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Having a SECOND wedding!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

Now that I got your need advice..

So dh and I got married at age 18. We wanted to get married, eventually, but not really yet because we wanted to have a real wedding. With the wedding dress, the groomsmen, etc. Well, I was pregnant and his mother is Catholic and she kept harassing us about getting married before we had the baby. She kept telling us that we could have a big wedding later. So, we got married. The marriage itself is great. We are happy. We'll be married for three years next month. Although, I always think of the wedding I wanted to have. We got married to please someone else, not the way we wanted to, and not on our terms..

We do want to have our big wedding. No gifts, though. We wouldn't accept them. Would it have to be a vow renewal? Does a vow renewal mean no bridesmaids? No dress? etc.? Would we have to get married on the same date? If we got married on a different date, how would would that work?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:31 PM
Technically it would be a vow renewal. You can do it whenever and however you want
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:35 PM


by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:37 PM
I would've just told his mother to fuck off so I'm really no help. Sorry.
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:44 PM

It would be a vow renewal. No you don't have to choose the same date but most try to have it on that day or close too depending on what day of the week that date is that year. 

I see no issue having the wedding of your dreams after being married. 

Personally, my story is sort of the same....I had the wedding that my mom wanted and not what I wanted so I have always dreamed about our vow renewal. Of course my dream was a very small scale wedding on the beach. So next time, my husband and I are doing it my way....the two of us on the beach and I will have the dress I wanted. I also thought about making it a big party but really I just want a vow renewal do over. No one would be able to ruin it with opinions that way. 

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:46 PM
2 moms liked this

Put in your invitations "your presence is our present".

by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:50 PM

I think you should have it however you want. Do whatever you would have done if you wouldn't have had the other ceremony.

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:52 PM

We were legally married and then had a full wedding ceremony a few months later. Most of my family counts the ceremony date as my anniversary. Honestly, it felt a little strange doing it that way. I'm not sure that having the ceremony made up for the lack of wedding in the first place, if that makes sense. I really think having it three years later might feel odd to you as you do it, and not give you the experience you missed out on. After that long, I would be more apt to call it a vow renewal. Maybe on your five year anniversary? Sorry you missed out on the wedding you wanted :( Hope the ceremony you have makes up for it!

by BEXi on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:54 PM

Vow Renewal.

Some people do little celebrations, and others do full out weddings. Its up to you.

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:57 PM

how can get married very traditional , dress./bridesmaids/groomsmen the works   you didnt have the wedding you wanted   DO IT  be proud  and happy   gave fun   I plan to renew my vow's ain 2 yrs in a short dress and a luncheon about 100 people  mostly family

by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:59 PM

Not sure if there is a correct legal type answer or not, but DH and I got married the first time in the chapel at the hospital I worked at, and then did it again almost a year later at the church.  The only thing that was different is that the pastor at the second one didn't sign a certificate, we just had to show him that we were already legally married.  The ceremony itself was a normal wedding ceremony.

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