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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Help! My dad spoils my kid!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies


My parents are in my son's life on a daily basis. They watch him while I work.

My son is almost 3. His father is not in his life and he is very close to my parents, spending time together means the world to the three of them. Plus, it's free, and if I had to pay for daycare I couldn't afford to live.


Here's the problem:

My dad likes to buy my son things every time they go out. He buys things that are tiny and unnecessary and cheap, as well as big toys like tricycles, and everything in between. I don't have space in my apartment for that stuff.

He takes hundreds of pictures of him every day. If he does anything even remotely cute my dad whips out the camera. My son notices it and my dad does it in front of other people and it's just an awkward situation all the way around.

He takes him to restaurants and lets him eat french fries and ice cream when he knows and SAYS he totally respects that I do not allow him to eat junk food.

My son is their only grandchild and we all adore him like crazy, but it is a little weird to me the way my dad constantly tells him how perfect he is, how amazing he is, how incredible he is, how adorable he is, how he's the best boy in the world, etc. etc. EVERY SINGLE TIME he sees him.


My dad raised me similarly and while a lot of it was great and showed me how much he cared, a lot of what he did created a very imbalanced and bizarre relationship between us.

He acted like I was a queen and he was my loyal subject and it made me quite a brat and to this day I struggle with serious issues because of it.


To make myself clear, I attachment parent. I believe in showing children respect. I hate the opinion that treating a child as a special person is wrong, BUT, as a parent you are supposed to guide and protect, not worship and cowar.

I have repeatedly told my father my feelings about all of these things and he still tries to sneak it by me and act innocent like he just "totally forgot" what I have said.


I have no other options for childcare, so do you think there is a better way to get the message cross?






Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 4:08 AM

Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:22 AM

Bump

susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:31 AM
2 moms liked this

I have no sympathy for anyone who uses their parents/family as FREE childcare and then complains about them. Solution.....if you don't like how they care for your kid for free, pay a sitter who will do just as you instruct. Parents are not indentured servants. What do you mean you "have no other options" for childcare? What would you do if they weren't there? If you have a kid, it's up to YOU to have "options" for his care. It's not your parents' responsibility. Additionally, since your kid is still alive, they clearly aren't killing him, and he will most likely remember forever the times he spent with Grandma and Grandpa. When they are gone, do you really want to remember that you were angry that they gave your son ice cream and told him he was great? Instead, you can't wait to get in the way of their relationship and hurt all of them. You indeed sound like a brat. A jealous one.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:33 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting susannah2000:

I have no sympathy for anyone who uses their parents/family as FREE childcare and then complains about them. Solution.....if you don't like how they care for your kid for free, pay a sitter who will do just as you instruct. Parents are not indentured servants. What do you mean you "have no other options" for childcare? What would you do if they weren't there? If you have a kid, it's up to YOU to have "options" for his care. It's not your parents' responsibility. Additionally, since your kid is still alive, they clearly aren't killing him, and he will most likely remember forever the times he spent with Grandma and Grandpa. When they are gone, do you really want to remember that you were angry that they gave your son ice cream and told him he was great? Instead, you can't wait to get in the way of their relationship and hurt all of them. You indeed sound like a brat. A jealous one.

classic cafemom response.

Mother can do no right!

Thanks for the laugh.

mommyof11050307
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:37 AM
Set up ground rules they have to follow. Just because their grandparents doesn't mean they do as they please. My parents know my rules and they will follow them.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:37 AM


Quoting susannah2000:

I have no sympathy for anyone who uses their parents/family as FREE childcare and then complains about them. Solution.....if you don't like how they care for your kid for free, pay a sitter who will do just as you instruct. Parents are not indentured servants. What do you mean you "have no other options" for childcare? What would you do if they weren't there? If you have a kid, it's up to YOU to have "options" for his care. It's not your parents' responsibility. Additionally, since your kid is still alive, they clearly aren't killing him, and he will most likely remember forever the times he spent with Grandma and Grandpa. When they are gone, do you really want to remember that you were angry that they gave your son ice cream and told him he was great? Instead, you can't wait to get in the way of their relationship and hurt all of them. You indeed sound like a brat. A jealous one.

Also, I guess I didn't make myself clear enough, but I would never and will NEVER interfere with the precious bond he has with his grandparents.

You are one of the stupidest posters I have seen in a long time, and that is seriously saying something, as I'm sure you can attest to, being in this kind of a group.

I assume you are only joking, but if not.... HOLY SHIT

susannah2000
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:52 AM



Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting susannah2000:

I have no sympathy for anyone who uses their parents/family as FREE childcare and then complains about them. Solution.....if you don't like how they care for your kid for free, pay a sitter who will do just as you instruct. Parents are not indentured servants. What do you mean you "have no other options" for childcare? What would you do if they weren't there? If you have a kid, it's up to YOU to have "options" for his care. It's not your parents' responsibility. Additionally, since your kid is still alive, they clearly aren't killing him, and he will most likely remember forever the times he spent with Grandma and Grandpa. When they are gone, do you really want to remember that you were angry that they gave your son ice cream and told him he was great? Instead, you can't wait to get in the way of their relationship and hurt all of them. You indeed sound like a brat. A jealous one.

Also, I guess I didn't make myself clear enough, but I would never and will NEVER interfere with the precious bond he has with his grandparents.

You are one of the stupidest posters I have seen in a long time, and that is seriously saying something, as I'm sure you can attest to, being in this kind of a group.

I assume you are only joking, but if not.... HOLY SHIT

"Holy Shit"  was pretty much my reaction to your post as well. You want your parents to stop treating him to junk food, stop buying him toys, stop taking photos of him, stop even  telling him he's great, stop, stop stop...and yet, "you wouldn't do anything to get in the way of their relationship." RIGHT. You just want your parents to do exactly as you instruct, for FREE. I stand by my original post.


AngryBob
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:59 AM

i'm a huge advocate for telling grandparents to butt out and let mom and dad raise their kid, but seriously - you're mooching off your parents for free childcare. if you don't want them RAISING him, which is essentially what they're doing, then don't have them spend so much time around him. your dad needs to be taught consequences to his behavior. feed my kid french fries? awesome - now you don't get to see him for X amount of time. otherwise, he's just going to keep lying to your face so he can get what he wants.

limiting time a kid spends around someone isn't ruining their relationship. in fact, you've already stated that your dad and his actions ruined the relationship that you and he had. so HE is the one ruining it, if it's going to be ruined.

you may not like the answer, but that's the reality of the situation. if a daycare provider wasn't doing something you liked, you would switch daycares. i don't see why grandparents are any different.

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:59 AM
The only thing I would really have issues with is the toys, u can always feed him right at breakfast and dinner, but I don't know what to tell u either, grandparents like to spoil their grandbabies
New.OrleansLady
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 6:03 AM
This... Plus, it's free so you can't be too choosy. They have a great bond and you dad loves him

Quoting Anonymous:

The only thing I would really have issues with is the toys, u can always feed him right at breakfast and dinner, but I don't know what to tell u either, grandparents like to spoil their grandbabies
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