Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My daughter was humiliated in the lunch line. . . by staff WITH UPDATE TO ANSWER ALL THE LOVELY QUESTIONS

Posted by   + Show Post

My dd is a little over sensitive, but her lunch account was -.06 cents.  It is the school's policy to allow a student to get to $ -10 before they are made to eat PB and J. 

This week has been the first week of school up here.  I was thinking they'd send a notice home if there wasn't enough surplus leftover in their account from last year.  Like a "low balance" notification?

ANyway, the past two days the lunch lady who scans the lunch cards gave my DD a serious attitude.  In line.  In front of her peers.  for being overdrawn -.06. 

This pregnant mama has very little tolerance for stupidity, so I called the school lunch coordinator and asked about their policies concerning humiliating children with a negative balance in the school lunch line?  DOes this witch do the same thing to free and reduced lunch people?

And that's another thing. . . not like any kid deserves more respect than another, but we DO NOT QUALIFY for free or reduced anything.  WE BARELY make over the amount.  So if it takes a few days for me to put lunch money on my kid's account FREAKING FORGIVE ME AND DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON HER.  She's no where near the "PB and J" danger zone. 

Geez. 

I know I probably shouldn't ahve called, but I have a cold, I'm pregnant, my DH is deployed for the better part of a year, and I got slapped with an IRS audit today.  NOT a positive day.  I was surprised I was able to sound as pleasant and polite as I did on the phone!!!

Yes. . .I should have let it go.  but I didn't.  no miserable lunch lady is going to humiliate my kid for MY mistake. 

UPDATE:

Ok. .. I didn't expect all the replies to this. 

I need to clarify some things:

1.  I had a positive balance from last year, and at the end of the year got a letter telling me such.  MY kids started on Thursday last week.  So Tuesday and Wednesday ( the days with the issues concerning the lunch lady) were days 4 and 5 of school.  NO other notification was sent besides my DD telling me I owed money on day 5.  She forgot to tell me on Day 4.  THE interaction was so humiliating to her, that it was the first thing out of her mouth off the bus. 

As far as the interaction from the lunch lady:  DD said she huffed and puffed quite loudly, shook her head and said something under her breath.  Or something along those lines.  Her friends in line heard this and began asking questions.  THAT is what was humiliating to her, and i feel it was completely inappropriate behavior for school staff.  My daughter isn't perfect, but she does have a very strong moral compass.  If she says something was not right, I believe her. 

I specifically asked what happened, she said the lunch lady rolled her eyes, and muttered something under her breath and her friends who were standing beside her took notice and started asking her what was going on. 

My daughter is what everyone classifies as a "good" girl.  She is a model student, and an overall excellent human being.  Every single teacher has LOVED her.  She does not have an attitude and she is not a drama queen.  IF she says that something is really bothering her and NOT right, I can trust that.  This has NEVER happened before. 

Last year there were days that it slipped she needed money.  She never went below -5, and it was NEVER an issue.  Lunch ladies changed.  This woman is just miserable.  Having to juggle the entirety of my household, a pregnancy, and not having ANY family in this area to help makes it difficult for me. 

I could care less that you unsympathetic, RUDE mothers out there could give a crap less.  I am doing the best with the resources I have right now.  If things fall through the cracks, it's because I'm spread pretty thin taking care of the important stuff while DH is deployed. 

Yes.  DD should have had money in my account.  I SLIPPED.  I AM HUMAN, I MADE  A MISTAKE.  My daughter has NEVER had to eat PB and J, and we have ALWAYS paid full price for her meals and my son's meals. 

Even if I was -80, it gives that woman NO RIGHT to treat my kid with disrespect. 

I think this answers the majority of the questions asked. 

ALso, her lunch balance is now fixed.  NO where in here did it say I didnt have the money to pay.  I said 'if it takes a few days to put money on the account".  As in I'm handling things as best as I can right now, and some things are getting shuffled through the cracks.  I'm sure some perfect moms out there could balance everything, but with a deployed husband, no family here, two kids, and the entire responsibilities of the household falling on me, some things get forgotten.  I constantly have a list a mile long to take care of.  The list adjusts and changes as the day goes on.  I prioritize as best I can. 

My DD's feelings ARE important, which is why I put the money in yesterday, THE DAY that she came home and told me.  Lunch lady told her the day before, but dd forgot.  NO LOW bALANCE ShEET was sent home. 

by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 5:08 PM
Replies (321-330):
Denecia
by Silver Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 2:48 PM
We are in California and we as qualified for WIC in Louisiana

Quoting Anonymous:

Which state are you in? Mid west to south? We're in Washington and don't qualify for any of it. We did in MO with three kids though.



Quoting Denecia:

I was going to ask the same question because my husband is E6 and we have 3 kids. We qualify for reduced lunch and even WIC.





Quoting Anonymous:

Wow maybe. We don't come close to qualifying for any type of assistance. Although, you make more overseas, don't you? I don't see how that is possible.







Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe it is because we live overseas...but my friend's husband is an E6 and they get WIC, and reduced lunch...






Quoting Anonymous:

We are e6 with 4 kids and don't qualify for free or reduced lunch. No way any "high ranking enlisted" qualify unless they have 10 kids.









Quoting Anonymous:

you are military with kids and don't qualify for free or reduced lunch??? I find that hard to believe...there are a lot of high ranking enlisteds that qualify!







Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 11, 2013 at 2:57 PM

 What?  I made no mention of your husband.  I was addressing you and wishing YOU the best. 

But go right ahead and play that card if it makes you feel better about yourself.

