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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What do you tell a child who was born by rape/incest?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies

My sister was sexually abused by our uncle for most of her childhood and all of her teen years. She had a son out of the abuse. He is 9 now. He has figured out that her exhusband is not his father because only the younger children have visitation with him.

This was her most recent status update:

Please pray for me and H***** that god will give me the words to talk to him about his dad. He really is exploring the topic, and I haven't got the words to say yet. It breaks my heart into pieces. Feeling heart broken andfeeling overwhelmed.


It's such a tough situation. How much should she say? What things should she not say? What if he wants to see a picture? I have saved a few from my high school graduation, just in case, but they are stashed away and it's really difficult to look at them.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:47 AM

My Sister was raped by her ex bf at 18 and became pregnant with his child.

She gave that child up for adoptions, FF 15 years kid is having a lot of emotional issues and his adoptive parents reach out to the birth mother to hope quash some of his issues... he is told the story of his conception and birth.. didn't help FF 7 years after that

Kid throws himself in front of a train.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:49 AM

I wish I had advice for her.  I know the subject will come up with my daughter one day and I honestly have no clue what I am going to tell her either.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:49 AM

Are you being serious?

Quoting Anonymous:

My Sister was raped by her ex bf at 18 and became pregnant with his child.

She gave that child up for adoptions, FF 15 years kid is having a lot of emotional issues and his adoptive parents reach out to the birth mother to hope quash some of his issues... he is told the story of his conception and birth.. didn't help FF 7 years after that

Kid throws himself in front of a train.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:51 AM

hugs
It's really hard and I hope you find the right words when the time comes.

Quoting Anonymous:

I wish I had advice for her.  I know the subject will come up with my daughter one day and I honestly have no clue what I am going to tell her either.  


Foolynroo2
by Emerald Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:51 AM


Just tell him some other reason for his birth.

Quoting Anonymous:

My sister was sexually abused by our uncle for most of her childhood and all of her teen years. She had a son out of the abuse. He is 9 now. He has figured out that her exhusband is not his father because only the younger children have visitation with him.

This was her most recent status update:

Please pray for me and H***** that god will give me the words to talk to him about his dad. He really is exploring the topic, and I haven't got the words to say yet. It breaks my heart into pieces. Feeling heart broken andfeeling overwhelmed.


It's such a tough situation. How much should she say? What things should she not say? What if he wants to see a picture? I have saved a few from my high school graduation, just in case, but they are stashed away and it's really difficult to look at them.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:51 AM
4 moms liked this

I would just tell that child that regardless of the circumstances of his conception, he was very much wanted by me, and nothing was going to stop me from bringing him into this world, and loving him more than anything, and he was not a mistake, he was the only good thing that came out of a horrific situation. That he deserves his life as much as any other child, and I was not going to make him suffer for the circumstances in which he was created, he was meant to be here, and I'm thankful to God for blessing me with him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:52 AM
Tell him he is the child of a man ago is no longer in her life. And that is all she is going to say about it. That his father will likely not be part of his life or hers. If that changes, she will let him know.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:52 AM

Like what?

Quoting Foolynroo2:


Just tell him some other reason for his birth.

Quoting Anonymous:

My sister was sexually abused by our uncle for most of her childhood and all of her teen years. She had a son out of the abuse. He is 9 now. He has figured out that her exhusband is not his father because only the younger children have visitation with him.

This was her most recent status update:

Please pray for me and H***** that god will give me the words to talk to him about his dad. He really is exploring the topic, and I haven't got the words to say yet. It breaks my heart into pieces. Feeling heart broken andfeeling overwhelmed.


It's such a tough situation. How much should she say? What things should she not say? What if he wants to see a picture? I have saved a few from my high school graduation, just in case, but they are stashed away and it's really difficult to look at them.




Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:52 AM

I'd tell the truth.

Aislin
by Platinum Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:54 AM
2 moms liked this

At that age I just told him that his father was very sick and did bad things that made him unsafe to be around. That to keep us all safe I had to keep his father far away.

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