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The Pangs of Jealousy

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
My SIL and I are due two days apart. This is her first and this one will hopefully be my second (I have had two miscarriages, this time I was put on progesterone and am currently 10weeks and 3 days.) Well, my mom is already planning my SIL's babyshower and things for SIL's baby. To be honest, it hurts. I know she is my SIL and I know this is her first. I know I have a dd, I know I have had miscarriages. I get not wanting to be excited yet, but I don't know. I can't describe the way I feel. My mom feels it would be better to have two baby showers for my SIL because apparently mine took so long (we played games, visited, ate, opened presents.) SIL gave my mom a list of specific items and my mom is okay with it. I am sorry, but I was raised to appreciate what I received. I'm sorry. At this point, I don't know what's wrong with me. :(
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:06 PM
Bump
truelyred2
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:08 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't agree in a baby shower for each baby. you had your baby shower. it's time for her to shine. grow up, get over yourself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:11 PM
To be honest I could care less about a baby shower for myself. It sucks seeing my mother more excited for my SIL. The same SIL my mother has repeatedly told my brother to leave because of the way SIL is.


Quoting truelyred2:

I don't agree in a baby shower for each baby. you had your baby shower. it's time for her to shine. grow up, get over yourself.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:12 PM
1 mom liked this
You had your babyshower. This is her first, it's her turn now. This has nothing to do with your prior miscarriages, this is about the fact that you already had a kid and a babyshower. Let your SIL get her moment to shine. You're feeling jealous because they're not making a big deal over you but again, its not your first. Stop being selfish and let her get her turn. I see this issue all the time with women that have multiple kids. Thu expect everyone to be overjoyed each time they have a baby. The fact is, after the first baby, no one is really that excited.
instant
by Ruby Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:14 PM

Its not all about you! Let her be excited and be happy for her as well. You already had a baby shower :)


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:14 PM
Why isn't anyone excited over your pregnancy besides the miscarriages? Is it because you're not in a position to have kids? Do you have a strained relationship with your mom or family? They should be excited especially since you've lost other pregnancies. There has to be a reason behind it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:19 PM
I have a great job as does DH. We are financially able to care for a baby. We are staying with my mom but it is only to help them out because she can't physically work more than two days a week and my stepdad doesn't make enough to cover the bills alone.

I'm not worried about a babyshower for me. Yes, I have a four year old. I was a single mom when I met my now husband and I got rid of every baby thing I had because I didn't need it. We have been trying to have a successful pregnancy since 2011.


Quoting Anonymous:

Why isn't anyone excited over your pregnancy besides the miscarriages? Is it because you're not in a position to have kids? Do you have a strained relationship with your mom or family? They should be excited especially since you've lost other pregnancies. There has to be a reason behind it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:22 PM
How was the situation with your ex? Maybe it left a bad taste in your moms mouth and she doesn't have great memories of when you had your first? Something is up. It can't be just because she's afraid to get excited. There has to be some bad history there.


Quoting Anonymous:

I have a great job as does DH. We are financially able to care for a baby. We are staying with my mom but it is only to help them out because she can't physically work more than two days a week and my stepdad doesn't make enough to cover the bills alone.



I'm not worried about a babyshower for me. Yes, I have a four year old. I was a single mom when I met my now husband and I got rid of every baby thing I had because I didn't need it. We have been trying to have a successful pregnancy since 2011.




Quoting Anonymous:

Why isn't anyone excited over your pregnancy besides the miscarriages? Is it because you're not in a position to have kids? Do you have a strained relationship with your mom or family? They should be excited especially since you've lost other pregnancies. There has to be a reason behind it.


Qmama206
by Nobi ❤️ on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:24 PM
I agree to a certain extent. A baby shower IMO is for the 1st child unless you spaced your children incredibly far apart.


Quoting truelyred2:

I don't agree in a baby shower for each baby. you had your baby shower. it's time for her to shine. grow up, get over yourself.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:24 PM
My ex was an asshole. We split up because he was mentally and occasionally abusive towards me even during pregnancy. My mom tells me it's because of my miscarriages. But she was there for the first ultrasound and got to see the heartbeat and the baby.


Quoting Anonymous:

How was the situation with your ex? Maybe it left a bad taste in your moms mouth and she doesn't have great memories of when you had your first? Something is up. It can't be just because she's afraid to get excited. There has to be some bad history there.




Quoting Anonymous:

I have a great job as does DH. We are financially able to care for a baby. We are staying with my mom but it is only to help them out because she can't physically work more than two days a week and my stepdad doesn't make enough to cover the bills alone.





I'm not worried about a babyshower for me. Yes, I have a four year old. I was a single mom when I met my now husband and I got rid of every baby thing I had because I didn't need it. We have been trying to have a successful pregnancy since 2011.






Quoting Anonymous:

Why isn't anyone excited over your pregnancy besides the miscarriages? Is it because you're not in a position to have kids? Do you have a strained relationship with your mom or family? They should be excited especially since you've lost other pregnancies. There has to be a reason behind it.



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