 2 days a month, she and their father clearly are  more superior better parents.... which i dont see how anything they do could  measure up crammed into 48hrs at least 16 of which they are asleep, when you compare  all the things i do day in day out for 28-29 days of the month. oh yes and  because their father canceled visits all summer  and hasnt visited them since may, they are clearly far better parents than me. (eye roll)

 hes asked for  longer visits  during school breaks but then calls during visit  demanding to shorten it and return them earlier, somthing about that its too stressful  on her and his marrige if the kids stay  for more than 4 days.....

MelanieMans
by Sapphire Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:34 PM

 Oh she sounds like a great person. I hope your ex doesnt reproduce with her.


Quoting Anonymous:

i kinda feel the same way.

 i dont say anything or  be rude with my girls step mother, but she refers to me as "the birth mom" the whole snobby nose turned up thing.

 yeah  because i mean  since the kids only visit  for 2 days a month, she and their father clearly are  more superior better parents.... which i dont see how anything they do could  measure up crammed into 48hrs at least 16 of which they are asleep, when you compare  all the things i do day in day out for 28-29 days of the month. oh yes and  because their father canceled visits all summer  and hasnt visited them since may, they are clearly far better parents than me. (eye roll)

 hes asked for  longer visits  during school breaks but then calls during visit  demanding to shorten it and return them earlier, somthing about that its too stressful  on her and his marrige if the kids stay  for more than 4 days.....


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:37 PM
10 moms liked this

 Well when she actually starts being a mother to her children then I will quit calling her the birthmother of my 2 oldest children. I am the one that feeds them, clothes them, tucks them in at night, holds them when they are sick. I have more rights to be called their mother then their birthmother ever will.

got2monsters
by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:38 PM
4 moms liked this
If my children had a stepmother and she referred to me as thier "birth mother" I'd reply with

"It's funny you should call me that, although I'm not sure why you feel it's necessary to point out that I gave birth to them, everyone knows I am the only woman who gave birth to them, doesn't it seem a bit redundant to constantly remind people I gave birth to them?"

Say it all confused and patronizing in front of people so she got the message.
KennyPooPoo22
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:40 PM
2 moms liked this
i dont get the big deal
wyomom4
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:41 PM
5 moms liked this

How is birthmother inaccurate? I gave birth to my daughter, therefore I am her birthmother. I have 3 stepkids, I am their stepmother. They, and their mom, refer to their mom as birthmom ans to me as stepmom. Especially when we are all out together. 

That being said, if it is used in a condescending manner (as a lot of people use stepmom) that turns it into an insult. And that is not ok. But that is a different issue.

emilysmom8
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:42 PM
Me either...

Quoting KennyPooPoo22:

i dont get the big deal
LNLMommy
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:42 PM
5 moms liked this

I don't think most stepmothers actually refer to the mother as "birth mother" except on here and in cases where the birth mother isn't involved. I've never heard that before. My stepkids mother is there mother-I'm just plain ole Kelli

mom2_2542
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:43 PM
Then this doesn't apply to your situation.


Quoting Anonymous:

 Well when she actually starts being a mother to her children then I will quit calling her the birthmother of my 2 oldest children. I am the one that feeds them, clothes them, tucks them in at night, holds them when they are sick. I have more rights to be called their mother then their birthmother ever will.


myempyreofdirt
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 4:44 PM
8 moms liked this
I don't know anyone who uses that in day to day life. I've only seen it on cm, and just took it to be a way of being more clear who the poster is talking about.
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