I wrote a few weeks ago about being pregnant with my 4th and hubby wants me to have an abortion. We talked about it and he knows I can't go through with an abortion. I thought he was coming around to the idea that our family is growing and then last night he told me he hates his life. He hates his job. And that he should just kill himself. We stayed up talking til 2am not really getting anywhere. I either kill our baby or it's going to push him over the edge. He is usually so against suicide, he's had several people in his life commit suicide he knows how selfish it is. Well after talking forever and not agreeing we went to bed. Or so I thought. I woke up at 4am and he was gone he wasn't anywhere in the house, his truck was gone and his gun was not in his safe. I tried calling him but he left his phone at home. As soon as the sun started to come up I loaded the kids and decided to go look for him. First place I went was a job site he was starting in our town sure enough his truck was there. But he wasn't anywhere to be found. It was pouring rain this morning and I couldn't just leave the kids in the car to go searching for him. So I go home to call the police or my mom I don't know what to do at this at this point because all I can think is the worse. Then when I get home he's sitting on the front porch drenched. I get the kids inside and am asking him where's he been he just says walking, thinking. He goes upstairs and goes to sleep. I honestly have no idea what or where to go from here.
EDIT*after reading all of replies and searching my own heart I know that this marriage will last no longer. Now I have to decide if I want to be a single mom to 3 or 4 children. He still hasn't woken up which is usual he sleeps all weekend.