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ODD isn't fake

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Why do people tend to think it doesn't exist? It isn't a fake disorder. I have been dealing with this disorder for  almost 5 years with my ds. all of my ds principals, vice principals, and teacher for the past 5 years know it is in fact a real disorder. ODD is more than a misbehaved child.  There is more to it than that.


Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 25, 2013 at 8:42 PM
Replies (161-170):
xElizabethx
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 3:22 AM

I didn't want this label slapped on DD. Having a child with ODD does not mean you're officially allowed to give up. Instead, you have to work harder and be more creative than the average parent. I totally understand where you're coming from. I thought the same thing a couple years ago. When my daughter suddenly went from quirky and independent (but a rule follower) to writing on the walls in her own blood, I had to take a step back and reconsider what I thought about ODD and discipline. You simply cannot tell an ODD child to behave and have it work. They don't care if you take things away, ground them, threaten them with consequences, deliver the consequences...etc. They just simply do not care. 

Nothing about the past year of my life has let me off the hook. I have spent every damn day working with DD and trying to find a solution. It took exactly a year for us to make any real headway and even now things are still tough. She has a lot of triggers because she simply cannot cope. She doesn't even try to cope. She thinks differently than the average kid and spins things. Things were so bad that back in May when she attacked me I was actually relieved because I hoped the police would finally be able to do something (the police, social services, our privately paid mental health professionals, the FAP board, and more had been trying to find a way to get DD the care she needed so she could stabilize since January). That should give you an idea of just how bad it was. Thankfully, a little perspective did wonders for DD. Also, we always had rules, rewards, and consequences. It wasn't like DD was running wild her entire life. She went from relatively "normal" to acting insane in just days. We lost control very quickly even though we were intentionally trying to keep it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Lack of discipline

My child WILL behave! That outrageous behavior is not acceptable. 

You don't have to agree with me, go ahead and suffer through this as you chose too, by getting this "dx" you are not helping your child in any way what so ever. It only lets you "off the hook". 


xElizabethx
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 3:28 AM

My DD did relatively well with controlling herself at school and with family and friends. It wasn't until things started to get really bad that her behavior became obvious outside of our home. ODD and similar disorders are typically obvious when there are authority figures around. For DD, she was fine with you unless you "crossed her" (her words). Basically, as long as you didn't tell her no or try to make her do something she didn't want to do her behavior was fairly mild. She also wouldn't act out in public; instead, she would shut down and just stop functioning.

If your friend's grandchild has ODD they need to be in some sort of guided therapy like CBT or DBT. The goal is to set limits through the use of structure, while teaching the kid to cope with his or her surroundings, feelings, and urges. Most kids don't want to participate in treatment even though they can acknowledge they don't like how they feel. It takes time and a VERY steady and calm caregiver. DD knows right from wrong and she knows what is expected of her but in her worst moments there was no way she could control herself or even make a decent decision. We're getting to a place now where she can stop and calm herself most of the time. She no longer meets the criteria for ODD.

Quoting RobinChristine:

Not a bash, and not trying to be funny but...

When diagnosed with ODD i is it possible for kids to control themselves in certain situations?

I have a friend who is custodial grandma and E just  was diagnosed early spring. At home she shows all the signs BUT at school no trouble.

 Grandma is not the only adult in the home,E also lives with 2 other grandparent figures,should grandma be the only one  telling E what to do? Should they sit down as a family and have a meeting basically saying this is what we  expect from you? E lives with grandma because her moms fiance and her do not get along and things were getting to difficult for all involved


xElizabethx
by Silver Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 3:34 AM

I kind of agree with what you've said here. DD was first slapped with an ADHD label in 3rd grade and we just never saw it. She never responded to any of the medication for it so we discontinued them more than once. DD has been hospitalized four times in a mental health unit in the last 12 months and every time she was there they pressed the ADHD issue again. There seems to be a flow to it...ADHD...then ODD...then CD (conduct disorder)...then bipolar/borderline personality disorder.

In DD's case, she definitely has issues related to attachment because of the neglect she suffered during the first year of her life. It is pretty common for people who experienced abuse/neglect as a young child to end up with some sort of attachment disorder or behavioral issue. It has taken us a year to get to where we are now and we're finally seeing improvement. The improvement didn't happen because of medications or hospitalizations. Structure, limits, support systems, parenting classes, mental health education, and respite care brought about the positive changes for us and it took a LONG time for the changes to start taking place.

Quoting Summerlion1123:

My guess is that it is very real, but like ADHD its way over diagnosed and is usually just parents being too lazy to parent. No way there are as many kids with ODD and ADHD as you hear about on cafemom.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:17 AM

did you even read my post?

Quoting Anonymous:

Their is no off the hook for this disorder. And discipline.... yeah the discipline that would be required to make children like this behave would cross the line into child abuse. Discipline? My poor son eats and breathes discipline, as we are determined to make sure he can live as normal a life as possible. My ds stays in trouble more often than not. But you just go ahead and keep your head where it is. Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes, don't judge them or their children!


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:20 AM

my ds has trouble controling himself i any situation, rather it be school, or at the house. He even has  problems at church. at school we are currently got hims working with the schools social worker and he is working with him on coping skills, teaching him how to cope and how to control his anger.

Quoting RobinChristine:

Not a bash, and not trying to be funny but...

When diagnosed with ODD i is it possible for kids to control themselves in certain situations?

I have a friend who is custodial grandma and E just  was diagnosed early spring. At home she shows all the signs BUT at school no trouble.

 Grandma is not the only adult in the home,E also lives with 2 other grandparent figures,should grandma be the only one  telling E what to do? Should they sit down as a family and have a meeting basically saying this is what we  expect from you? E lives with grandma because her moms fiance and her do not get along and things were getting to difficult for all involved


Christyabbey
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:21 AM

Opposition Defiance Disorder

Quoting Anonymous:

Odd stands for. .


CountryStrong84
by Gold Member on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:22 AM

Ill be honest...I think its crap. Im sure there are few cases where its real...but some how it seems like every aspect of anyones personality has a disorder attatched to it. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:23 AM

If a child has truely has ODD there is no denying it. My ds has classic signs of ODD. And you can tell with him. I am not sure about others but i know for a fact that ds has it. I didn't even know what it was until the doctor told me that he suspected he had it along with adhd, i asked what the hell is ODD.

Quoting Summerlion1123:

My guess is that it is very real, but like ADHD its way over diagnosed and is usually just parents being too lazy to parent. No way there are as many kids with ODD and ADHD as you hear about on cafemom.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 21 on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree it isnt fake 

It has another name  

TKIAB

That kis is a brat

Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Mam this reply was meant for the poster who insulting stated that parents use this dx to get off the hook for parenting. It was posted in the wrong spot, and if it was my error, I am sorry.
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