At bedtime they kept asking for him and I lied and told them he was at the store. Wth do I tell them? I have to get a job by Tuesday so I can try to show our agency that I can support myself and my children and pray to God that they do not take them from me. It's one thing to lose my hubby, but to lose my kids on top of that will kill me! I've been a mess all night. I haven't told anyone other than my mom and sisters.
I feel so lost!
I'll apologize now, I'm mobile and emotional.
Eta... So I have freaking mono. Apparently my old boss gets flare ups and this summer we had breakfast with the kids and I accidentally grabbed her plate, used her fork. Badabing, I'm always tired, everything hurts. I need more help. Three kids have been helping do chores, which I have been teaching them since they are old enough anyways. There are those days, or weeks apparently, where they just don't want to. I'd been building. He's been fed up at work, looking for something different, I've been super sick and exhausted, toddler is teething, and oldest 2 are fighting every 5 minutes. Mind you, my sis and brother in law just split up a month or 2 ago. Sister went wild. Mom now lives in little house behind ours, nephew lives with her. He is always at our house. Mil was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer and has surgery tomorrow. It's been building, I overreacted, asked why he couldn't make them pick up before church, he told me they were late. He stayed up till 1 am night before, kids were up till 11. I told him it was too late to expect them to be able to go to church in the am considering their bedtime is 730 and 8. He felt there was so much going on they all needed to go. Oh yes, I forgot, at one point he told me he works, I don't, he shouldn't have to do Anything when he gets home. When I worked I worked 45 or so hours a week, came home, ate dinner, did baths and bedtime, cleaned house and kitchen, load of laundry, then bed whenever that was all done. He would, have 2 or 3 yrs after work to relax, then get kids, help with homework while watching TV, cook dinner or take out of crockpots if I cooked. Then watch TV till bed.
Did I leave any questions unanswered? I'm tired been up tossing and turning all night.
I was doing laundry and turned around and there he was. He scared the hell out of me. He just grabbed me in a huge bear hug and kept apologizing. No, we are not OK. We definitely need to talk and figure things out, but he is home. He woke up looking for us and couldn't figure out why he was at his grandparents. He thought it was a nightmare. I just wanted to give a quick update. We are going to go figure out where we go from here and what we BOTH need to change and/or do to help each other and support each other. Once again, I will say, yes I could have dinner things differently. I was definitely in the wrong and i apologized to him before he left to the ranch the first time. The thing is, I was not the only one who was in the wrong.
Thank you to those who are being supportive and understanding. Especially those offering sage advice. To you perfect mommies, I'll look for your reality show or nightmare on TV someday and pray you never are on the receiving end of the same bitterness and anger you spew.