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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

When your child complains that their teacher doesn't like them, do you:

Posted by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:14 AM
  • 69 Replies

 

Poll

Question: When your child complains that their teacher doesn't like them, do you:

Options:

Believe them and try to intervene on their behalf

Assume they are exaggerating and stay out of it


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 116

View Results


by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
twinmommy27
by Ruby Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:26 AM
11 moms liked this
Other.
I try to find out why they feel that way, if it's something they are doing, I tell them they need to straighten up in class.
If the teacher is just mean to everyone (if its nothing to get extremely mad about) I tell them, I'm sorry, but there will be people in life that are just miserable and mean. Don't be concerned why they are that way, just be respectful, kind and be a good student. Next year is bound to be better.

With that said...if the teacher is picking on my child, I have a meeting with that teacher and let her know my child feels that way, and ask them if she feels there is a reason for it...
I've had to go to talk to a teacher before. When I brought it to her attention, she wasn't an issue for my child anymore.
tiafez
by Bronze Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:27 AM

I did "other" so I didn't vote. I'd wait and see. If it was an exaggeration I'd know and he wasn't suffering educationwise. If he had been I'd have jumped in fast but in life we often run into people we don't like or who we think don't like us, we have to learn to deal. Not everyone will fawn over us and it doesn't reflect badly on who we are. It just means we didn't clickand that's fine. 

bzzybeemomof3
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:28 AM
3 moms liked this

 

My dd in kindergarten (she is now 11) had a teacher and she told me that the teacher was really mean to her and always left her out of stuff. So I dug around and found a lot of major issues. (after stuff went on for almost 3 months) before she told me what was happening.

For one, she blamed my dd for peeing on a rug (my dd has never wet her pants) EVER. She was instantly potty trained. She said that her teacher asked her in front of the whole class if she peed her pants, while the class was laughing at her. She told her no, the teacher grabbed her hand and dragged her across the rug, to see if she peed. She made her stand up and show the teacher if she peed, while all the kids pointed and laughed at her. (she never peed on the rug) another child did.

Later that day, the teacher didnt give her the special treat, cause she cried when the teacher humilitated her in front of her peers. Over the next few days, she made my dd sit at a table by herself all day long and wouldnt let the other kids talk to her.

It was not till another parent I knew, who had been told by her child, what was going on. My dd was refusing to go to school, would scream cry etc....But would not tell me why. I went to the school myself several times to find out what was going on, the teacher was nice as pie to my dd and to my face. She would say oh, she is a very wonderful child, we love her so much, she has so many friends. Come to find out, kids were spitting in her face and hair, kicking her, pushing her on the ground at recess. And the teacher was not doing anything about it.

Come to find out, that the school didnt like me or my dd, 1) I was not married, I was a single mom. And 2) I had her in a Catholic Scholl and I was not Catholic. My dd is Catholic, but I am Agnostic. My dd was in that school for 3 months till we switched to public school. Never had an issue since.

So yes, if my child says the teacher dont like her, I investigate.

V.Dubbya
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:34 AM
So far, I've tried to form a good relationship with all our teachers. This way I'd have the inside track from both parties.
I wouldn't immediately take my child's statement as the entire story (unless I have reason to) and would give it a little time to see how things sort out. If the issue continues tho, I would talk to the teacher to suss out what's happening from their perspective.
supercarp
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:44 AM
1 mom liked this

I can't vote on this because I strongly say "Neither."

First, I would believe my child FEELS that the teacher doesn't like him and may have some valid reasons, but I would not go to the teacher with a chip on my shoulder and a bunch of assumptions. It would be neglectful to let things go as they are, even if my child is exaggerating. It needs to be addressed. I would schedule an appointment to talk to the teacher and find out his/her side of the story and work with her to see what we could do to get my child to perform at his best without griping.

rgba
by Ruby Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Elementary aged? Intervene.

Older, dig for more details.
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jltplk25
by Bronze Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:53 AM

 My 6 year old is a story teller so I tend to let it go. Now if there was something that struck me as odd or if it was a daily story that didn't change, I'd probably investigate.

zetajen
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 9:59 AM

when a child feels a particular way, it does not mean their perception is true, but their feelings are valid and deserve respect. I would talk to my child about it to get as much information as I could. For a child probably 2nd grade and down, I would schedule a meeting with the teacher. the teacher needs to understand how the relationship is preceived. This is true for several reasons. a small change on her part might make a difference. her understanding of the situation will help her to understand the child's behavior. open, honest communication is very important in all relationships, including teacher and student relationships.

for a child 3rd grade to maybe 5th or 6th, I would offer to go with them when they talk to their teacher. above that age, I would help them to know how to deal with it on their own.

Suzy_Sunshine
by Gold Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:06 AM

You forgot: Believe then and stay out of it.

An0nym0use
by Rock Lobster on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:08 AM
I'd believe they were exaggerating until parent-teacher conferences. It'd be easier to get a read on how the teacher feels then.
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