 

Quoting Katkinson:

 

To qualify for reduced.  Not free. 

Yes.  Because my dh is military, his bas, bah, hazardous duty pay, submarine pro pay, family separation pay, Nuke pay, and sea pay are NON TAXABLE.  OUr TAXABLE Income is literally a THIRD Of what he takes home.  Only base pay is taxable for the military.  Again, that "taxable" income the school would use only accounts for a third of his take home./ 

Nope, dh doesn't have the highest paying job in the world.  Yes, in the civilian sector he could get paid a hell of a lot more.  But he chose to do this and I am fine with that. If you think he needs a "better" job, i guess that's your problem. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 You say you are on ZERO government assistance like you are an exception.  Perhaps you are on CafeMom, but thank GOD, Cafe Mom is not representative of the world as a whole. 

And btw, you said you "barely make over the amount" to qualify for free and reduced. 

Wishing you the best and hoping that you find a better job soon.

Quoting Katkinson:

 I did not state that.  It sounds like that is what I was saying, but my point was that I wanted a few days notice.  I thought it was ridiculous that they don't give me ANY kind of notice. 

The money is in her account.  There never was an issue with "affording" it. 

It also isn't a habit to keep her account negative.  It just happens to be the 5th day of school and I knew they had a positive balance at the end of last year. 

WE are on ZERO government assistance, and we have our own health care.  How many pregnant mothers out there on CM can say the same thing?  Don't worry about us being able to afford a child.  We don't rely on anyone else to pay their way.  They even have GASP! college funds!!! OMG WHAT?

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 No offense but I find it kind of scary that you are having yet another kid when you stated yourself that you can barely afford to keep up with the expenses of the one you have.

Just saying.

Wishing you the best and hoping that you find a better job soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 11, 2013 at 3:22 PM


Way to have compassion, "Crazy Steph". 

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

Really?  There are tons of single parents in the world.  Or parents with sick spouses, deployed spouses, sick parents, etc.  Should they ask every child in the lunch line what their home life is like so they know how to handle them?

Quoting Anonymous:

You think they would be a little more understanding, especially considering your husband is deployed.  I can't imagine dealing with that. *hugs*




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 11, 2013 at 3:43 PM
Oh cry me a river
Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Ok, "Anonymous." WTF?  LOL

Way to answer a question maturely.  Do you honestly think that parents with a deployed spouse should get different treatment than other parents?

Quoting Anonymous:


Way to have compassion, "Crazy Steph". 

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

Really?  There are tons of single parents in the world.  Or parents with sick spouses, deployed spouses, sick parents, etc.  Should they ask every child in the lunch line what their home life is like so they know how to handle them?

Quoting Anonymous:

You think they would be a little more understanding, especially considering your husband is deployed.  I can't imagine dealing with that. *hugs*





JTROX
by Platinum Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 4:26 PM

Our school doesn't send low balance sheets home.  They expect parents to check the balance on their own, and to provide for the child's needs.

It sounds like you are having a rough time.  It doesn't sound like you are ready for another child.

ForeverInLove
by Bronze Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 4:38 PM

Trying to recall memory from about 7 or 8 years ago. You don't need to jump my case over me attempting to help. I was only going off what I remember my friend going through, and what they qualified for based on deployment status.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why would one automatically qualify for free or reduced lunch just bc someone is deployed?

That is ridiculous and we are military and no that doesn't make you automatically qualify.


Quoting ForeverInLove:

I don't know if you'll see this with it being so far down the line, but am I not mistaken that for children with a parent overseas, they qualify for free or reduced lunch based on that? Just as you cannot have your utilities shut off so long as he is overseas (my friend's husband was in Afghanistan, and I remember helping her in rougher times. I stayed at her home for a week and cared for her children while she was in the hospital).















Anonymous
by Anonymous on Sep. 11, 2013 at 4:55 PM

 Didn't jump your case, lighten up it is just the internet.

I just found it ridiculous that people think we qualify for free or reduced lunch just bc of deployment.  That is based on income & technically your income goes up w/deployment.

There is a lot of free things through CYSS for children w/deployed parents, but that has nothing to do w/school.


Quoting ForeverInLove:

Trying to recall memory from about 7 or 8 years ago. You don't need to jump my case over me attempting to help. I was only going off what I remember my friend going through, and what they qualified for based on deployment status.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why would one automatically qualify for free or reduced lunch just bc someone is deployed?

That is ridiculous and we are military and no that doesn't make you automatically qualify.


Quoting ForeverInLove:

I don't know if you'll see this with it being so far down the line, but am I not mistaken that for children with a parent overseas, they qualify for free or reduced lunch based on that? Just as you cannot have your utilities shut off so long as he is overseas (my friend's husband was in Afghanistan, and I remember helping her in rougher times. I stayed at her home for a week and cared for her children while she was in the hospital).




 

DragonInfinity
by Gold Member on Sep. 11, 2013 at 5:02 PM

 Oh, hun...forget about all the crabby b*tches on here and irl!

Even if you had been -50.00 the lunch lady should NOT have taken it out on your dd!!! That was VERY unprefessional and rude. She certainly sounds like an "ole hag" that needs to get the stick outta her ass!

Hopefully everything gets better for ya momma!!! Prayers and Hugs sent your way!!!!

Only once we surrender to the Mystery can it reveal itself to us!!!

HopeAlive
by on Sep. 12, 2013 at 5:03 PM

You certainly have a lot on your plate right now... I know it's so much more difficult when you're man's deployed. Praying for you and your family. *Hugs*

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured