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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you discuss your past with ex's new woman?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 177 Replies

 My xh's new fiance wants to meet up with me tonight to get some information on why our situation is the way it is. She wants everybody to be friends, and honestly my dh and I have always tried to facilitate an open communication between xh and his 2nd xw. We are even friends with his second xw, because everyone gets along with the exception of my xh. He is the father of dd1.

While I personally have no issue with her or talking to her, I am super anxious about this meeting. She basically wants to know why we have issues, and I have to assume she's in love with this man. But the reason we have issues is him in all honesty. I'm afraid this meeting is going to go very badly. I don't think she knows quite what it is that she's asking of me.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:38 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:46 PM
13 moms liked this

It won't matter what you tell her, you will be in the wrong and even when she begins to see those traits you're trying to warn her about she will still blame it on you. Best to just tell her that people are different and the past is the past, you aren't interested in tainting any possible relationships or friendships. Things just didn't work out for you two, doesn't mean they won't work out for her. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:01 PM

  Thank you. And I agree to an extent also. What I am really torn on, is she wants to know why we are where we are currently with dd. We have a multitude of issues that arise from how he treats dd. And due to those issues is why we are on bad terms currently. If I explain these things to her, which honestly she could help make things better, considering they live together, it could also cause further issues.

Quoting Anonymous:

It won't matter what you tell her, you will be in the wrong and even when she begins to see those traits you're trying to warn her about she will still blame it on you. Best to just tell her that people are different and the past is the past, you aren't interested in tainting any possible relationships or friendships. Things just didn't work out for you two, doesn't mean they won't work out for her. 

 

MistyMoo
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:03 PM
Sure if that's what she wants. I wouldn't be rude it anything, just honest.
MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:05 PM
4 moms liked this

 Oh lord, no I wouldn't be entertaining that.

moosesmom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this
At all!! There's no reason for you guys to have THAT specific conversation. The whole thing is messy. She's with him now. Apparently she's happy or she wouldn't be marrying him so why does she need to know that?

Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 Oh lord, no I wouldn't be entertaining that.

lnrmom
by Ruby Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:07 PM
I wouldn't do it. But if you do go through with it, I'd just be honest.
bandzbandzbandz
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:08 PM

Even though she was a nasty dirty bitch I did her the favor of breaking that shit up. Yeah, I had fun doing it but it needed to be done. If I can get a guy to scream "I wish your ex would've killed you when he beat the fuck out of you." I consider it me doing you a kindness.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:08 PM
I really don't think that's any of her business or your job to inform her. I'm thinking she's still dabbling with the idea of being with a man who already has 2 ex wives.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:09 PM

 I don't intend on being rude, but the content is certainly not pleasant!

Quoting MistyMoo:

Sure if that's what she wants. I wouldn't be rude it anything, just honest.

 

Luna091306
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:10 PM

 That's up to you but I see where she is coming from. When dh cheated on me I talked to his ex-wife about it. May seem strange but it got me wondering if things really went the way he said it did between them. She confirmed his story so it helped a little. I also wanted to give her a heads up because I was seriously considering leaving. We are friendly like that though. I personally wouldn't have an issue discussing my past with my ex with a new woman. I wouldn't go into every detail, just inform her we were very different people and maybe a few issues I had. I'd point out the good too. That's just me.

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