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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

A bridesmaid? I don't know if they should marry!! WWYD?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

I have been asked to be a bridesmaid at my own sister's wedding. Sweet right? NO. I have serious convictions. First one being she has always been about herself and he wants kids. Growing up she let the rest of us (there are 4 after her) know we were a mistake and that if it weren't for us she could have had so much more in life. Second, she has been dating this guy for a year, after her first husband left her (both of them cheated and treated each other horribly which she pretends was one sided), and she hasn't acted like the person I have known for 34 years since they started dating this new guy. I mean I hope it's a permanant change but what if it's not?? This is his first marriage and he does want kids. As far as I know she hasn't told him she doesn't (she's always wanted the attention focused on her), and she has told others she doesn't really want them but thinks it is sweet that he does. So should someone warn him of what he may be getting himself into? I love my sister but I iam not oblivious to the person she is on the inside, where most people just see her as she wants them to. WWYD? What would you do????

shrugging PS. He seems like a really nice guy with a great family, so he would be a welcome addition to my family.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gypsy_rose
by Kandy on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:46 PM
Ether be a bridesmaid or dobt. Besides that unless she is whoring around behind his back leave it alone. She may have changed.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:48 PM
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I think you should be a bridesmaid at your sister's wedding and  let go of your control issues

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:50 PM
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I may send him a letter annonymous with your concerns.  I believe the wanting children/not wanting children can hurt him in the long run and he needs to be made aware of her beliefes.   If I would have told my friend some of the shady crap his wife was doing/ lying about years ago he may not have been hurt from her enough to kill himself recently.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:54 PM
I am not trying to be controlling, I am merely thinking that if I were about to sign up for happily ever after I would like to know first what I may be getting into.
Mom-does-hair
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Do you know him well? If so, I'd just casually ask him if he and (insert sis's name) have talked about kids. If not, recommend that they do. That would have been a deal-breaker for me and was after my ex didn't want anymore after 1, and we did talk about 3-4 before we married. My ex SIL wanted kids, but they never really talked about it, and by the time she actually thought about it, she was 42 and felt she was too old and now has no kids and resents her husband.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:59 PM

This is what concerns me. Also if she does get preggo for him and has a kid.... I think she would only end up unhappy and blame him for it, not to mention I will have a poor neice or nephew that will feel unloved by his mom.  

LovlyRita
by Meter Maid on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:01 PM
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Do not say anything. They are both adults and will only resent your interference.
Mom-does-hair
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:01 PM
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Let me add, my sister's dh didn't want kids, and she wants 1. He agreed before they married. Now, he is back to none. She is growing increasingly angry and I think this is why. She is 27 and has been married 51/2 years. He still wants to stay out and party. It's a bad deal for people who want kids.
MaNdYbEaR2010
by *Manda* on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:02 PM
2 moms liked this

I'd ask in front of them both.

"Are y'all planning on kids? Probably not, right, since sis doesn't want kids?"

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 4, 2013 at 7:02 PM

I pray she has changed but "whoring behind his back" is exactly what she did to husband #1, not that she would admit to it.

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