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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Should I monitor SDs texts with BM?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

BM got out of prison a few months back, she lost her parental rights several years ago during another prison term. Anyways, I guess she is getting back on her feet got a phone and is trying to get a car. 

I raise SD with DH and have for the last 4 years. I'm in charge of the "mom stuff" during the day, and monitering her texts are one of them. Ever since her mom got a phone she's been texting a lot. The usual BS of course "I'm getting my stuff together for you, I still have custody of you(no, she doesn't)" which I let roll of my back as DH and I know the truth. But I've been refraining from checking SDs text bc I don't want something BM texted to piss me off. This afternon SD told me BM told her to join "life 360" -I guess an app to keep tabs on SD at all times? I just wonder what else is being said. BM is notorious for being inappropriate. 

Since I check her texts, does this go for BM's texts too? Or just go right over those.?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BrownEyedGirl86
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:14 PM
2 moms liked this
Absolutely

I think regardless if who she is texting you should check.
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:14 PM
1 mom liked this
My kid gets a phone I'll be monitoring all texts, I don't care if they came from my husband. Same for emails.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:20 PM


I get that but she's not technically my kid. And even though some of the things her mom does shock me I'm afraid to see something I dislike or BM talking bad of me and being the one to cause a wedge in their new found relationship :(

Quoting kailu1835:

My kid gets a phone I'll be monitoring all texts, I don't care if they came from my husband. Same for emails.



poohbearkfc
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:22 PM
I would definitely say you should be checking them.
villagemamma
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I think if you are doing all the usual mom stuff i would definitely monitor texts. that way you and your DH can help clear up and misinformation or concerns that you may have with the conversation. If you are not comfortable with it because you are the step mom than i would have your DH do it. I definitely think someone should though

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:24 PM
3 moms liked this

Ask your husband what he would like you to do.  If he says check them then do it!  

NiCo86
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:25 PM
I say absolutely
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:31 PM
I completely agree with this. Your kid his kid, your kid together, Phones, Texts, Facebook whatever they are using should be monitored daily if not morning, afternoon, bed time. My nieces and nephews all know they come into my house I check their phones.


Quoting villagemamma:

I think if you are doing all the usual mom stuff i would definitely monitor texts. that way you and your DH can help clear up and misinformation or concerns that you may have with the conversation. If you are not comfortable with it because you are the step mom than i would have your DH do it. I definitely think someone should though


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:33 PM


So from your point any adult with authority has the right/duty to check any texts, anytime.? But isn't SM VS BM kinda more sensitive of an area?

Quoting Anonymous:

I completely agree with this. Your kid his kid, your kid together, Phones, Texts, Facebook whatever they are using should be monitored daily if not morning, afternoon, bed time. My nieces and nephews all know they come into my house I check their phones.


Quoting villagemamma:

I think if you are doing all the usual mom stuff i would definitely monitor texts. that way you and your DH can help clear up and misinformation or concerns that you may have with the conversation. If you are not comfortable with it because you are the step mom than i would have your DH do it. I definitely think someone should though




Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:42 PM
Not really when you are checking all text not just Bm's. your responsible for your SD's safety and Unfortunately in this day and age checking all text are part of keeping our kids safe.


Quoting Anonymous:


So from your point any adult with authority has the right/duty to check any texts, anytime.? But isn't SM VS BM kinda more sensitive of an area?


Quoting Anonymous:

I completely agree with this. Your kid his kid, your kid together, Phones, Texts, Facebook whatever they are using should be monitored daily if not morning, afternoon, bed time. My nieces and nephews all know they come into my house I check their phones.





Quoting villagemamma:

I think if you are doing all the usual mom stuff i would definitely monitor texts. that way you and your DH can help clear up and misinformation or concerns that you may have with the conversation. If you are not comfortable with it because you are the step mom than i would have your DH do it. I definitely think someone should though







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