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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

he picks deugs over family

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
It has been a while since I have been here but I nees to at leasy some what put this out there. My husband and I will be married 2 years on the 12th. We have had some good times but a lot has been bad. Now we are on the brink of divorce and I feel like I am drowning. He is a long story short. We were dating a short time when I got pregnant with twins and decided to get married to have a house and insurance for me and them because otherwise I'd be movin hours away and he would not be able to see us often. No body put a gun to his head or forced him he chose that option. A month later from getting married I miscarried. I gave him the option several times to leave if he wNted we could disolv e the marriage no hard feelings but he chose to stay. I started finding him on craigslist and plenty of fish even, trying to talk to other women. Some were disgusting about things he wants to do with them to show em a night they'd never forget and others were less intense but he would send pictures of himself that I took of him like for his bday and they'd cal each other babe. This happened a lot. At first I thought he was reaching out missing something from losing the twins so I chose to stay thinking we could work thru it. But I ALWAYS confronted him on it and tried to understand and let him know it was not ok. Six months later I found i was pregnant and I thought things were better but three months in he was back on cl I told him even if I was having his child that I wouldn't stay if it continued that he needed to get help. Well a week before I had our son he was on it again. He broke down telling me he only did it this time because he wanted to make sure I was giving him a "real" decision about our upcoming move. We were scheduled to move 3 weeks later from tx to michigan and he thought if he did that then he'd know if I really wanted to go or not. I was emotional horomonal and didn't want to make any decisions at that time so I chose to move thinking this would make or break our marriage. Maybe he was feeling stuck in the military and missing home so being here with family and friends he'd be happier and have accountability in all this. Little did I know this place is a toxic place. We got here and suddenly he went from the man who was amazing in most other aspects aside from the cl stuff to a man I didn't recognize he started smoking pot everyday, leaving the kids and i alone constantly to golf or fish or hang with friends or go to the bar. zeI expressed my dismay in all this and nothing changed. It only got worse he started staying out til 3am or even 5am with no true story as to his where anouts and then pictures of him with other girls started popping up on fb. He has a way to lie straight to my face and not even flinch and he admits it. He has apologized a thousand times and says he wants to fix this but his lack of behavioral change sceams otherwise. Finally a few days ago i gave him 4 ultimatums that if he broke i was done. 1 no CLOSE female friends. (No confiding in them or vice versa) 2 no going out or to the bar without me. And only if we hsd the money. Go together leave together. 3 no lying about where you are or who youee with. (Dont say ur at work and be somewhere else) 4 no illegal drugs. He said he agreed but then the very nexy day i was on the phone with him at lunch and he told me he had to go so he could eat real quick before going back into work. That was 11:45. I later found out he was texting his friend all morning that he would coe over at noon to smoke pot. And last night he went to play video gaes at a friends at 8:30pm and 3 hours later it turned into him at another friends high as a kite. But he tells me he is no choosing this over his family. That im ridiculous. I know logically its manipulation but jeez he makes me feel like i am crazy and maybe i am the one who has it wrong.. btw he does shrooms too and he has smoked in my house with my kids and left it out in the living room. Once he even left our personal protection handgun on the coffee table cuz he was cleaning it then got high forgot about it and went to bed (i was asleep) left for work and then called me to put it away. My daughter could have walked downstairs nd got it. While i doubt she could have gotten one in the chamber and pulled the trigger its still dangerous. His mom and dad and all his friends smoke pot and i had no idea so to him its a part of life one he doesnt think he needs to give up. Mind u i am open minded about it. If ur a productive member of society pay ur bills are not living off the government or in ur parents basement and u do it recreationally then more power to toy but if ur allowi g it to mess up ur life i think its just as bad as anything else. Idk my point in all this other than get it off my chest cuz i am hurting but i know better than to play into it againze
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:34 AM
I forgot to add how he texted a girl the other day that he is friends with saying he was done and has been done cuz she called him out and said shame on him for being at her fiances bachelor party if he knew I'd be mad but he was actiing like we were not even together. He also told her he was not in love with me and never has been. When I called him on it he says he is just confused that he does love me but he thinks we need to do our own thing. So he is ok if I move to tx with the kids but claims he still wants to work on it.
Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:35 AM

That is wayy too long to read, but from what I gather, he has done this so many times, it's likely he won't recover without some therapy. Good luck, that sounds rough.

Jessy613
by Diamond Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:36 AM

He sounds like he wants the single life, but wants to have his cake and eat it too. It doesn't work that way, and your a fool if you choose to put up with that.

Quoting Anonymous:

I forgot to add how he texted a girl the other day that he is friends with saying he was done and has been done cuz she called him out and said shame on him for being at her fiances bachelor party if he knew I'd be mad but he was actiing like we were not even together. He also told her he was not in love with me and never has been. When I called him on it he says he is just confused that he does love me but he thinks we need to do our own thing. So he is ok if I move to tx with the kids but claims he still wants to work on it.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:37 AM
What do you expect? He was like that when yoi got married. Did you really expect him to change?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:38 AM

The pot has nothing to do with it he is just a self centered jerk.  

sugareemommee
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:38 AM
1 mom liked this

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:39 AM
2 moms liked this
Paragraphs are your friends. I can't read that.
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:40 AM
1 mom liked this

If you arent happy and he clearly isnt willing to make the changes that you need, it may be time to cut your losses and move on.

BluePandaDreams
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:41 AM
Paragraphs please. I refuses to read it as is.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:42 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Paragraphs are your friends. I can't read that.
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