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Grandmother Blames Library for Letting 9-Year-Old Check Out Erotic Book

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Grandmother Blames Library for Letting 9-Year-Old Check Out Erotic Book

by Sasha Brown-Worsham

library blamed erotic bookAn Indiana grandmother is furious after her 9-year-old grandson was allowed to check out Night Games by Crystal Jordan via self check-out at the library. The book, apparently, is a sexually explicit erotic novel and is wholly inappropriate for young children. That much is true. But the library was fairly unapologetic, telling the grandmother that it's her responsibility to keep her kids from reading that stuff.

The question: Was the library in the right? I am going with yes.

While I agree with the grandmother that it's disturbing -- and lord knows I would be bothered -- the library is right here. It's a public library, which means they can and should have a lot of books for people to choose from and some of those books may not be for children.

See video here.

The reality is, as parents or guardians, it's our job to protect our kids from what they see. It's one thing to keep things out of a school library, but even that is a slippery slope.

Some of my earliest "erotic" memories come from stealing books from my parents' friends and reading them. Obviously my parents didn't condone this, but hey, they should have kept a better eye on me, right?

We are parents. As parents it's OUR job and our job only to protect our kids. I am sorry for this grandmother. That is upsetting. But the library is right here. As a public library, their job is to make sure the public has access to books.

Hiding books from people isn't the job of the library, and much as I don't think a 9-year-old should be reading that stuff, at least he's reading, right? He's showing an avid interest in books! It's not all bad.

Do you think the library is at fault here?

by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Replies (121-128):
Badbish
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:55 PM

Lol, its not the library's job to watch out for other peoples kids. Honestly...that grandmother should be doing damage control rather than pointing fingers. I'm assuming she was the one who was supposed to be watching the 9 year old. Its no ones problem but hers. Shes just trying to put the blame somewhere else. Understandable, but...stupid.

Badbish
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:56 PM

I'm actually almost positive that 9 year old knew it was bad.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:01 AM


Apparently because she was under 16 they had to call me - I was happy for her to read everything she could. Her friends were big anime watchers and their parents got quite a few calls because the system had flagged anime/manga that the girls had picked out. It was a good system - but it was a bit TOO good.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

Oh I definitely agree with you there.  But I am not sure I would follow my 15 year old to the library and inspect each book before she checked it out (not that I have a 15 yo, so I really don't know, I'm just guessing by then that they will have some freedom in choosing their own books), so I think I would appreciate a heads up from the library if she was checking out lots of books on sex ed-like does that mean she is considering having sex?  Since I was 15 when I made that decision, I hope I have a good open dialogue with my DD at that point, but it would be nice to be aware of it if someone else noticed something.  Kind of like I would want a friend to mention if she saw my kid out somewhere he shouldn't have been, you know?

I don't think the library should stop kids from checking out books, it is the parents job to know what their kids are reading, but I would appreciate a heads up like this in that kind of situation.  But I think you are right, it would impossible to choose which topics to notify parents of and which books fall in those topics, it would wind up being too restrictive and wouldn't work out well.


Quoting SusanTheWriter:

Then parents need to look at what their kids are reading.

That's it. They need to be involved.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I agree with you.  I just think it would be good for parents that may not know their kids are reading up on suicide or drugs or something scary.  I don't think classics should be censored-you can learn so much from them even if they have bad stuff.  But a book on how to make bombs?  Probably should be aware if your kid is checking that out of the library. I think there is a difference between the classic stories, and how-to type books that maybe kids shouldn't be checking out of the library.


Quoting SusanTheWriter:

Who determines what is a flagged subject? Racism? Then you can't read "To Kill A Mockingbird." Death? Then you can't read "Where the Red Fern Grows." War? Then you can't read "Johnny Tremain."

No. Freedom can't have limits. We may not like everything that comes along with it, but when you start making rules about what people of any age can and can't read, then you don't have freedom.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

While I am all for freedom and privacy, I think it's great that the library called you. I think all libraries should do that, with technology today it would be easy to have a program that categorizes books and the librarian could see at a glance if there are 'flagged subjects' and they can notify the parents.


Quoting Anonymous:

When my eldest and I used to go to the library - I would check what books she had before I allowed her to borrow them. Not for reasons like this - but because I was trying to curb her obsession with a particular author and I wanted her to have no more than 4 books of hers at a time (Ann M.Martin anyone?) But I do remember one particular time recieving a call from the library when DD went there herself (at 15) and borrowed some books on sexual education - they said it was their protocall to notifiy parents of minors if a flagged subject came up. I think more libraries should have that.











Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:06 AM

What would you have liked me to do? We lived in a very large city with only one car - which my DH took to work at least 40 minutes away daily. I had a toddler and 2 twin babies and DD (who is now 21) took the bus to/from school and would often go to the library. I personally had no problem with her checking out whatever books she wanted and always told the librarian I was fine with whatever she had picked - but if I wasn't, what was I to do? I couldn't homeschool her, I couldn't pick her up, even if I took away her library card she still had the right to flash her school ID and borrow whatever she wanted. I never actually GOT to go to the library with her because of the lack of time/transport I had - my only option would have been to take away all her books and return them - which never would have worked with lack of cars.


Quoting RobinBright:

This mentality is frightening.  The library cannot and should not fill the role of policing.  We live in a nation with free access to information.  Whether a teen is checking out books on sex, drugs, frogs, or the history of paper dolls, it is not the library's place to call you and inform you.  

Your child, your responsibility to monitor.  NOT the library's responsibility.  

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

Oh I definitely agree with you there.  But I am not sure I would follow my 15 year old to the library and inspect each book before she checked it out (not that I have a 15 yo, so I really don't know, I'm just guessing by then that they will have some freedom in choosing their own books), so I think I would appreciate a heads up from the library if she was checking out lots of books on sex ed-like does that mean she is considering having sex?  Since I was 15 when I made that decision, I hope I have a good open dialogue with my DD at that point, but it would be nice to be aware of it if someone else noticed something.  Kind of like I would want a friend to mention if she saw my kid out somewhere he shouldn't have been, you know?

I don't think the library should stop kids from checking out books, it is the parents job to know what their kids are reading, but I would appreciate a heads up like this in that kind of situation.  But I think you are right, it would impossible to choose which topics to notify parents of and which books fall in those topics, it would wind up being too restrictive and wouldn't work out well.


Quoting SusanTheWriter:

Then parents need to look at what their kids are reading.

That's it. They need to be involved.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I agree with you.  I just think it would be good for parents that may not know their kids are reading up on suicide or drugs or something scary.  I don't think classics should be censored-you can learn so much from them even if they have bad stuff.  But a book on how to make bombs?  Probably should be aware if your kid is checking that out of the library. I think there is a difference between the classic stories, and how-to type books that maybe kids shouldn't be checking out of the library.


Quoting SusanTheWriter:

Who determines what is a flagged subject? Racism? Then you can't read "To Kill A Mockingbird." Death? Then you can't read "Where the Red Fern Grows." War? Then you can't read "Johnny Tremain."

No. Freedom can't have limits. We may not like everything that comes along with it, but when you start making rules about what people of any age can and can't read, then you don't have freedom.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

While I am all for freedom and privacy, I think it's great that the library called you. I think all libraries should do that, with technology today it would be easy to have a program that categorizes books and the librarian could see at a glance if there are 'flagged subjects' and they can notify the parents.


Quoting Anonymous:

When my eldest and I used to go to the library - I would check what books she had before I allowed her to borrow them. Not for reasons like this - but because I was trying to curb her obsession with a particular author and I wanted her to have no more than 4 books of hers at a time (Ann M.Martin anyone?) But I do remember one particular time recieving a call from the library when DD went there herself (at 15) and borrowed some books on sexual education - they said it was their protocall to notifiy parents of minors if a flagged subject came up. I think more libraries should have that.













LivysMama
by Gold Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:07 AM

No the library is not at fault. What kind of dumbass doesn't check what their kid is reading? It's not our job to monitor that. 

GirlWithANikon
by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:12 AM

Hmm. I dont think they should have those books at a library personally for starters. Get that shit from a drug store.  Also I think part of being a librarian is interacting with the people there. Here the Liberian always looks at my kids books, interacts with them, asks them which books belong to which child, etc every single week when we go. I think even if I was there one of the 4 would be like, this one is yours, right? I don't believe they would allowed a 9 year kid to check that book out without an adult. It is grandmas fault as well because why was she not interested enough to be like hey what cha checking out today ? I know even some of the kid's books are not what I want my kids reading so when they pick it I check it and if it isn't ok by our moral standards it goes back on the shelf until they are old enough to make those sort of decisions.

Autumn07
by Kat on Aug. 23, 2013 at 6:39 AM

The job of watching what a child is reading is all on the caregiver. The library is not the caregiver. People always want to blame someone else for what their kid is doing.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:38 AM


Because I can get any  book or info I want from my kindle.and as for movies I have netflix.I can't even remember the last time I went in one lol

Quoting SusanTheWriter:

Libraries are awesome! Free access to pretty much every book ever written, whether it's on the local shelves or not. Access to magazines and newspapers from all over. Access to free e-books, music, movies and games. Tons of great programming for everyone from toddlers to senior citizens.

Why WOULDN'T you use a library?!?

Quoting Anonymous:

People still use library's? Why?




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