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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He walked out without telling kids goodbye!?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 148 Replies
4 moms liked this
So yesterday hubby and I got into a fight. He went to church with the kiddos and when I woke up the house was a mess! I was the last one in bed so I picked up the entire house. I literally walked downstairs and turned and walked back up. When they came home I had apparently just dozed off. We got into a fight because I told him he needed to make them pick up after themselves and help them. He replied it was hard getting 5 kids ready and they were running late. I threw a fit, told him I do it everyday and cannot understand how he feels that is an excuse? Mind you we decided that since we had 5 kids I would quit my really nice job, give up my check and bonus every month. He went to the ranch with a few of the kids and when he came home I was watching a movie with my mom and baby girl. When my mom left he told me he was done and ready to leave. Idk what to say and was so irritated that he thought because I asked for help picking up that it was OK to act like that and threatened me. I picked up my tablet and was just flipping thru pages, trying to think. He got mad that I would rather play on my tablet than talk to him. I thought he was bluffing and was trying to avoid an argument with the kids in the other room. By the end of the night he told me that he was sorry he wasted the last 7 years of my life, the kids were better off in another home, (we're foster parents and getting ready to adopt) he had the nerve to tell me that the children we have raised and loved for the last 3 years were better off without us and he would not adopt. I'm heartbroken. Not only did my husband walk out on me and tell me he was not happy with me. He is giving up on our kids who adore him and have told him he is their best daddy because he is always there for them. Now he's walking away from them, from me, like we don't even matter. How he could look at our children and just walk out the door without a single goodbye, I'll never know.
At bedtime they kept asking for him and I lied and told them he was at the store. Wth do I tell them? I have to get a job by Tuesday so I can try to show our agency that I can support myself and my children and pray to God that they do not take them from me. It's one thing to lose my hubby, but to lose my kids on top of that will kill me! I've been a mess all night. I haven't told anyone other than my mom and sisters.
I feel so lost!
I'll apologize now, I'm mobile and emotional.

Eta... So I have freaking mono. Apparently my old boss gets flare ups and this summer we had breakfast with the kids and I accidentally grabbed her plate, used her fork. Badabing, I'm always tired, everything hurts. I need more help. Three kids have been helping do chores, which I have been teaching them since they are old enough anyways. There are those days, or weeks apparently, where they just don't want to. I'd been building. He's been fed up at work, looking for something different, I've been super sick and exhausted, toddler is teething, and oldest 2 are fighting every 5 minutes. Mind you, my sis and brother in law just split up a month or 2 ago. Sister went wild. Mom now lives in little house behind ours, nephew lives with her. He is always at our house. Mil was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer and has surgery tomorrow. It's been building, I overreacted, asked why he couldn't make them pick up before church, he told me they were late. He stayed up till 1 am night before, kids were up till 11. I told him it was too late to expect them to be able to go to church in the am considering their bedtime is 730 and 8. He felt there was so much going on they all needed to go. Oh yes, I forgot, at one point he told me he works, I don't, he shouldn't have to do Anything when he gets home. When I worked I worked 45 or so hours a week, came home, ate dinner, did baths and bedtime, cleaned house and kitchen, load of laundry, then bed whenever that was all done. He would, have 2 or 3 yrs after work to relax, then get kids, help with homework while watching TV, cook dinner or take out of crockpots if I cooked. Then watch TV till bed.

Did I leave any questions unanswered? I'm tired been up tossing and turning all night.

Edit 3

I was doing laundry and turned around and there he was. He scared the hell out of me. He just grabbed me in a huge bear hug and kept apologizing. No, we are not OK. We definitely need to talk and figure things out, but he is home. He woke up looking for us and couldn't figure out why he was at his grandparents. He thought it was a nightmare. I just wanted to give a quick update. We are going to go figure out where we go from here and what we BOTH need to change and/or do to help each other and support each other. Once again, I will say, yes I could have dinner things differently. I was definitely in the wrong and i apologized to him before he left to the ranch the first time. The thing is, I was not the only one who was in the wrong.
Thank you to those who are being supportive and understanding. Especially those offering sage advice. To you perfect mommies, I'll look for your reality show or nightmare on TV someday and pray you never are on the receiving end of the same bitterness and anger you spew.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
strtngovrmom
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:24 AM

BUMP!

