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My SIL is pregnant at 15..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies
I found out a couple days ago that my 15 year old SIL is pregnant. To be completely honest..My DH and I aren't surprised. We were expecting it, really.

We got pregnant when I was 15. We stayed together and are now married. I'm 20 and he's 22. My SIL thinks that because we did it, she can, too.

However, she doesn't get it. I heard from my MIL that she seems very cocky about being pregnant.. This girl has some issues. She has smoked weed and has gotten drunk. When her mother went out of town for the weekend with her husband (my SIL's stepdad), she threw a party and the cops were called. Apparently they drank all the alcohol in the house, which wasn't much, but still. She has missed so much school and barely passes her classes. In general, she is VERY immature.

Then there is my DH and me... I was a straight-A student. My DH wanted to be involved and got a job right away. He completed a program at the school in order to graduate early. I just graduated last year, on time (I started kindergarten a year late). My parents have supported me through the whole thing. We have a strong relationship and I'm satisfied with my life.

My MIL wants her to get an abortion, but she refuses. I just can not see this girl getting her priorities straight and raising a baby. But according to her, she can do it because we did it. Her unborn child's father doesn't want to be involved, at least right now.

I don't know what to do. I want to support her, but I want to cry for her, too. She has no idea what she's getting herself into. I've watched her mother struggle with her behavior in the past and she's been in counseling, too. It's like nothing my MIL does.helps her.

I was thinking about sending my SIL a message on Facebook and just letting her know I'm here. She needs a support system, whatever decision she makes.. But we aren't super close. What should I do?
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:35 PM

pray that she agrees to an abortion. It doesnt sound like she ould handle a baby anytime soon.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

Mommysmadae
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:38 PM
Wow. She's got a long road ahead of her. Honestly she sounds to stupid to realize it yet. Reality check is coming down the pike for her real soon. And yes be there for her when it does, she will need it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:39 PM
I really don't agree with abortion, for myself.. But for her it sounds like the best option. Her mother even offered her birth control, but she said she didn't need it. The whole situation makes me feel sick. I wish she would understand the severity of the situation. She doesn't understand how much my DH and I have gone through.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

pray that she agrees to an abortion. It doesnt sound like she ould handle a baby anytime soon.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:41 PM
omg i hate teen moms idk why i open these posts.


hope she gets an abortion, that poor baby :(
lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:41 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I really don't agree with abortion, for myself.. But for her it sounds like the best option. Her mother even offered her birth control, but she said she didn't need it. The whole situation makes me feel sick. I wish she would understand the severity of the situation. She doesn't understand how much my DH and I have gone through.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

pray that she agrees to an abortion. It doesnt sound like she ould handle a baby anytime soon.

  Maybe it would help if you shared with her?

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

bandzbandzbandz
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Obviously that's one of the downfalls of having teen pregnancy in your family period. Monkey see monkey do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:59 PM

Because you have been there done that type of thing. I would send her a message and add something in it like, "I know we are not all that close, but I am here for you. I pay not be able to financially help, but since you know we did it at your age because your (I guess your DH would be her brother) brother and I wanted to be parents then, you know the different emotions and hardships that are to come." Just be open with her. Honestly, if it were me and my SIL, it is her kids that actually make me put up with her bullshit. If she didn't have kids, I wouldn't even deal with her shit. I don't like her....its a "for the kids" type of relationship that we have. And also because my DH is very close to his family. May not be close to his sister, but he is close to his mom and won't upset her. Just be prepared for a lot of bullshit with this. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 21, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this


You say THAT POOR BABY but hopes the baby is aborted? I've known a few teen moms (when I was a teen myself) and even many adults who where not mature enough or had their life to the point of being able to raise a child. But that's not the child's fault. Why kill the baby because the timing is bad or she will have a harder time than most. There is adoption and I don't know about the family, but I'm sure someone would rather take the baby than see it be killed.

Support her, I wouldn't send a msg on facebook, I wouldn't talk to her face to face. Take her out to eat. Get her thinking about what all having a baby details. Let her know how tough it was for you, but that her life will change and it's time that she starts getting her self prepared.

Quoting Anonymous:

omg i hate teen moms idk why i open these posts.


hope she gets an abortion, that poor baby :(



svolkov
by Emerald Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 9:10 PM
Well thats an oxymoron....pretty sure the baby would be worse off dead O_o


Quoting Anonymous:

omg i hate teen moms idk why i open these posts.





hope she gets an abortion, that poor baby :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 21, 2013 at 9:16 PM
yeah cuz shes drinking and doing god knows what the baby would probably be born with alot or problems. Better for the baby not have to suffer more in the long run.
I was gonna say adoption but the baby will most likely suffer its whole life. It sounds like she is just gonna keep drinking and partying .

And yes your right some older moms have issues too BUT BY FAR more teen moms have the issue. They arnt mature enough and want to party. For ever good one it seems like there are 4 bad ones.
Quoting Anonymous:


You say THAT POOR BABY but hopes the baby is aborted? I've known a few teen moms (when I was a teen myself) and even many adults who where not mature enough or had their life to the point of being able to raise a child. But that's not the child's fault. Why kill the baby because the timing is bad or she will have a harder time than most. There is adoption and I don't know about the family, but I'm sure someone would rather take the baby than see it be killed.

Support her, I wouldn't send a msg on facebook, I wouldn't talk to her face to face. Take her out to eat. Get her thinking about what all having a baby details. Let her know how tough it was for you, but that her life will change and it's time that she starts getting her self prepared.


Quoting Anonymous:

omg i hate teen moms idk why i open these posts.





hope she gets an abortion, that poor baby :(




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