To whom it may concern,
For the sake of this, lets call me CJ. I'm a high funtioning, high level 'aspie'. I have been from a young age. I also have ADHD and an anxiety disorder, OCD and clinically diagnosed depression (due to a chemical imbalance). I'm not much different to you. Sure I view things in a different perspective, and something things that don't phase you, may phase me, and vice versa; but I'm not much different.
I spent most of my early school years being bullied, and not knowing how to reacgt, having breakdowns because of it. I was bigger than the other kids, and I was told if I ever retaliated in a physical manner, another child could be really hurt; so I didn't. I put up with bullying, the taunts and the physical abuse, just so no one else could get hurt.
I was a top of the class student, the teachers loved me, but home life was different. Home was where I seemed to act out, and gave my parents hell. They didn't understand how their little devil could be so precious at school and such a demon at home; they also didn't believe me about the bullying.
I was sent to see multiple counsellors when I was 11, dad and mom were divorcing, my mind went into meltdown mode, and I had my first, true, psychotic episode. I locked myself in my room for 2 weeks (it was on school break), and refused to let anyone in. If my parents wanted me to eat, they left the food outside the door, if they wanted to open the door, I'd pat them down with a broom handle to make sure they weren't carrying weapons. I thought everyone wanted to kill me; I had a brain snap.
The councelling didn't help. I didn't want strangers knowing my inner feelings, so I led them down the garden path. Eventually one of them said I had severe anxiety and depression (which had been yet to be diagnosed), and put my on drugs. I hated them. My very core hated them. I hated being a zombie, everyone said how much I had improved, but I didn't feel human, I didn't feel like me.
I much rathered be see as ecletic and maybe crazy, then feel as if someone had tied a leash around my brain. I stopped taking the pills without my parents knowing, and began to look into coping mechanisms all on my own (something no one else seemed to be interested in).
I learnt to deal with all of my problems, slowly. I'll never be completely free of depression, my OCD will always play a part in my life, my attention span usually sucks, but my inbuilt hardrive has stored a huge amount of data over the years, and I've found my interests, found things that I could easily become obsessed with, but I have learnt to deal with that part of being an aspie.
Being an Aspie, or having behavioural disorders does not make me any different, any less sane than you, it just means I had to go a little bit further to be able to deal with the same things you do. It just means sometimes I will see things differently, or react to a situation differently to you.
So for anyone that has ever had a mental disorder, heres to you, battling on, being strong, and not letting anyone drag you down!