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do you tell your husband everything? would you tell him about this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Ok im going to have a vbac and signed a consent form today where it says all the risks. Im not sure I want to show him cause I think it will scare him and he would not let me do it. I know that its my body and there is really nothing he could do to stop me but in the mean while I have to live with him, and we would be constantly arguing about it. I don't know if I should show it to him or just let him be on board with it as he is now? He knows that there are risks but this does seem like its the absolute worst case scenarios. My doctor talked to me about it and assured me that if there was a problem they would know and id be getting a csec before it could cause and problems for me and baby. She said that they will watch me very close and that I don't need to worry because it is really just for liability issues.

** so I decided that i would just let him read it and if he wanted to ask questions id deal with it. He came home and I pulled out the paper he asked what it was and I told him it was the consent to vbac and if he wanted to read it. ..he said no. :/ ehh I guess I worry about stuff too much.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
happykitty316
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:09 PM

There's a list of scary stuff for pretty much any medical procedure.  Docs have to cover themselves.  So as long as your husband knows there are risks, I wouldn't worry him with a specific list of worst case scenarios.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:10 PM

yes and yes. and even if i didn't show him, dh would still do his research and see all of the risks anyway.

strictmomhere
by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Dont show him :) men freak out
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:11 PM

I would make sure he understands the risks and involved knows how your doc and you both feel in your specific case.  I wouldn't necessarily have him read through this form if all its going to do is scare him. No point in causing unnecessary worry for him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:12 PM
Well my husband is quite lazy about researching, if I find something to support what im talking about he will read it but that's it.


Quoting Anonymous:

yes and yes. and even if i didn't show him, dh would still do his research and see all of the risks anyway.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:12 PM

I had a vbac with my second ds, my then bf (now dh) I wanted him to be a part of this decision. After what his sister went through (Not vbac but had a rupture and needed a transfusion) I felt he had a right to know the ins and outs of this.... he is deathly scared of needles but he appreciated being a part of the processs...

WickedWahine314
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:13 PM

I would talk to him about the risks only so that he doesnt feel blindisded if something happened. 

bcoll
by Brandi on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:14 PM

 He would research it on his own, but yes, I would tell him anyway.

saralizjr
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:14 PM

hospitals always do that mom, i always have to sign one that's much scary then that being myself a c-section ( going on my 5th) wills and etc...lol...kinda like signing 2 ur death

baquick
by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:14 PM
You need him to have your back on your decisions. And he needs to know what's going on. If dh was having major surgery (closest comparison I can think of) and didn't tell me all the risks/concerns and something went south and I needed to make a decision on the fly I might make the wrong one for his wishes or be uninformed and make a bad one. I wouldn't risk it personally. I know I wouldn't want to blindsided and make a rushed decision.
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