Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Step Mothers Make Me Sick ETA

Posted by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:05 PM
  • 151 Replies
12 moms liked this
Not all of them but sometimes I read posts on here that make me think of Snow White. I respect the step parent who is able to find a way to keep peace, actually care about the children, not get in between the affairs of their spouse and the bm/bd.

Then there are those of you that are just plain evil. You give your husband ultimatums between you and the children, cause trouble, treat the kids like crap. If you can't be a good step parent then DON'T MARRY A MAN WHO ALREADY HAD CHILDREN!!! I highly doubt he kept it a secret from you. Grow up and stop acting like you're in high school fighting over the quarter back! If you choose to start a relationship with a man who had children then you are choosing to have a relationship with the children and their mother. You are a SUPPORTIVE role. That's it. Women like the ones described above give ALL step mothers a bad name!!!

ETA


I am divorced hence the EX husband and I don't have any sm problems of my own. I am however raising my step son without any help from either of his bio parents. I treat him with the same love and respect that I treat my own children. My ex husband now has 10 children including my own. I speak to all the bm and children (with the exception of the biomom of my dss who I'm raising because she is not allowed contact per court orders) multiple times a year. I Have no issues with any of them because we are adults with the ability to communicate. 
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:11 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm just glad my ex and his wife are non-exsistent in my son's life. I know her enough to know that my son would be miserable around them if they were.

I think some women go into a relationship/marriage and believe because a set of kids live out the home they're irrelevant and come dead last in certain situations. Then get pissed when the dad puts their kid's first. It's a no win situation unless all parties involved are selfless, mature and respectful. I'm not saying "first children" should take main priority all the time in the "second home" but know when to pick and choose battles. Ultimatums are a weak person's choice of weapon when they feel they're losing control over everyone. It should never happen unless there is a serious situation which causes detriment to more than just the stepmom.
CeeGee81
by CanadaGirl on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:14 PM
7 moms liked this

I'm a stepmom and I totally agree with you.   Some of the stories I read on here from other stepmoms make me sick to my stomach.

mom2many747
by Gold Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:17 PM
2 moms liked this
That is exactly right. My ex husband had 3 children before me. I knew that going into it. I never treated them any differently. I currently have custody of one of them because he ended up in Foster care and no one would take him. I treat him with the same love and respect that I do my own children.

My ex husband now has a total of 10 children including mine. I'm not with him but they are my children's siblings so I speak to them and their mothers multiple times a year. I don't understand why some women act the way they do. At 18 when I married my ex I was able to accept his other children but women in here who are twice that age act like they are children.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm just glad my ex and his wife are non-exsistent in my son's life. I know her enough to know that my son would be miserable around them if they were.



I think some women go into a relationship/marriage and believe because a set of kids live out the home they're irrelevant and come dead last in certain situations. Then get pissed when the dad puts their kid's first. It's a no win situation unless all parties involved are selfless, mature and respectful. I'm not saying "first children" should take main priority all the time in the "second home" but know when to pick and choose battles. Ultimatums are a weak person's choice of weapon when they feel they're losing control over everyone. It should never happen unless there is a serious situation which causes detriment to more than just the stepmom.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting mom2many747:

That is exactly right. My ex husband had 3 children before me. I knew that going into it. I never treated them any differently. I currently have custody of one of them because he ended up in Foster care and no one would take him. I treat him with the same love and respect that I do my own children.

My ex husband now has a total of 10 children including mine. I'm not with him but they are my children's siblings so I speak to them and their mothers multiple times a year. I don't understand why some women act the way they do. At 18 when I married my ex I was able to accept his other children but women in here who are twice that age act like they are children.


Quoting Anonymous:I'm just glad my ex and his wife are non-exsistent in my son's life. I know her enough to know that my son would be miserable around them if they were.

I think some women go into a relationship/marriage and believe because a set of kids live out the home they're irrelevant and come dead last in certain situations. Then get pissed when the dad puts their kid's first. It's a no win situation unless all parties involved are selfless, mature and respectful. I'm not saying "first children" should take main priority all the time in the "second home" but know when to pick and choose battles. Ultimatums are a weak person's choice of weapon when they feel they're losing control over everyone. It should never happen unless there is a serious situation which causes detriment to more than just the stepmom.




When I dated after my ex I made sure it was a man without children. I have no way of knowing if I would be able to bond with the kids or if the ex would be a lunatic or we just wouldn't get along. My dh treated my son as if he created him himself. Not all step parents are selfish or clueless... Many here have shown genuine love and care for their step children. See like you, you took in a child not blood related and raise him no differently than your own children.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:27 PM
7 moms liked this
Then the children better never be left in the care of the sm. tired of people acting like sm should love and care for the children as their own but not be responsible or involved.
VannaMae307
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:29 PM
3 moms liked this

I refused to even date a guy if he had a kid or kids already. It takes a special person to be a good step-parent. I am not special enough so I avoided getting myself into the situation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Quoting Anonymous:I'm just glad my ex and his wife are non-exsistent in my son's life. I know her enough to know that my son would be miserable around them if they were.

I think some women go into a relationship/marriage and believe because a set of kids live out the home they're irrelevant and come dead last in certain situations. Then get pissed when the dad puts their kid's first. It's a no win situation unless all parties involved are selfless, mature and respectful. I'm not saying "first children" should take main priority all the time in the "second home" but know when to pick and choose battles. Ultimatums are a weak person's choice of weapon when they feel they're losing control over everyone. It should never happen unless there is a serious situation which causes detriment to more than just the stepmom.
guess what those kids are irrelevant in most situations. They only count and very little at that when they are in the house.
Lorena
by Platinum Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:31 PM
3 moms liked this
I am a step mom and I agree with you. However, I am in a more hands on roll then most because I am a csm. I could not ever imagine putting any of the kids last.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:33 PM

Being a Step-Mom gives you the opportunity to stay at home and care for another man/womans children. Being a Step-Mom gives you the opportunity to have children, that another woman/man made.

Nicoleb9
by Emerald Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:34 PM
9 moms liked this
That's just about all you see here.

SM has to cater 100% to the skids no matter what, but has zero authority over them. Even babysitters have a certain level of authority over children. But don't let dad lose his job. The SM who's supposed to butt out of everything is now obligated to pay his child support!

The very idea of having skids makes my eye twitch.

Quoting Anonymous:

Then the children better never be left in the care of the sm. tired of people acting like sm should love and care for the children as their own but not be responsible or involved.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured