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Would you let a 10 year old...*vent* *Update*

monitor his own medication? 


My 10 year old is on Concerta for his ADHD and Zoloft for his  OCD. He has to take these meds every day, even when he's not in school. The Zoloft is very dangerous if you go cold turkey off of it. 

While he was in California with my exhusband, I would call my ex daily to make sure that kiddo was getting his meds. We've had problems with him getting his meds while he was there before. Every day, I get told yes. 

Well, Kiddo comes home after being in California for five weeks, with TWO FULL pill bottles. Like, more than full. They combined the two prescriptions that were sent out. There were 34 pills in one bottle and 35 in the other. 

I flipped shit and called my ex. Apparently he would tell our son to go take his medicine. My son would jiggle the pill bottles, drink some water and my ex was satisfied. He never once actually gave a pill to my son. 

So I told him that if he can't get off his lazy ass and actually give him and watch him take his pills, he is never coming out there again. (Visitation in our divorce decree is listed as "Visits  are at Mother's discrection") 

So what does the ex do... calls our son and tells our son that I said because he didn't take his medicine, he can't go to his dad's house anymore. My son then texts me and tells me he's sorry for being so stupid. 

WTF? Why on earth would he call a child and tell a child that. It was my ex's responsibility as a parent to make sure the meds were being taken. Not the 10 year old. My eye is twitching. 

Update 

My son was not taking his pills because now that he's on the right doseage and the pills are doing what they are supposed to, he feels fine and feels like he doesn't need them anymore. Which is why when he's at my house, I make sure he takes them every day. 


by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:26 AM
Replies (21-30):
BewitchedKisses
by Silver Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM

No, he is not developmentally delayed. But he also has his own mind, and he had made up his mind that he was feeling fine and didn't need the pills anymore. There are many adults that take pills and do the same thing my son did. 

When he was 6 he would take them with no issues. He doesn't feel like he needs them now. 

Quoting Allie_kat1:

Is your son developmentally delayed because of his condition? I can tell my 4yr old to go take her meds (vitamin, probiotic and certain times of the year allergy meds) and she takes them no problem. I set out the meds as I'm getting breakfast ready because she can't yet open the child proof covers, and she usually says when she's done eating that she will go take her medicine, only about 1/10 times do I even need to remind her.


Quoting BewitchedKisses:

He doesn't want to take them because he feels fine. The meds make him feel fine. So he thinks he's better and he doesn't need them anymore. A lot like adults on meds. 

I had to sit him down and talk to him about what could happen if he stops taking his meds cold turkey again. 

Quoting Allie_kat1:

At 10, the child should be trusted to take his meds, possibly with a reminder. Especially considering he went through the effort to shake the bottles and get a drink, he knew what he was doing. I think you should be trying to figure out why your child is lying and scheming to get out of taking his meds.




BewitchedKisses
by Silver Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:52 AM

So you condone an adult playing mindgames with a child? 

The adult didn't do what he was told he had to do because of his son not wanting to take his meds, chose to trust a 10 year old that doesn't want to take his meds, and then called him to yell at him for not taking them. My ex was well aware of what the medication situation was like prior to our son going to his house. He was told that he would have to GIVE the pills and WATCH him take them or he wouldn't take them. He agreed. Then didn't do it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Your son purposely deceived him. He's 10. My 6 year old is more responsible than that. I'm your ex's eyes, he was monitoring him. He told him to do it every day and he "heard" him do it.

And normally I wouldn't condone your ex going back to your son and saying that, but I think your son needs to know the possible back lash of lying and manipulating.


tracy0812
by Silver Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:53 AM
It depends on the kid. My kid-no way. He hates having to take his meds and has tried to sneak not taking them.

I did let him "get away" with it one night. He didn't take the med that helps his mind quiet so he can rest and sleep. He was awake the entire night, and I sent him to school the next morning. Natural consequences. Backfired!! He finally fell asleep the next night around 11:30.
spooky415
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by Ruby Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:53 AM
While your husband should have made sure that he takes them, at 10, its really time to have a serious heart to heart with your child about the importance of taking his medication. He could be on these meds for a loooong time. The importance of understanding that feeling good and healthy is because of the medication is really important.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:55 AM

Zoloft is the mildest anti-depressant on the market, with little to no side affects whatsoever.  Going off of it cold turkey is nothing.  Been there, done that.  I love how doctors will tell you anything to keep you on their string.

BewitchedKisses
by Silver Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:57 AM

Exhusband. lol 

And we did. I sat him down and talked about why he was feeling so bad and why he kept throwing up and having cold sweats and shaking. I told him that he needs to take his pills because his pills are what was making him feel okay. He realizes what he did was wrong and understands now. He's promised he won't do it again. 

Quoting spooky415:

While your husband should have made sure that he takes them, at 10, its really time to have a serious heart to heart with your child about the importance of taking his medication. He could be on these meds for a loooong time. The importance of understanding that feeling good and healthy is because of the medication is really important.


autodidact
by Snarknado on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:58 AM

not to absolve your ex of his responsibility to parent, but do you /would you punish your son's behavior as lying?

BewitchedKisses
by Silver Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:59 AM

So you say. Between the Zoloft and the Concerta, he was having major withdrawal symptoms. Cold sweats, constant vomiting, shaking, double vision, headaches, he lost five pounds. And for a kid that's 4'11" and 72 pounds on a good day, that's a lot of weight


Quoting Anonymous:

Zoloft is the mildest anti-depressant on the market, with little to no side affects whatsoever.  Going off of it cold turkey is nothing.  Been there, done that.  I love how doctors will tell you anything to keep you on their string.


BewitchedKisses
by Silver Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM
Quoting autodidact:

not to absolve your ex of his responsibility to parent, but do you /would you punish your son's behavior as lying?

Yes I do. He is grounded for lying. No video games, no computer (he had to hand-write his book report), no legos. He has his books and his room and that's all he gets. He understands what he did is wrong. Although sometimes I wish I had that magical pen that Dolores Umbridge had. =)

spooky415
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by Ruby Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM
Sorry, that's what I meant.

I have OCD, I know what its like to have a love-hate relationship with your meds. On one hand, I hate feeling so dependent on them. Its almost like it causes an anxiety all its own. But on the other hand, I love that they've given me the chance to live my life. I used to have to scrub the floors "tile by tile" and I couldn't even think of driving because I'd see myself purposely swerving into traffic and hitting someone head on...and then I'd stat counting the lines on the road to stop myself. My life was just non-stop "What if I do this?" "What if I can't stop myself?" "I have to do this now or I'm going to do that" and without Lexapro...I wouldn't be a grown-up. So please, keep talking to your son. I'm sure he has every intention of not doing it again but at that age, they're so young, you know?


Quoting BewitchedKisses:

Exhusband. lol 

And we did. I sat him down and talked about why he was feeling so bad and why he kept throwing up and having cold sweats and shaking. I told him that he needs to take his pills because his pills are what was making him feel okay. He realizes what he did was wrong and understands now. He's promised he won't do it again. 

Quoting spooky415:

While your husband should have made sure that he takes them, at 10, its really time to have a serious heart to heart with your child about the importance of taking his medication. He could be on these meds for a loooong time. The importance of understanding that feeling good and healthy is because of the medication is really important.


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