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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Moms who have been raped or have experience in that department--ADVICE PLEASE!

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:31 PM
  • 27 Replies

Last weekend Dsd (not Kensley's mom but my other Dsd) was at her friends house and apparently her friends mom got all pilled out and passed out. From what I hear this boy came over and brought beer for all the kids and they all got drunk.

let me stop for a minute and add that she does not live with us. She lives with her mom and asked at the beginning of the year if she could move in with us. I told her yes but we are a lot stricter in this household and she would have to follow the rules. She never asked again.


back to the story...so this boy ended up raping her and she didnt want to tell anyone but her friend made her tell her mom. Her mom immediately took her to the hospital and they did the rape kit on her as well as everything else they do for rape victims. As of now the boy and her friends mother have been locked up and she's already getting threats from people at her school.

I told DH that maybe she should move in with us for a while because we are a whole county over and we can get her therapy and into a new school system. He said something about her having to stay at her grandmothers house for a month for a defacs thing or whatever.

she has told me some wild stories about things her and her friends do. I've told her that shit like that don't fly in this house...and I'm not about to have a bunch of teenagers coming and going out of my house either. She has personally called defacs on her own mom several times for different things. Once she said that her mom knew she was molested as a child and never did anything about it. Once because she was self mutilating...she's very troubled and in and out of therapy.

I'm wanting to help her but I'm also scared because I know she puts her mom through a hard time. I also have my other Dsd (kensley's mom) and my baby to worry about too. What would be your advice to me about this situation and what should I expect with the rape thing because I've never been raped nor knew anyone who was raped?

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Brkn.halo.6712
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:33 PM

BUMP!

Brkn.halo.6712
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:33 PM

BUMP!

twade26
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:35 PM

Bump

AngelSinger
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it would be best if she got away from that school. If you do take her in, let her know the rules from day one and have her immediately put into therapy. She'll need it. Good luck.

BDolphins82
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:38 PM
Bump
Brkn.halo.6712
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:38 PM

That's what I was thinking. I've seen too many lifetime movies to know how stuff like this can turn out

Quoting AngelSinger:

I think it would be best if she got away from that school. If you do take her in, let her know the rules from day one and have her immediately put into therapy. She'll need it. Good luck.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:43 PM
Lay down the rules from day one. Let her know they're for her protection. Make sure she knows you want her there because you love her and want to help her. Get her into therapy. Being in a different school would help a lot. Good luck to all of you. This isn't a good situation to have to deal with. Rape victims need to know they're not being punished. She's not being sent away from mom for being bad - she's being brought to you to heal.
CorCrox
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this
There isn't one answer. People react in such varying ways. I will say that she needs love and support, no blame (not that you are doing that at all) and STRUCTURE. If she gets into therapy and adheres to rules now, you can help her put a stop to her high risk behavior.

Also, there's a book called Recovering From Rape by Linda E. Ledray. It has sections for the survivor and significant other, but could be helpful for the parent, too. Good luck with all of this.
Brkn.halo.6712
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:49 PM

I am seriously going to quote you on that. Word for word. I don't think she will see it as a punishment being that she wanted to move in earlier this year. I'll also let her good friends visit her here but not every day. I'm just hesitant because I don't know her friends except for one and all I hear is wild ass stories about them. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Lay down the rules from day one. Let her know they're for her protection. Make sure she knows you want her there because you love her and want to help her. Get her into therapy. Being in a different school would help a lot. Good luck to all of you. This isn't a good situation to have to deal with. Rape victims need to know they're not being punished. She's not being sent away from mom for being bad - she's being brought to you to heal.


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