Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"I left my job, house, and family to move across country with a man I met online"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 28 Replies

My childhood best friend met a guy online around the beginning of the year. They have been talking for months. online...skype...over the phone...basically, they have been having a long-distance relationship. the only thing is, they had never met in person. she says this guy is amazing, sweet, and all around perfect. so a month ago she tells us all she is moving across country to be with him. when I say across country I'm not exaggerating. we live in texas and he is in hawaii.

of course I voice my concerns...not trying to talk her out of it just making sure she is positive of her decision. i even suggest maybe she just initially visit. but she is insistent that she loves him, they are getting married, and want  to start a family....besides "hawaii is going to be so awesome...even if things don't work out she will probably just stay" (her words).

So she's there for a week and calls crying because his family doesn't like her. She spent all her money getting there so can't afford to get home and he won't pay for it. So...I funded her return home.

My question is, to some degree, is this not her fault? I mean, she disregarded all advice. she dropped everything with no real security. she had never met the man face to face. she is mad at me for not agreeing with her that she is a victim. how is she a victim for disregarding all logic and making a completely ridiculous decision?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:10 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:12 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, it's her fault. As grown ups we're allowed to act on impulse to an extent, but you won't catch me falling in "love" and giving everything up for anyone, it's just not smart.

TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:12 AM

 Of COURSE he was "perfect".  She had NEVER MET HIM.  He was a figment of her imagination.  He wasn't reality, because she didnt' actually know him. 

Some people have no sense at all.  Of course it is her fault.  She isn't a victim.  She set herself up for this and didn't have a back up plan. Dumb, dumb, dumb.  She should at least own it. 

 

 

ButterMeUp
by Butters on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:12 AM

Shes fucking stupid. How to grown ass adults for for this bullshit. I mean really, if shes was 12 I could under this happening but not a got damn adult. I would have let her ass stay there until she saved up the money to bail her own self out. I refuse to clean up others unnecessary messes. What a dumb ass. 

*If you read my post and there are mistakes in my spelling or grammar please note that I never learned either in school and I am currently learning them now. If you see a mistake POLITELY point it out and I'll be more than happy to correct my mistake. Here's a fun little siggy for your enjoyment. *

MichelleJ1000
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:15 AM
People can be anything on the internet but in person is a different story. She is not the victim because she was given advice and ignored it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:15 AM
Yeah. She bears responsibility for her actions. She's not a victim IMO.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:15 AM

I considered leaving her there but she literally had no money and no where to go, in a (basically) foreign land. she was able to get her old job back, so she should have me paid back within a month.


Quoting ButterMeUp:

Shes fucking stupid. How to grown ass adults for for this bullshit. I mean really, if shes was 12 I could under this happening but not a got damn adult. I would have let her ass stay there until she saved up the money to bail her own self out. I refuse to clean up others unnecessary messes. What a dumb ass. 



allornone
by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:19 AM

Catfish?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:19 AM
even though it wasnt the best decision, thats your best friend aren't you supposed to stick by her and tell her what she wants to hear?
our.love.story
by Platinum Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:20 AM

It's definitely her "fault" but I understand being caught up in the emotions. I met my hubby online, we talked for months while he went to Basic and AIT and then he came to visit and we got married (without telling anyone) and I moved to his duty station. I got really lucky cause mine turned out to be truly amazing and we made sure to visit first but it was only for about 2 weeks and we married 8 days after truly meeting. It sucks it happened but she's lucky you were there to help her out, I hope she realizes that.

Lil_Wolf
by Bronze Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:21 AM

She is a victim of her own bad decisions. The fsct that she cannot (will not) see this is her problem & not yours. People like this are always mad at people for not seeing things their way. Don't let it bother you. You tried to do the right thing & give her a heads up of what could happen if she failed to see reason &that is all you can do. She has to deal with the consequences of her choices.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)