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I dont want to plan my wedding, I would rather get married in front of a judge

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:10 AM
  • 33 Replies
1 mom liked this

My fiance and i have been engaged for a year now and are wedding date is set for March 21, 2015, i don't want to have a huge wedding but i guess down here in the South "its go big or go home"(I'm from the North) and today i found out that I'm going to basically be competing with his brother and his soon to be wife on who can have the most Expensive/Extravagant wedding... i don't want that i don't want to spend thousands of thousands of dollars on a wedding, yeah it would be nice but we don't have the kind of money, i would rather get married in front of a judge with just some close friends and family but my fiance being from the south doesn't want this and wont even considerate it.. its only 100.00 to get married in front of a judge VS god knows how much for a wedding... what i don't get is why its soooooo important to have a huge ass wedding that no one is going to remember years down the road?

by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mattiehatter
by Mary on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:12 AM
I would have rather eloped myself. The wedding is just one day and thousands of dollars don't dictate your marriage.
alison35
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:13 AM
I completely agree. My husband was due to ship out when he proposed and my FIL offered 10 grand toward a wedding and we decided we'd rather put it down on a house or something instead. It's just a day and not what really matters.
RayneofTerror
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:16 AM

We got married at the JP. Then we had a small affair later. I could have done with out the wedding part, but I thought is was something that had to be done. I was so naive. Now I wish we would have just done the JP wedding and called it good. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:19 AM

Why not see if you can compromise and have a wedding, but not a huge one?  My wedding was beautiful, food was catered by family, decorations also made by talented family, and costs about a thousand total (including my wedding dress).  We didn't go into debt and it wasn't extravagant, but it was OURS.  I have found memories of the day and lots of pics (and video).  The thing to remember is the important part isn't the wedding, but the marriage.

Why is your wedding so far in the future?  You could pull together a nice wedding in a few months time and then you won't be competing with your brother in law.  When I got married, I was just excited to move in with my husband and start our life together. 

TattedReader
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:20 AM
I got married at the court house because the thought of a wedding was stupid to me. I'm a shy person, I don't like being the center of attention.

Now I truly regret it. I see all my friends planning weddings and getting dresses and I wish I could go back and do it all over. I think it's also a mental thing. A large wedding is a way to declare your love in front of everyone you know. Ours was like sneaking away to do it without anyone knowing. Ugh
TableforSeven
by Ruby Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:24 AM
Why in the world would anyone be engaged for 2.5 YEARS??!! Just run off tomorrow and elope! DH and I eloped. We had been dating for 6 months and were engaged for 5 of those months -would have eloped sooner, but we had other things to deal with first.
Yukino
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:27 AM

i wish we could have a small wedding but he wants a huge one his words are "i'm only getting married once so why not go out with a huge dang" and its so far in the future cause we are a single income family and we have 3 kids to support also and we wanted to wait till our youngest could walk she is only 3 months old right now

Quoting Anonymous:

Why not see if you can compromise and have a wedding, but not a huge one?  My wedding was beautiful, food was catered by family, decorations also made by talented family, and costs about a thousand total (including my wedding dress).  We didn't go into debt and it wasn't extravagant, but it was OURS.  I have found memories of the day and lots of pics (and video).  The thing to remember is the important part isn't the wedding, but the marriage.

Why is your wedding so far in the future?  You could pull together a nice wedding in a few months time and then you won't be competing with your brother in law.  When I got married, I was just excited to move in with my husband and start our life together. 



HistoryNutty
by Ruby Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:27 AM
We eloped on a whim. Not one single regret six years later. We didn't want a large wedding, I hate being center of attention, so it was the best option for us.

Plus, I have no clue how to plan a wedding.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:31 AM

I begged and begged to just go to Vegas (an hour away) and get married there. My husband, for who knows what stupid reason, thought that meant that I had been planning a wonderul, extravagant, huge wedding my whole life. Could not have been further from the truth. But he went and told EVERYONE that we were going to have a huge wedding. He invited people, he asked some of his nieces to be flower girls, he basically put me in a corner where if I backed out, his entire family would hate me for the rest of forever. I still haven't forgiven him for it, haha. Trust me, you will be happier if you set your foot down and tell him no right now. My family knew I didn't want that wedding any more than I wanted a root canal. It was that kind of tension that I think started a lot of the arguments and there are people who I still can't talk to because of what happened, all so I could plan the wedding my husband was dreaming of ever since he was a little girl (can you tell I'm a little bitter? haha). It's supposed to be YOUR day. Just tell him you want the small quiet one and he can suck it.

Princess_s21
by Sarah on Aug. 29, 2013 at 3:34 AM

 You should do what you want to do, or meet in the middle, it shouldnt be a competition, you can still have a nice wedding without the huge affair. In the end its the marriage that really matters, not the Wedding.

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