Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think parents of special needs kids need to be more understanding. (Kind of a SO)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 91 Replies
8 moms liked this
I do not have any special needs kids however a few friends and my cousin does. I was reading the I hop post where a woman rolled her eyes at a mom because the moms autistic son was stimming and making some noises. Half the moms seem to think the woman was out of line.... The other half agree that they would also have been annoyed. Now I have read post after post about how people are getting mad when others are annoyed with their SN kids and that their actions are uncontrollable and not their fault. But I seriously think it goes both ways. I never see the parents of these SN kids cutting others some slack.

For one......if your kid is making consistent noise over and over in public then it WILL annoy others. To YOU it may be nothing. Especially compared to how the child may act at other times. However to a parent with no SN experience it may not be nothing to them. It can be annoying and distracting.

2nd. People may NOT realize that your child is SN. Many SN kids do not look any different then a child who is not. To a parent who does not know you, all they could see is a child acting up in public and the parent not doing anything to try to stop it. YOU may know you can't stop him/her but others may not. Up until the last 5 years I had zero experience with SN kids. I would see a child acting up and never once did I think "hrmm maybe the child is special needs"

Lastly....you need to remember that you know a lot more about your SN child then anybody else. Getting an eye roll is not the end of the world. I know that a SNs child is NOT always controllable and so as parents you need to realize that sometimes your kids will annoy others (that goes for special needs or not). Learn to ignore the eye rolls or comments....but learn different ways to distract the child or remove them from the situation for a few minutes to cool down.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:16 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
invisibleme
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:18 AM
2 moms liked this
How about you worry about your kid instead of judging others. So called Normal kids act out and annoy others as welll.
RazzleMySpazz
by spaztastic on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:25 AM
16 moms liked this


I'm not sure you actually read the post.....

Op. Well written, non judgmental message of mutual understanding. Nicely put. 

Quoting invisibleme:

How about you worry about your kid instead of judging others. So called Normal kids act out and annoy others as welll.



invisibleme
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:30 AM
I read it...plain and simple focus on your family/child group in public because you never know others situation. All kids have melt downs how about just show some compassion.

Quoting RazzleMySpazz:


I'm not sure you actually read the post.....

Op. Well written, non judgmental message of mutual understanding. Nicely put. 

Quoting invisibleme:

How about you worry about your kid instead of judging others. So called Normal kids act out and annoy others as welll.



JP-StrongForTwo
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:31 AM
2 moms liked this

I am actually one of the moms who are understanding when people don't know whats going on. I try my best to explain (if i can, sometimes my DD doesn't allow me the time lol) 

but im also not one of those moms who would just stay in the store, or restaurant, or what have you, if my child is having an issue. 

Jac817
by Bronze Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:32 AM
1 mom liked this

My kid does loud, obnoxious things in public too. It isn't just SN children...

briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:37 AM
2 moms liked this
Yay I got a spin off, lol.

I do appreciate the way you worded your post, and I want to add my two cents regarding that situation.

Despite what some want to believe, my DS was not being loud. He was literally flapping his arms and humming. We could barely hear him at our table. Had he been loud and disruptive, I would have had absolutely no problem removing him, because I'm NOT one of those "my kid has autism the world needs to just learn to deal with it" type of moms. I know when he's just losing control of his body a little bit (like last night at ihop), and when he's bordering on full blown meltdown, and being disruptive.

I also realize that not everybody will know he has SN from looking at him. I get the "aww he's shy" comments a couple times a week, because that's the first assumption when you see a child his size that doesn't talk.

As far as the eye roll, I could have maybe brushed that off. But it was the nasty looks that followed that bothered me. I do take it a bit personally, because it hurts to know that somebody would think so negatively of my child for something as petty as arm flapping and humming.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:38 AM

clapping

RazzleMySpazz
by spaztastic on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:38 AM

Ok... that's the other side of the statement....

She wasn't saying to judge, nor was she judging...

There are two sides to etiquette. Please and thank you. You're discussing one side, she made her remarks on the other. Compassion from one side, understanding from the other.

Her comments were toward sn parents. Your comment is directed to everyone else...

Quoting invisibleme:

I read it...plain and simple focus on your family/child group in public because you never know others situation. All kids have melt downs how about just show some compassion.

Quoting RazzleMySpazz:


I'm not sure you actually read the post.....

Op. Well written, non judgmental message of mutual understanding. Nicely put. 

Quoting invisibleme:

How about you worry about your kid instead of judging others. So called Normal kids act out and annoy others as welll.




Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:39 AM
2 moms liked this

I still say you should have doused the bitch with a tall glass of cold water................

Quoting briansmommy2010:

Yay I got a spin off, lol.

I do appreciate the way you worded your post, and I want to add my two cents regarding that situation.

Despite what some want to believe, my DS was not being loud. He was literally flapping his arms and humming. We could barely hear him at our table. Had he been loud and disruptive, I would have had absolutely no problem removing him, because I'm NOT one of those "my kid has autism the world needs to just learn to deal with it" type of moms. I know when he's just losing control of his body a little bit (like last night at ihop), and when he's bordering on full blown meltdown, and being disruptive.

I also realize that not everybody will know he has SN from looking at him. I get the "aww he's shy" comments a couple times a week, because that's the first assumption when you see a child his size that doesn't talk.

As far as the eye roll, I could have maybe brushed that off. But it was the nasty looks that followed that bothered me. I do take it a bit personally, because it hurts to know that somebody would think so negatively of my child for something as petty as arm flapping and humming.


TrouserMouse
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:39 AM
3 moms liked this
Why are you rolling your eyes at anyone to begin with?
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)