Then there are those of you that are just plain evil. You give your husband ultimatums between you and the children, cause trouble, treat the kids like crap. If you can't be a good step parent then DON'T MARRY A MAN WHO ALREADY HAD CHILDREN!!! I highly doubt he kept it a secret from you. Grow up and stop acting like you're in high school fighting over the quarter back! If you choose to start a relationship with a man who had children then you are choosing to have a relationship with the children and their mother. You are a SUPPORTIVE role. That's it. Women like the ones described above give ALL step mothers a bad name!!!
I am divorced hence the EX husband and I don't have any sm problems of my own. I am however raising my step son without any help from either of his bio parents. I treat him with the same love and respect that I treat my own children. My ex husband now has 10 children including my own. I speak to all the bm and children (with the exception of the biomom of my dss who I'm raising because she is not allowed contact per court orders) multiple times a year. I Have no issues with any of them because we are adults with the ability to communicate.