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Question for those who lost their baby in the last trimester

Thank you to everybody who has shared their story. I was very worried when posting this that I would offend somebody or just catch a lot of grief over my curiosity. The stories are so sad, yet it has also shown me that there are so many amazingly strong women in this group. I have four kids (a set of twins), especially with the twins I was always scared of losing one. I just can't imagine. My twins were born at 27 weeks and while I always knew how fortunate we were to have such healthy babies this has been a major reminder. 

I have also noticed that a few women have said that these stories have also helped them. I am so glad that these stories were able to help.



First of all, I am very sorry for your loss.

Secondly, please forgive me if these are rude questions to ask. A friend of mine lost her baby that was due next month this past Monday. They are absolutely devastated (understandably). I have spent a lot of time the past few days thinking of them and their loss. I have questions that are driving me crazy but I would never in a million years ask my friend, so I thought I try to get some answers from other people.

What did you do with the clothes and baby gear? Did you keep them for the next baby (I am pretty sure they will try again) or did you get rid of them? What about stuff that was personalized? 

I know everybody will have different answers, I just can't get this question out of my head for some reason. 

*Thank you very much to those who have shared, I really appreciate it and again, I am very sorry for your loss*



by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:29 PM
Replies (11-20):
SamanthaSage
by Silver Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:38 PM
So sorry for your loss. How far along were you when he passed? I imagine that would be really hard to carry him long after.

Quoting chrissara1011:

I donated all my sons things except 1 stuffed dog I buried with him....they made me carry him until I went into natural labor

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:38 PM

When we realized she had passed I was induced.


Quoting Anonymous:

do they make you "give birth" at that point or do they cut the baby out of you?



CuriousArentYa
by Platinum Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:40 PM

My friends umbilical cord was not fully developed and the baby was not getting enough blood. They said she was a fighter to have made it this long. On the 28th she had just reported that everything was going well and then Tuesday she posted on facebook what had happened, she posted in fb to avoid a bunch of questions and to tell everybody that she was closing her facebook to give her and her husband time to heal. She said it was just too hard for them to see all of the pictures and updates about happy and healthy babies.

Quoting Anonymous:

What's the usual cause of a child being stillborn?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:41 PM
It depends on what is going on. A friends baby had no heart beat at 38 weeks. She didn't feel the baby moving for a day and went to the hospital. She was induced and deliver a stillborn baby. She then had to spend the next two days on the mother baby floor and seeing all these women with their new babies. They did put her in a private room, but she could still hear the babies cry.

Quoting Anonymous:

do they make you "give birth" at that point or do they cut the baby out of you?

atmsmom2011
by Silver Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:41 PM
So sorry for your losses
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
theresa13183
by Platinum Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:42 PM
2 moms liked this

i'm 37 weeks pregnant and i dont know how i'd ever get over it if i lost my little boy

he already seems like such a huge part of my heart and life

i am truly sorry to all who can reply to this post

and to the OP i understand the dark curiousity (i obviously clicked on the post)

if something awful did happen i have no idea what i'd do with all his things...i feel like i'd have to keep it because i couldn't handle losing his things 

kailalaila
by Silver Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:43 PM

I lost my baby boy at 8 months and I had a c-section, I gave everything away. the only things I kept were the hospital pics and his knitted blanket that was given to me at the hospital.

chrissara1011
by Bronze Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:43 PM
8 months.. placenta had unattached from my uterus....several years afterwards I would have nightmares where he would come up tome and say I had forgotten about him and take off running and I could not catch him. This was after I had my son and daughter...it bothers you even if you think u are doing ok
_cori
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:44 PM
1 mom liked this

This. I feel so fortunate to never have lost a baby.

Quoting SyllabaryBisque:

I'm 30 weeks along and this is the most devastating post I've ever read on CM. I'm so sorry to all who reply...


7.18.1997 ~ Jamie Lily

6.2.2002 ~ Riley Cate

11.2.2002 ~ Lindsey Grace

LizzieAnnesMom
by ☆Mrs.Winchester☆ on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:44 PM

I lost my dd at full term but I will go ahead and answer your questions.


What did you do with the clothes and baby gear? Did you keep them for the next baby (I am pretty sure they will try again) or did you get rid of them? What about stuff that was personalized? 

some of it we kept. Personal items we definitely kept. We hadnt bought anything expensive (stroller, pack n play, etc) because we were just going to use what was left over from our first DD. A lot of her stuff is put away in storage. Things like bottles, baby bag, diapers, etc I gave to my oldest to use for her baby doll. Personalized items (monogrammed items) we definitely kept. A lot of the smaller stuff is put away in her memory box.








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