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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Bf wants me to buy special food for his dd

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Bfs dd stays here every other week just about. Her mom lives about 5 minutes away so she just stays at whichever house she feels like that week.

Anyway, we have the bills set up this way: I pay food and cable while bf pays for all the other bills.

SD(I know she's not technically but it's shorter to type) is very picky when it comes to food.

-she doesn't like green veggies except green beans and asparagus but it has to be cooked a certain way

-she doesn't like an cheeses that have a "cottage cheese feel"

-she doesn't like lasagna

-she doesn't like meat loaf

-ranch Doritos, oatmeal cream pies, and white cheddar popcorn are her absolute favorite snacks but only the name brand ones.

-she doesn't like pork chops

-she doesn't like rice unless its plain white sticky rice

-she only likes lunch meat if its a certain brand(can't remember the name, it has a red Tupperware top).

-she likes to eat little microwaveable anytizer type things after school or for late night snacks on weekends but they have to ONLY be boneless BBQ wings or corn dug nuggets. She won't eat any other ones

There are other things but that's just off the top of my head.

She gets super pissed when there is "nothing" for her to eat in the house. She tells bf that she's starving and she has to leave because we don't ever buy decent food that she likes. Then it makes him look bad because she goes to her moms and gets food there because we "have none".

Bf has decided to do something about it...he had her write a list and he gave it to me and told me to just buy whatever is on the list for her.

Am I the only one who sees a problem with this? Everyone else is just fine with the food in the house except SD and instead of telling her to just suck it up I have to go out of my way(and budget) to accommodate her.

She's 16 btw.
List of food is on page 11, it wouldn't upload the first time.


Seriously, some of you are bunch of idiots! Yes I buy her some of the special things she likes but the problem lies because she doesn't accept "some". She expects all of her favorite goodies to be there 24/7 and that just doesn't happen. My DS loves birthday cake ice cream. It's probably his favorite sweet. Sometimes I pick up a carton and sometimes I dont. I don't mind picking up things like peaches or her special popcorn sometimes but I think it's ridiculous to expect me to spend extra money on her EVERY single time for EVERY single thing she wants. Even when we have some of the stuff she will complain because we don't have the rest of what she wants. THAT is why I have a problem.
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 6, 2013 at 6:26 PM
Replies (581-588):
LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this
She's exaggerating not lying and she's being dramatic. To me she's being 16. My 16yo old son constantly tells me there's no food and he's starving. He generally will wait for me to go to the store the next day, occasionally ill leave him money and hell go to the store and buy whatever he wants.

Quoting dragonfly06:

 True! But I think why it bothers her so much is because of the daughter lying and manipulating. It would bother me. Would it bother you?


Quoting LAXmom21:

If she can't afford to pay 2 bills I think she may have bigger issues.


Quoting dragonfly06:


 1. The girl runs to her mommy and lies that daddy doesn't have any food. Am I the only one who sees this as an issue?



2. Daddy decides the only option he has to prevent his daughter from running to mommy and lying is to give in to her demands for specific food items. Am I the only one who sees this as an issue?



My advice to OP is to up your food budget and buy those items. If that means that you have to lower your cable bill (preferably removing a package that your bf likes to watch, lol) then do it. Or, stop buying the special food items that your bf likes (sorry honey, just couldn't afford it this week/month, lol). But if you can afford the extra food items, just buy them & try not to think about why you have to do it.



Remember, you can't make your bf parent his kid or co-parent with the girl's mother (most parents would have a conversation and nip this behavior in the bud). Unfortunately, you're going to have to honor his request (no matter how asinine it is, lol). Plus, I have a strong hunch that once you provide the food items, the girl will move on to something else that will cause her to not want to be at daddy's. It's a power struggle that you can't change so to ease your frustrations, just go with the flow.



shopping



 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dragonfly06
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 3:21 PM

 But does your son refuse to stay in your house, go to his other parent's home (or friend's or relative's home, whatever the case may be) and lie about there being nothing to eat? All because you don't have the types of food at the ready for him when he wants it? I seriously doubt it! You sound like the type of mom who knows her child and raised him 'right' and who also would never allow her child to willfully lie and manipulate others in order to get what he wants. This girl is lying to one parent about the other and manipulating them both and her reward for her naughty behavior is having the girlfriend buy everything on her shopping list. I see an issue with this.

Quoting LAXmom21:

She's exaggerating not lying and she's being dramatic. To me she's being 16. My 16yo old son constantly tells me there's no food and he's starving. He generally will wait for me to go to the store the next day, occasionally ill leave him money and hell go to the store and buy whatever he wants.

Quoting dragonfly06:

 True! But I think why it bothers her so much is because of the daughter lying and manipulating. It would bother me. Would it bother you?


Quoting LAXmom21:

If she can't afford to pay 2 bills I think she may have bigger issues.


Quoting dragonfly06:


 1. The girl runs to her mommy and lies that daddy doesn't have any food. Am I the only one who sees this as an issue?



2. Daddy decides the only option he has to prevent his daughter from running to mommy and lying is to give in to her demands for specific food items. Am I the only one who sees this as an issue?



