Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

From An Aspie to You *looooonnggg*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies
2 moms liked this

To whom it may concern,

For the sake of this, lets call me CJ. I'm a high funtioning, high level 'aspie'. I have been from a young age. I also have ADHD and an anxiety disorder, OCD and clinically diagnosed depression (due to a chemical imbalance). I'm not much different to you. Sure I view things in a different perspective, and something things that don't phase you, may phase me, and vice versa; but I'm not much different.

I spent most of my early school years being bullied, and not knowing how to reacgt, having breakdowns because of it. I was bigger than the other kids, and I was told if I ever retaliated in a physical manner, another child could be really hurt; so I didn't. I put up with bullying, the taunts and the physical abuse, just so no one else could get hurt.

I was a top of the class student, the teachers loved me, but home life was different. Home was where I seemed to act out, and gave my parents hell. They didn't understand how their little devil could be so precious at school and such a demon at home; they also didn't believe me about the bullying.

I was sent to see multiple counsellors when I was 11, dad and mom were divorcing, my mind went into meltdown mode, and I had my first, true, psychotic episode. I locked myself in my room for 2 weeks (it was on school break), and refused to let anyone in. If my parents wanted me to eat, they left the food outside the door, if they wanted to open the door, I'd pat them down with a broom handle to make sure they weren't carrying weapons. I thought everyone wanted to kill me; I had a brain snap.

The councelling didn't help. I didn't want strangers knowing my inner feelings, so I led them down the garden path. Eventually one of them said I had severe anxiety and depression (which had been yet to be diagnosed), and put my on drugs. I hated them. My very core hated them. I hated being a zombie, everyone said how much I had improved, but I didn't feel human, I didn't feel like me.

I much rathered be see as ecletic and maybe crazy, then feel as if someone had tied a leash around my brain. I stopped taking the pills without my parents knowing, and began to look into coping mechanisms all on my own (something no one else seemed to be interested in).

I learnt to deal with all of my problems, slowly. I'll never be completely free of depression, my OCD will always play a part in my life, my attention span usually sucks, but my inbuilt hardrive has stored a huge amount of data over the years, and I've found my interests, found things that I could easily become obsessed with, but I have learnt to deal with that part of being an aspie.

Being an Aspie, or having behavioural disorders does not make me any different, any less sane than you, it just means I had to go a little bit further to be able to deal with the same things you do. It just means sometimes I will see things differently, or react to a situation differently to you.

So for anyone that has ever had a mental disorder, heres to you, battling on, being strong, and not letting anyone drag you down!

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
momto3nuts
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:11 PM
1 mom liked this

BUMP!

momto3nuts
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:12 PM

My oldest son has aspergers. We've had some severe things to deal with, but we are figuring it out together.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:15 PM


The best thing you can do is be understanding and open, listening to what he has to say, encouraging him to talk. My husband also has aspergers, without all the added disorders (thank goodness or I think we'd kill each other lol!).

It's difficult living life with a label, especially when you are discriminated against on a constant basis. People don't see it as a disability, but it can be dibilitating.

Quoting momto3nuts:

My oldest son has aspergers. We've had some severe things to deal with, but we are figuring it out together.



lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:15 PM
Thanks for posting this. (((((Hugs))))
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:17 PM

You're very welcome :)

Did it help with something?


Quoting lnrmom:

Thanks for posting this. (((((Hugs))))



momto3nuts
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:17 PM

BUMP!

momto3nuts
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I keep bumping, because I think a lot of these women would be doing themselves a favor by reading this.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:19 PM

I hope it can bring some understanding to those who are confused about the issue, or have someone close to them dealing with it.


Quoting momto3nuts:

I keep bumping, because I think a lot of these women would be doing themselves a favor by reading this.



pce68
by Patti on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:24 PM

I sometimes wonder if my daughter has Asperger's but I'm not sure and we haven't been able to get her psychological testing to know for sure. We did go to a psychiatrist and they said she has Generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and OCD. I think she has depression as well, and I am working on getting her evaluated for SPD. I try to always be on her side. I don't want her to ever have to think she can't trust me. She is on medicine right now, just started, but I'm not forcing her to take the meds. She said she wanted to. If she changes her mind and doesn't want them, then we will try other methods to help her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:31 PM

I'm glad you are being so supporting. For some people the drugs are a life saver, for others, like myself, they make us feel dead inside; like a puppet.

The biggest thing for me, was it effected my dreams. I had always been able to control my dreams on a deeply subconscious level, and the pills did not allow me to do that. Nightmares I'd always been able to turn into a good dream.

This is the example I always use:

Without drugs: I've having a dream that I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, a strong breeze blows me over the edge and I begin falling, although I'm not afraid, a large eagle swoops around the bend and catches me and brings me to a safe landing.

With drugs:

I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, the wind blows me off, and I'm falling, trying to not be afraid. I'm expecting my bird to come catch me. It doesn't show up, I scream and then blackness.


So for me it was a big deal, it turned every night into nightmares.


Quoting pce68:

I sometimes wonder if my daughter has Asperger's but I'm not sure and we haven't been able to get her psychological testing to know for sure. We did go to a psychiatrist and they said she has Generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and OCD. I think she has depression as well, and I am working on getting her evaluated for SPD. I try to always be on her side. I don't want her to ever have to think she can't trust me. She is on medicine right now, just started, but I'm not forcing her to take the meds. She said she wanted to. If she changes her mind and doesn't want them, then we will try other methods to help her.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)