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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Should I try this last- ditch effort?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

I'm really nervous and scared to do this but it is my second-to-last option when dealing with my children's father. We split up for many reasons, the main reason being drugs. He would come home frequently high on drugs. He went to rehab but it didn't stick.

Anyway, I am getting ready to file for sole custody and have his visitation removed. No idea if I will win or what will happen.

Before I do that, I thought maybe I should try an intervention first. Thing is, his family isn't too fond of me. His mom is a really nice person so I doubt she would hold our past against me but the rest of the family does. I'm also not in contact with them and haven't seen or talked to them in ages.

I tried confronting my ex on my own. He sat there picking at his face and chewing on his gums and saying all along that he hasn't hit the pipe in ages. He has ALL the signs of full swing drug addiction.

So...IDK, what do you think? How will a mom to a grown son react to the ex wife wanting to have an intervention? None of us really know, but would you do it?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 I wouldn't bother with an intervention at all. I would only bother with filing for divorce.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:21 PM



Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 I wouldn't bother with an intervention at all. I would only bother with filing for divorce.


Our divorce was final 5 years ago but we share custody. I am at the point now where I feel like he should no longer be around the kids but we have a legal agreement that would have to be changed in court. So you would just file for sole custody?

RaniNY
by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:21 PM
1. Interventions are for professionals to plan. 2. If taking away his rights to visitation isn't a wake up call, then forget the intervention. 3. I wouldn't tell them any of my ideas if most of them are against you.
TaughtTot
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:21 PM
1 mom liked this

My own opinion on how the courts work here

Being a drug addict doesn't make you an unfit parent unless you have proven to do things like, not have food, not have clothing, not tend to their health and day to day needs, etc   That is the only way you'd win out here, is if he has any of those things documented as taking away visits isn't something that is an option here unless there was abuse.


So I think you're probably putting your own feelings about him above your coparenting relationship and, to me at least, I see that as a problem most women have


Good Luck

]I think if he wanted to change with your help he would have, move on and work on coparenting.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:22 PM



Quoting RaniNY:

1. Interventions are for professionals to plan. 2. If taking away his rights to visitation isn't a wake up call, then forget the intervention. 3. I wouldn't tell them any of my ideas if most of them are against you.


I would involve a professional. But someone has to go TO the professional to help.

I meant trying this before I remove his rights.

Sorry, I guess I didn't word this well.

MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:22 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 

 

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 I wouldn't bother with an intervention at all. I would only bother with filing for divorce.

 

Our divorce was final 5 years ago but we share custody. I am at the point now where I feel like he should no longer be around the kids but we have a legal agreement that would have to be changed in court. So you would just file for sole custody?

 Sorry I misunderstood. But I still wouldn't do the intervention. I wouldn't care enough to. I would get an attorney and tell him to file for sole custody.

RaniNY
by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:24 PM
If you want to, but since there is child custody and your safety at stake, I would make sure the professional evaluated that, first and foremost.


Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting RaniNY:

1. Interventions are for professionals to plan. 2. If taking away his rights to visitation isn't a wake up call, then forget the intervention. 3. I wouldn't tell them any of my ideas if most of them are against you.



I would involve a professional. But someone has to go TO the professional to help.

I meant trying this before I remove his rights.

Sorry, I guess I didn't word this well.


vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:26 PM

Nope. 

vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:26 PM

Yes! Good luck mama! :)

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 I wouldn't bother with an intervention at all. I would only bother with filing for divorce.


Our divorce was final 5 years ago but we share custody. I am at the point now where I feel like he should no longer be around the kids but we have a legal agreement that would have to be changed in court. So you would just file for sole custody?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:27 PM



Quoting TaughtTot:

My own opinion on how the courts work here

Being a drug addict doesn't make you an unfit parent unless you have proven to do things like, not have food, not have clothing, not tend to their health and day to day needs, etc   That is the only way you'd win out here, is if he has any of those things documented as taking away visits isn't something that is an option here unless there was abuse.


So I think you're probably putting your own feelings about him above your coparenting relationship and, to me at least, I see that as a problem most women have


Good Luck

]I think if he wanted to change with your help he would have, move on and work on coparenting.

You mean my deafening rage? 

LOL Maybe. I hate him. He is lower than low. I just thought for my children's sake, I should try everything else before removing his rights, since getting rights removed is very difficult, if not impossible in my state.



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