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Guys are dense **update**

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

My bf and I have been having issues, which basically comes down to me feeling unwanted. I dont feel needed or loved, and I feel like the only reason he is with me is because I'm pregnant and he needed a new place to live. (his lease was up, mine wasnt)

He does NOTHING to make me feel differently. We have talked about it and still nothing changes.

Why is that guys think talking about it IS the solution?? Great we got down to the root of the problem... but me telling you whats wrong doesnt solve the issue!!!! Do something about it!! My best friend has the same problem with her bf.
I'm still upset and hes snoring away

 

** I decided to take a few days to myself. I texted my mom shortly after posting this and told her I may come stay a few days. I know I can whenever, My room is still mine, even tho I moved out 3 years ago and I have a house key. Was just giving her a heads up. I did end up coming out here (its about 45 mins from my place) and have been here the last few days... It has greatly helped. Me being gone, he is actually trying. He is planning a date night for this weekend and apparently he cleaned the entire apartment. My stress level is drastically reduced. I still am kind of leery simply because I dont know if he is doing this just so I will come home, or if he actually means it. Only time will tell I guess.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:02 AM
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Replies (1-7):
theresa13183
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:05 AM

i doubt he knows what to do

like you said guys are dense...tell him things he can do to make you feel more appreciated...or just examples of some things so that you dont get the whole "thanks but now i know youre only doing it because i told you to" feelings

SinaiJ
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:54 AM

A lot of dudes don't know what they've got till it's gone. It has happened to me many times over and they always come back afterwards, once they realize they're dumbarses.

want10more
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:57 AM

same prob w/ my own dear hubby. i'm like, yeah say sorry, but big deal. CHANGE IT! or it doesn't mean shit. methinks guys brains are stunted............

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 12, 2013 at 4:57 AM

Yea its messed up. Yesterday was worse not better and I actually decided to leave and go to my moms for a few days.


Quoting want10more:

same prob w/ my own dear hubby. i'm like, yeah say sorry, but big deal. CHANGE IT! or it doesn't mean shit. methinks guys brains are stunted............


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 12, 2013 at 4:59 AM

I have... it really hasnt helped. It has actually gotten worse. I decided to take a break and stay at my moms for a few days and see if taking some space helps.  


Quoting theresa13183:

i doubt he knows what to do

like you said guys are dense...tell him things he can do to make you feel more appreciated...or just examples of some things so that you dont get the whole "thanks but now i know youre only doing it because i told you to" feelings


 

want10more
by Gold Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 3:56 AM
1 mom liked this

 oh dear. well, what is best for you is what's best for you. i guess my own ole man is more party foul than felony. i can go pyscho bitch on mine just to beat it into his thick skull............. but i do gotta say, when i really DO go pyscho bitch? he doesn't get mad, he doesn't even fight back. he just feels really badly, and understands why i'm so freakin pissed i could just KILL HIM! and in 10 yrs together, i could count on one hand how many times it's happened. NO he doesn't always change, but i DO know he understands my bitch, and he DOES try to change it.

only thing i could say, or try to teach is...... my ex didn't give a shit if he upset me. cuz he didn't care how i felt. he didn't give a shit if he hurt me. my new hubby feels it in his heart if he hurts me. and tho NOPE he fails badly at changing EVERYTHING he does try. he's still sometimes dumb as a stump, but he's a stump that tries anyways~


Quoting Anonymous:

Yea its messed up. Yesterday was worse not better and I actually decided to leave and go to my moms for a few days.

 

Quoting want10more:

same prob w/ my own dear hubby. i'm like, yeah say sorry, but big deal. CHANGE IT! or it doesn't mean shit. methinks guys brains are stunted............

 

 


 

jamamama00
by Ruby Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 4:00 AM
I have posted on here before about how the only way to get my husband to snap into shape is to throw a huge ass 'I might divorce you' fit. In our case, he is pretty fabulous, so luckily it is very rare that it gets to this point. But I know what you're saying...they just don't "get it." I will warn you that the more kids you have with a man the more he typically gets comfortable and stops giving a shit. So make sure he isn't too bad before you continue.
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