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... well ... we warned him ... - update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Yesterday, we were visiting with my family. SS, who is six, saw a show about ghosts (I think it was called The Haunted) and begged DH to watch it.

DH finally told him that he could watch it if he wanted, but even if he got scared, he'd still have to sleep alone in his room (which is upstairs on the landing). He watched less than ten minutes of it before he asked us to switch to cartoons.

DH has been out all day enjoying the holiday with my family. I went by to see my family, and DH was sound asleep (partly due to beer, sun, and his 60 hour work week). I got DH home and he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. I got SS in bed, but as soon as I got downstairs he started calling for me.

He said he was scared and asked me to get DH. I told him that DH was already asleep. He started wailing that he watched a scary movie and now he's scared.

I told him I was sorry that he was scared, but reminded him that he begged and begged and begged to watch the show. I reminded him that we told him he would have to sleep in his own bed. I turned on his closet light, gave him an extra stuffed animal, and turned on the hall bathroom light, but he started crying again when I came downstairs.

I feel bad for leaving him alone when he's scared, but we did tell him that he'd still have to sleep alone. What would you do in this situation?

ETA : *I* did not let him watch the show. DH made that call.


update :

You guys make me laugh. You act like I told him, ‘by the way there's a soul sucking demon in your closet ... Sweet dreams!' No. I made sure he was comfortable, I gave him extra stuffed animals to sleep with, and I made sure he had plenty of light. I didn't cruelly say, ‘tough shit kid, deal with it.' However, I did remind him that it was a tv show that he thought he could handle and next time he would need to remember how those kind of shows make him feel.

For everyone saying that I should be pissed at DH, I don't see why. While I personally would have been more adamant that he not watch the show, it was a decision that was left up to DH. I love SS, but raising him is a job left to DH and BM. I will enforce their rules and follow their punishment, but I leave decisions making up to them - especially when it's a controversial decision.    

For everyone saying that they would never give into their children, it must be wonderful to be a perfect parent. Since you've never given in to begging, not even once, we should give you all an award. Personally, I believe kids should be given some freedom. Why fight and argue all evening? Why put SS in timeout for arguing and deal with an upset kid for the rest of the evening? SS was the only person having to deal with the effects of watching the show and if he thought he could handle it, why not let him give it a try?

I think you guys are selling your kids short. You don't let your kids take any chances and you try to justify it by saying ‘they are x age'. SS may be six, but he's a sharp kid. He knows the difference between tv and reality. I don't ever think children are ever too young to learn that actions have consequences: eating too many strawberries will make you sick, sliding around on the hardwoods in your socks can cause you to fall, and watching a scary tv show may keep you up at night. 

For the record, SS was asleep in minutes. He didn't wake up in the middle of the night. He didn't have nightmares. He woke up this morning and is doing wonderfully.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Platinum Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:18 PM
I would have gone in and held him. My dh had an unrational fear of aliens. Because when he was about that age his mother made him watch the aliens movies. And when he cried about being scared at night about the movies she did not comfort him and just let him lay in fear.
by Anonymous 11 on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:18 PM
3 moms liked this

Remember how you have felt when you have been scared and times that by a whole bunch and get your ass in there until he falls asleep "mom"

by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:19 PM

First there is no way I would have let my 6 year old WATCH a scary movie to begin with. It's as much you & your DH's fault so you should be comforting him instead of leaving him alone. 

by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:19 PM

i wouldn't have let my kids watch anything that i thought would give them nightmares/make them scared

But now that the damage is done i would have stayed and either turned some music on for him/read him a nice story/stay till he fell asleep.

by Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:20 PM
I would wake his father up and let him deal with it. His dad said it was ok for him to watch it then he should be the one to deal with the consequences. There is no way I'd let me DH sleep while he left me to clean up his mess. Especially if it was something he knew I wouldn't allow.
by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:22 PM

I would have brought him in bed with me and then used it as a learning tool in the future. As remember that time you wanted to watch that and this happened? Well no you may not watch whatever. But that's me. The child has to learn one way or another what he likes. So make him work for the thing and then if the kid doesn't like it use it to your advantage in the future. Have dh in on though. 

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:22 PM
I don't know why you put mom in parentheses. I assume it was to be insulting and to insinuate that I'm not his mom, which is correct.

Quoting Anonymous:

Remember how you have felt when you have been scared and times that by a whole bunch and get your ass in there until he falls asleep "mom"

by Gold Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:24 PM
Sounds like you knew he would be scared before even watching it! I would have said no and avoided my poor child scared out of his mind alone! I wouldn't be able to leave me kid trembling in fear even if those rules were set before watching the show
by Ruby Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:25 PM
Shoot when I was little that's all we watched. I grew up watching horror shows and at night my grandma put us in bed and cut all the lights out. We were scared of course but when your little it doesn't take a lot to put you to sleep. We lived thru it and we watched some scary stuff. That's all my grandma would allow when we had visits with her
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 31, 2013 at 11:26 PM
I don't think DH 'knew' he would be scared. SS watches much more mature shows when he's with his mom.

DH is just tired of SS harping. I personally would have stayed firm, but DH decided to let SS give the show a shot (it was one of those ghost hunters type shows).

Quoting Punchyobuns:

Sounds like you knew he was going to be scared if you let him watch it...

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