My advice to OP is to up your food budget and buy those items. If that means that you have to lower your cable bill (preferably removing a package that your bf likes to watch, lol) then do it. Or, stop buying the special food items that your bf likes (sorry honey, just couldn't afford it this week/month, lol). But if you can afford the extra food items, just buy them & try not to think about why you have to do it.



Remember, you can't make your bf parent his kid or co-parent with the girl's mother (most parents would have a conversation and nip this behavior in the bud). Unfortunately, you're going to have to honor his request (no matter how asinine it is, lol). Plus, I have a strong hunch that once you provide the food items, the girl will move on to something else that will cause her to not want to be at daddy's. It's a power struggle that you can't change so to ease your frustrations, just go with the flow.



shopping



 


 

 

LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this
No he would go to grandmas and say mom has no food. Both grannies know this translates to mom worked a bajillion hours and didnt go food shopping or She didnt leave me any money please feed me. He wouldn't lie and say there's no food and mom won't go shopping. I also always go shopping and we work out asses off to ensure my kids get what they need and want. No offense to anyone, I believe if you can't spend an extra $30 bucks a week and you SAH, you need to get a job.

Quoting dragonfly06:

 But does your son refuse to stay in your house, go to his other parent's home (or friend's or relative's home, whatever the case may be) and lie about there being nothing to eat? All because you don't have the types of food at the ready for him when he wants it? I seriously doubt it! You sound like the type of mom who knows her child and raised him 'right' and who also would never allow her child to willfully lie and manipulate others in order to get what he wants. This girl is lying to one parent about the other and manipulating them both and her reward for her naughty behavior is having the girlfriend buy everything on her shopping list. I see an issue with this.


Quoting LAXmom21:

She's exaggerating not lying and she's being dramatic. To me she's being 16. My 16yo old son constantly tells me there's no food and he's starving. He generally will wait for me to go to the store the next day, occasionally ill leave him money and hell go to the store and buy whatever he wants.


Quoting dragonfly06:


 True! But I think why it bothers her so much is because of the daughter lying and manipulating. It would bother me. Would it bother you?



Quoting LAXmom21:

If she can't afford to pay 2 bills I think she may have bigger issues.



Quoting dragonfly06:



 1. The girl runs to her mommy and lies that daddy doesn't have any food. Am I the only one who sees this as an issue?




2. Daddy decides the only option he has to prevent his daughter from running to mommy and lying is to give in to her demands for specific food items. Am I the only one who sees this as an issue?




My advice to OP is to up your food budget and buy those items. If that means that you have to lower your cable bill (preferably removing a package that your bf likes to watch, lol) then do it. Or, stop buying the special food items that your bf likes (sorry honey, just couldn't afford it this week/month, lol). But if you can afford the extra food items, just buy them & try not to think about why you have to do it.




Remember, you can't make your bf parent his kid or co-parent with the girl's mother (most parents would have a conversation and nip this behavior in the bud). Unfortunately, you're going to have to honor his request (no matter how asinine it is, lol). Plus, I have a strong hunch that once you provide the food items, the girl will move on to something else that will cause her to not want to be at daddy's. It's a power struggle that you can't change so to ease your frustrations, just go with the flow.




shopping




 



 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LAXmom21
by Ruby Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 3:38 PM
1 mom liked this
And not for anything if it is breaking the bank she needs to get a job. My 16 yr olds "job" is to go to school and play lacrosse. He works hard at both so he can go to a good college, make good contacts and hopefully get a good job.

Quoting MissLoveLyfe:

So all you pay for is food and cable and you're complaining? That stuff on the list is not breaking the bank..
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Christye31
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:02 AM

She needs to learn to eat healthier anyway. Good habits are never bad. Balanced diets. He should insist on her eating better anyway. Find a gentle way to discuss with him. Tell him you're concerned about her eating habits or something along those lines. Show concern for her, not your irritation would be my suggestion.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 78 on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:08 AM

She is 16- tell her if she wants to save up her own money to buy a stash of snacks to keep at the house just for herself, she is more than welcome to. Otherwise, she is old enough to eat from the grocery items purchased for the whole family.

I'm a seriously picky eater- not when it comes to name brands, but textures, tastes, etc- I have some major sensory issues, and have sensitive taste buds- things taste much stronger, more spicy, etc.

Anyway, growing up, there were definitely foods I would just not eat, but my parents also knew what I would eat from the menu they followed, so even if I skipped the steak, or the pork chop, or whatever, there was something on the table I could eat.

When I got my first job, I started stocking some of the more snack-like foods I loved, but that my parents did not always buy. I was 14 at the time. I had no issue with it.

If your DH has an issue with her not getting name brand junk food stocked, tell him he's more than welcome to provide additional money, so that it can be covered without hurting the overall grocery budget you have set up.

zenoria
by Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 4:59 AM
Did anyone else notice she prefers specific lunch meats ....name brand... But wants Lunchables made by a different brand?

I don't understand why a 16 yo wants Lunchables, either, btw. My 10 yo thinks they're too small & understands that he can slice up his own meat and cheese and add crackers and a drink.
SherryMD
by Member on Sep. 14, 2013 at 2:26 PM

BF's DD is old enough to get a job and buy more of her speshual foods if she thinks the house is lacking enough!

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