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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Am I over thinking things?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies
These past months, my husband and I have been arguing a lot. Instead of things getting better, they are getting worse! I don't know what to do anymore because whenever we are on the phone, all we do is fight. We pretty much have a long distance relationship and only see each other every so many months if work allows. We are to the point where we no longer talk or even text. Whenever we speak on the phone is after I have reached my limit. I have to ask him to call me at least to see how I am doing. If I try reaching out to him, I get his voicemail or he replies very short texts back as if he didn't want to talk to me. I am so tired of this and just want to call it quits. I keep trying so hard for us to work but it's exhausting! I feel like our relationship is one sided. I feel neglected and I don't feel like a married woman. All I do is cry at night and pretend to everyone else that knows us that everything is perfect. Everyone says to me how lucky I am to have a great guy as a husband and I cannot tell anyone, not even close friends, the ways he has hurt me in the past and how he neglects me now; I can't tell anyone because I don't want any of them to hate him. I'm just so frustrated! I probably will not be able to see him till next year because I have to travel for work and it's like he doesn't even care that communication is one of the most important things especially when we have a sort-of long distance going on.

I don't know anymore. I have told him how I feel and he tells me that I need to calm down and stop all the craziness. And the only way I can really tell him how I feel is through text because he says that he doesn't want to talk to me on the phone to hear me bitch. I just feel so frustrated and I really want to end things. Am I being too harsh for thinking divorce as an option?! :(
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 25, 2013 at 12:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SageAdvice
by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 12:48 AM
4 moms liked this

 Didn't I already answer this tonight?

Sometimes the nicest thing one can do is love yourself enough to walk away and start over without the other person.

He doesn't seem to care, nor want to work on your marriage, and he's possibly simply waiting for you to take the hint and leave.

csxt99
by Jennifer on Aug. 25, 2013 at 12:52 AM

Sounds like the most sage advice to me.


Quoting SageAdvice:

 Didn't I already answer this tonight?

Sometimes the nicest thing one can do is love yourself enough to walk away and start over without the other person.

He doesn't seem to care, nor want to work on your marriage, and he's possibly simply waiting for you to take the hint and leave.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 25, 2013 at 1:00 AM
I want to walk away. I already told him that I got the hint and I want to file for divorce. He said that my complaining was pushing him away and I was giving up in our marriage so easily. It's like he wants me to take all that treatment and suck it up like nothing is wrong in our marriage. I told him that this marriage has fallen apart and I don't want to be in it anymore and he said that I am over thinking everything and will start acting like everything is fine the next day and contact me for a day or two to see how I am doing then it goes back to the same old thing.

Quoting SageAdvice:

 Didn't I already answer this tonight?


Sometimes the nicest thing one can do is love yourself enough to walk away and start over without the other person.


He doesn't seem to care, nor want to work on your marriage, and he's possibly simply waiting for you to take the hint and leave.

Kristanna
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 1:01 AM

In his mind, it's been over.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 25, 2013 at 1:04 AM
Yeah, you are right.

Quoting Kristanna:

In his mind, it's been over.

emandab
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 1:05 AM

Hmmm.... Sounds like he wants it to be your fault (divorce).  Just my opinion.


Quoting Anonymous:

I want to walk away. I already told him that I got the hint and I want to file for divorce. He said that my complaining was pushing him away and I was giving up in our marriage so easily. It's like he wants me to take all that treatment and suck it up like nothing is wrong in our marriage. I told him that this marriage has fallen apart and I don't want to be in it anymore and he said that I am over thinking everything and will start acting like everything is fine the next day and contact me for a day or two to see how I am doing then it goes back to the same old thing.

Quoting SageAdvice:

 Didn't I already answer this tonight?


Sometimes the nicest thing one can do is love yourself enough to walk away and start over without the other person.


He doesn't seem to care, nor want to work on your marriage, and he's possibly simply waiting for you to take the hint and leave.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 25, 2013 at 1:06 AM
Go ahead and go hun.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 25, 2013 at 1:15 AM
Yes, I've thought about that as well. And that's one of the things that has me worried because no one knows about our situation. On everyone's eyes, he's a great guy and once the divorce happens, everyone will think I was the one at fault. It's so unfair but I don't want to be unhappy anymore.

Quoting emandab:

Hmmm.... Sounds like he wants it to be your fault (divorce).  Just my opinion.



Quoting Anonymous:

I want to walk away. I already told him that I got the hint and I want to file for divorce. He said that my complaining was pushing him away and I was giving up in our marriage so easily. It's like he wants me to take all that treatment and suck it up like nothing is wrong in our marriage. I told him that this marriage has fallen apart and I don't want to be in it anymore and he said that I am over thinking everything and will start acting like everything is fine the next day and contact me for a day or two to see how I am doing then it goes back to the same old thing.



Quoting SageAdvice:

 Didn't I already answer this tonight?



Sometimes the nicest thing one can do is love yourself enough to walk away and start over without the other person.



He doesn't seem to care, nor want to work on your marriage, and he's possibly simply waiting for you to take the hint and leave.




MammaPaparazza
by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 1:19 AM
((((Hugs)))))
I think I could have written this except mine is here in the house. I never thought I'd say the words but tonight I was very serious when I asked if we should split up and I'm shocked to say that he didn't immediately say no.
However, oddly enough- I'm ok with it.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 25, 2013 at 8:05 AM
1 mom liked this
:( Maybe, that's what I need. I want him to say that he wants the divorce as well instead of just telling me that I'm the one giving up in our marriage.

Quoting MammaPaparazza:

((((Hugs)))))
I think I could have written this except mine is here in the house. I never thought I'd say the words but tonight I was very serious when I asked if we should split up and I'm shocked to say that he didn't immediately say no.
However, oddly enough- I'm ok with it.
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