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So now we are expected to use some of our inheritance to help get her off drugs?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Back story, I have 2 sisters and our father recently passed away. Now, we were not very close with him, he was an alcoholic, drug addict and had been abusive to our mom while they were married and we saw it, he also never made us a priority growing up so we only saw him a couple times a year. But me and my older sister made amends with him before he died, he was even at my wedding 2 years ago. I have gotten to the point where I don't excuse how he was but I have forgiven him and that was mostly for myself.

My younger sister however, can't stand him. She is JUST like him. She is 23 (ages 3 and 1) and has 2 kids, both of them were born addicted to methadone and she has gone back and fourth between meth and methadone for the past 4 years. Currently, her and her SO (father of both kids) live in a car my older sister is raising her son (the older child) who because of the drugs has special needs and her younger child lives between my home and my mom's, she is also special needs. She accused my dad of raping her at 12 (which he didn't she was with me and my other sister the whole time, none of us were ever alone at his house simply because we all shared a room there and of course we were all there). She was taken to the doctor where absolutly no evideance of any kind of sexual acivity was found, not even molestation. She has also accused 2 other people of raping her who I seriously doubt actually did and she has acused her boyfriend's mother (who was letting them live with her when she was pregnant with the second child) of molesting her son. She was a problem teen, even child from the time she was about 10.She had her first abortion at 14 and ran away at least 5 times while she was a teen.

Me and my older sister got an inheritance from our father though he didn't leave anything to the younger sister because she has nothing to do with him and still tries to tell people that he raped her. He left each of use $150,000 which was basically all he had with the exception of his house (which went to his current wife) and a smaller amount for my mom, in his will he said he wanted to make up for all the child support her never paid. She was very happy about it and used it to finish paying off her home.

Well my grandma asked me and my older sister over for lunch. This is my mom's mom so she has nothing to do with the money we got, but she did know about it. She said that she thinks we should help our sister by renting her an apartment for a year for her and her boyfriend to get back on their feet, all while the rest of the family keeps raising their kids.

My sister has been given so much help already, by family and the government. Up until February, her SO worked while she stayed at home, they got over $500 a month in foodstamps (which they are still getting despite the fact that the kids aren't with them), WIC, medicaid for her and the two kids, and she was got free daycare until they found out that she wasn't actually working. On top of that, everthing their kids have have been bought by other people. Either hand me downs or just bought for them and half the time, they would sell the stuff people bought for their kids for drug, alochol or cigarrete money. But with all of that help, look at where they are.

Yes, getting them a place for a year would keep them off the streets but only for a year, next year she will be 24 and living on the street. I just think they need to be on their own until they decide to get off the asses and fix their lives, in the meantime we will take care of the kids so they aren't suffering.When I told my grandma this and my sister agreed, she said we were just being selfish. Grandma has always treated her better because she felt everyone else was unfairly mean to her but that's because she was always doing things wrong.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:03 AM

BUMP!

Karyanne24
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this
With that backstory and the fact that she did that while pregnant with innocent babies, I wouldn't give her a dime.
M0M0F03
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:06 AM
2 moms liked this

I'd HELP her find a shelter to get into. They have some great programs out there, just look for them. If you rent her a place, you are asking for disaster. If she trashes it, you pay. You can help people without dishing out money.

Maxi_Maxi
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:06 AM
I wouldn't be helping. I'd cut her out of my life. It sounds cruel but if she's been this way her whole life, I doubt she's going to change unless she has to help herself.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:08 AM

The shelters in our area are full unless you have kids. Since the kids don't live with them a shelter isn't an option for them



Quoting M0M0F03:

I'd HELP her find a shelter to get into. They have some great programs out there, just look for them. If you rent her a place, you are asking for disaster. If she trashes it, you pay. You can help people without dishing out money.



mamakin616
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:08 AM
6 moms liked this

Tell GRAMDMA to pay for it if she is so convinced it will be the miracle cure!! I am not trying to be mean..I have dealt with this same situation...Until I had to say GOODBYE>>STAY AWAY...I was being driven insane with worry and with requests for more and more help...What she needs is a good rehab for a year ..not a free ride from your pocketbook.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:09 AM
No you aren't wrong! If she really wanted to get on her feet and sober up she needs to do it on her own, by giving her a place to live and/or giving her money is only going to enable her. Trust me I know from experience, I went through that with my little sister. Until she hit rock bottom and realized she had a problem nothing I did to help her did a bit of good.
Foleygirl24
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

Following your grandma's wishes would only enable her further. You are doing the right thing.

M0M0F03
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Does she have a job? Maybe move her away from the area. Get her away from the "friends" she doing drugs with? Just a thought.

Quoting Anonymous:

The shelters in our area are full unless you have kids. Since the kids don't live with them a shelter isn't an option for them



Quoting M0M0F03:

I'd HELP her find a shelter to get into. They have some great programs out there, just look for them. If you rent her a place, you are asking for disaster. If she trashes it, you pay. You can help people without dishing out money.




LadyVoldemort
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 10:10 AM
I'd tell grandma to help her
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