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My husband NEVER helps me do anything

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Im on the brink of a mental break down. Yes he works outside of home, I work from home (A real job not some pyramid scam) and our two kids are with me all day. Its HELL. I cant get anything done and they are always taring our house apart while im trying to do my work. I always manage to have dinner ready for him when he gets home though. Yes our laundry is out of control and there are usually dishes in the sink. He never helps with any of it. He doesnt do his own laundry and I cant even get him to take the trash to the curb on trash day. Yes he does work hard outside of the home but I NEED SOME HELP with this stuff. I cant watch the kids, work, and do all of this at the same time. Its too much. Were in the middle of a move and he wont take a day off to help me so im stuck doing it all by myself, with a 2yo and a 4yo. He said "Well I have Sunday off and ill help you move the couch" UHG. I wish he could stop being a work a holic for one day and just help a little. All im asking for is for him to help with a few chores. For him to stop leaving his dishes all over the house and for him to at LEAST pick up after himself. He throws his dirty clothes all over and expects me to walk after him cleaning up.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 28, 2013 at 4:43 PM
Replies (11-18):
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:10 PM

what are his consequences for not helping? you complain some times? I would do what the experts recommend. make a list of daily, weekly, monthly tasks. let him pick which ones he wants. make sure he is taking enough to be fair to you. Make a sticker chart if need be.

when he doesnt get his stuff done, there needs to be a consequence. that is the hard part you need to determine. does he have fun money in your budget? do you do something nice for him like message? these are all things that can be taken away if he can't respect you enough to be a good partner.

by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:11 PM

Sounds like my ex sick of the same fights over and over, divorced. Now I have a man that not only busts his butt at work, helps me around the house. All you can do is ask ask ask. And then decide whether to just deal with it, or move on.

by Kate on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:13 PM

He should at the very least be cleaning up after himself. He's a grown man!

by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:15 PM

Ugh!!!!! I could have written this myself. I'm dealing with the same exact stuff. Its so frustrating. :(

by Silver Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:16 PM
Well we don't have intimacy issues, but a lot of times I'll just leave my ds with hubby and walk away. Anything of my husbands (except clothes) I pile on the garage steps and that kind of "forces" him to put it away. As for the trash I (lovingly) remind him it has to be out by the next morning.

Quoting Anonymous:

How do you deal with it? Mine hardly ever even has sex with me anymore.

Quoting MamaBurmie:

Sounds like my husband

by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:17 PM
Tell him to man up or move out
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:18 PM

pay a maid to come in while you are there

by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:22 PM

My WAH friends have nannies. IMO it's impossible to work when you're also responsible for a (potentially) screaming toddler. 
Also your husband is a father and an adult, so it's his responsibility to care for the children he helped create and the house he lives in. I wouldn't tolerate anything less from my husband, regardless of what my employment situation was. 

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