Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why do people make a lifestyle of poor decision making?

Posted by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:06 PM
  • 130 Replies
1 mom liked this

 I would like to understand. I'm not talking about one or two bonehead decisions. We are all guilty of those. But I'm referring to strings of bad decisions and lifestyle choices. And the other thing that baffles me is that, often, people don't see the problem. They think this is normal. I fail to see how this can be. I fail to see how someone wouldn't notice, amidst all their issues, that life would be better with some better decision making. Here are examples of what I'm talking about...

Multiple abortions

Multiple baby daddies/mommas

Multiple divorces

Constant drama (he said, she said, "I'm pissed at her because...", "I'm never talking to him again because...",being confrontational over every little thing you don't like, pot stirring of all varieties)

Choosing to buy non-necessities and then living in a panic because bills aren't paid

Living like animals then being shocked and dismayed when CPS shows up

Having babies you can't afford (on purpose) and then fuss about struggling

Those are the first few that come to mind. I truly want to understand. How can it not dawn on someone that they are making bad decisions and there's a need to reevaluate their choices? Are people just that dense or is there some other issue? Do people enjoy living in stress every day? Please enlighten me.

 

by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
P.V.Hawkwind
by Ruby Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:09 PM

SO and I made bad choices last year idk why...we were just dumb and learned a huge lesson and still recovering from it.  Some people were taught different. My mom was always broke and spent money when she shouldn't...SO mom and dad did the same.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this

They were never taught any different.  It's one cycle perpetuating another cycle.  They probably have not had anyone in their lives to point out what they are doing/have done wrong.  Either that or it's where they live and it is the "norm".

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM
This.

Quoting Anonymous:

They were never taught any different.  It's one cycle perpetuating another cycle.  They probably have not had anyone in their lives to point out what they are doing/have done wrong.  Either that or it's where they live and it is the "norm".

garnet83
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:13 PM

 Even when it's generational, do people look around and notice that there are plenty of people who don't have those problems and prefer to pursue that sort of lifestyle instead?

Quoting P.V.Hawkwind:

SO and I made bad choices last year idk why...we were just dumb and learned a huge lesson and still recovering from it.  Some people were taught different. My mom was always broke and spent money when she shouldn't...SO mom and dad did the same.

 

Jessy76
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I think for some people it's a learn pattern from their own parents or families. For others they are drawn to and truely like the drama and attention from the drama.

Diatech12
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:14 PM
I've wondered this about my dad.
He made the decision to quit school his junior year, he's actually extremely smart but NEVER used that. He made more bad decisions like moving away from us, simply because he didn't like the city( we live in a small rural town lol!) and then wondered why our relationship suffered.
He continually put himself in crappy situations, all by his own doing. Really simple things could have made his life 10x easier but he refused to do them.

My husband and I have made a few bad choices, nothing tote detriment of our family biut we recognize them and are actively trying to make it better. I think that's a big difference. I know for my dad, that was a norm of how he was raised, making dumb choices.
P.V.Hawkwind
by Ruby Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Yes and I did. He made a lot money and then we just spent because we thought we could. We learned our lesson the hard away and mange money much better now.

Quoting garnet83:

 Even when it's generational, do people look around and notice that there are plenty of people who don't have those problems and prefer to pursue that sort of lifestyle instead?

Quoting P.V.Hawkwind:

SO and I made bad choices last year idk why...we were just dumb and learned a huge lesson and still recovering from it.  Some people were taught different. My mom was always broke and spent money when she shouldn't...SO mom and dad did the same.

 


garnet83
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:16 PM

 In such a case, how do they view those whose lifestyles are primarily made up of good decisions, or at least avoiding bad ones? Do they see those people as abnormal?

Quoting Anonymous:

They were never taught any different.  It's one cycle perpetuating another cycle.  They probably have not had anyone in their lives to point out what they are doing/have done wrong.  Either that or it's where they live and it is the "norm".

 

eviesmom453
by Platinum Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Who knows.

lisabiron3
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:17 PM

 Some people never learn. They don't want to break out of there comfort zone.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)