Kristanna
by Gold Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:26 AM

:/ I am so sorry...I don't even know what to say. Maybe he just needed to cool off and he will come to his senses. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:31 AM
6 moms liked this
I think you were way to harsh with your husband
bellawomen
by Summer on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:31 AM
14 moms liked this

I think you need to calm down.

For someone who does not take care of the children each morning and get them ready - you cannot expect him to do it perfectly.  I am sure it took you a while to get your morning routine down as well.  Give him a break.  Throwing a fit gets you no where and makes the situation worse.  He isn't you and will NOT do things like you.  However, you need to come to an agreement.

That said, you are responsible for teaching your children to clean up after themselves as well.  This was not a one time thing and they learn.

If you were going to sleep in, then maybe you could have been helpful enough to set everything out he would need for the morning OR have the children set out their things.

I would have been LIVID if I was trying to have a conversation with someone and they had their face stuck to an electronic device.  That is disrespectful.

As for him, I am hoping he is just really upset with you and your lack of respect of him.  I hope after a night or two he is able to cool off.  What he said is NOT acceptable.  That said, you also need to take responsibility for things you could have done better otherwise your conversation will NOT go well.

Ilaynasmommy
by Gold Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Hopefully he will change his mind and come back. It sounds like you don't appreciate him though. If you are only worried about it because you are afraid of losing the kids then he's right. I know that for me getting two kids ready his hard so I can imagine 5. You may have it down to a science but if he doesn't then it would be hard. I think you should have been more grateful he let you sleep in. Then it sounds like he tried to communicate and you ignored him. Very disrespectful. I think he was in the right. Hopefully he didn't say goodbye because he just needede to cool down. If he comes back you may want to work on appreciating him more. He actually sounds like a good dad.
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funlovinlady
by Gold Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:38 AM

You were way to hard on him. I forget & do the same to my dh sometimes but I am always quick to apologize, I KNOW he's not used to doing everything. He was gracious enough to let you rest & you jump his shit, I would have been mad to. 

VinhThiMom
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:43 AM

Maybe he's freaking out about the adoption and taking it out on you.

LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:46 AM
1 mom liked this
This!!!

Quoting Ilaynasmommy:

Hopefully he will change his mind and come back. It sounds like you don't appreciate him though. If you are only worried about it because you are afraid of losing the kids then he's right. I know that for me getting two kids ready his hard so I can imagine 5. You may have it down to a science but if he doesn't then it would be hard. I think you should have been more grateful he let you sleep in. Then it sounds like he tried to communicate and you ignored him. Very disrespectful. I think he was in the right. Hopefully he didn't say goodbye because he just needede to cool down. If he comes back you may want to work on appreciating him more. He actually sounds like a good dad.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:52 AM
3 moms liked this

 


Quoting Ilaynasmommy:

Hopefully he will change his mind and come back. It sounds like you don't appreciate him though. If you are only worried about it because you are afraid of losing the kids then he's right. I know that for me getting two kids ready his hard so I can imagine 5. You may have it down to a science but if he doesn't then it would be hard. I think you should have been more grateful he let you sleep in. Then it sounds like he tried to communicate and you ignored him. Very disrespectful. I think he was in the right. Hopefully he didn't say goodbye because he just needede to cool down. If he comes back you may want to work on appreciating him more. He actually sounds like a good dad.


 Good Dad's dont walk on their kids.  You were doing fine until you said that.

IF he comes back-get a job so he can't pull this shit again.

Punchyobuns
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:52 AM

Hopefully he needs some time to cool down. Maybe something else on his mind? I hope it all turns out okay.

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